Married ... With Children - Peggy Loves Al, ``Yeah, Yeah, Yeah''   View more episodes

Aired at 05:30 AM on Wednesday, Feb 10, 2010 (2/10/2010)      View all transcripts from this day

Transcript

00:01:11Know, I'm really glad we finally decided yeah, this trip is way overdue.
00:01:15I just can't wait to see all those crunchy flakes in action.
00:01:17™ of raisins in some boxes.
00:01:21You know what will really get us in the spirit?
00:01:22♪ 99 Boxes of raisin bran crunch ♪
00:01:25♪ if you're nice to me I'll share some with you ♪
00:01:29♪ you take one down ( and pass it around ) ♪
00:01:32♪ 98 boxes ofraisin bran crunch ♪
00:01:34three tasty ingredients,one great combination.
00:01:37
00:01:39from kellogg!
00:01:51His bag.
00:01:55Instead of dating all the guys in here, which last year proved almost impossible, I'm going to pick one lucky guy to represent all of my admirers.
00:02:05Everyone has a fair chance.
00:02:07Pick one for me.
00:02:11Josh.
00:02:11He's really ugly. pick again.
00:02:17Sheldon?
00:02:19Ok, give me the bag.
00:02:23Ok.
00:02:25Pick the red one with the star.
00:02:30Johnny.
00:02:31The cutest guy in school.
00:02:33You know how to pick men.
00:02:37Well, all my valentines finally came in.
00:02:41I'm going upstairs to open them.
00:02:44[Bottles clanking] sounds kind of like pop bottles.
00:02:48Well, they're not.
00:02:49They're paper.
00:02:51[Clank] ..
00:02:53You're my valentine.
00:02:55Wow. wait till I go tell the guys.
00:03:00Well, speaking of losers, I'm going to go through these excess valentines.
00:03:04" " "dearest bud"?
00:03:14Yes, yes! I knew it!
00:03:16Give it here.
00:03:23..april may june.
00:03:29She says she loves me, and she's coming over to see me tonight.
00:03:33Oh, that's great, honey.
00:03:35Did you write that card as a joke?
00:03:38No. did you?
00:03:39Hey, you did write this, didn't you, kel?
00:03:42"April, may, june"-- those are all words you know.
00:03:49I've got a chance to see the bulls game tonight.
00:03:53Gee, bud. dilemma, dilemma.
00:03:56Do you get dressed up, stay here, and look like an idiot, or stand up the only date you'll ever have and look like an idiot? mmm, tough one.
00:04:06I'm going to get ready for my real date.
00:04:09Did you write that?
00:04:11Say yes or no.
00:04:13No.
00:04:14I know you did.
00:04:15Ok, yeah, I did.
00:04:16No, you didn't. really, kel?
00:04:20Ok, peg. no sense in putting off the inevitable.
00:04:27Now the kids are upstairs, so we probably shouldn't do it up there, what with your screaming and everything.
00:04:34That was your fault, al.
00:04:36You're the one who turned the lights on.
00:04:44Let's not throw stones on this romantic night.
00:04:47Go downstairs. blow up the air mattress.
00:04:50I'll pop some tums and be right down.
00:04:55" not that again.
00:05:01I know you didn't think of this yourself.
00:05:04Who did--phil, oprah?
00:05:09Marcy.
00:05:09Great. the only one we can't turn off.
00:05:12Al, steve and marcy not only say it, they mean it. they show it.
00:05:18Guess what marcy's giving steve tonight.
00:05:21A running start.
00:05:23She went to cakes-a-poppin'.
00:05:25She's having herself delivered.
00:05:28She'll pop out naked.
00:05:29I hope you're happy.
00:05:30I'll never eat cake again.
00:05:33If she'll do that for steve, " I'm not going downstairs with you unless you say it.
00:05:48Withholding sex from me? oh, no!
00:05:54I'll just have to relax and have fun instead.
00:05:59Come on, peg. what's the big deal?
00:06:02You know I do. I just can't say it.
00:06:05It makes me sick.
00:06:08It doesn't make me sick to say it.
00:06:11I love you.
00:06:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:14I'll be waiting upstairs.
00:06:20Time to reach out and touch someone.
00:06:26Yeah, here we go.
00:06:28Ahem. ahem.
00:06:34 I'm calling about the marcy rhoades cake.
00:06:39This is her husband.
00:06:41There's been a change of plans.
00:06:43..
00:06:46Do you have a pen?
00:06:53Bud, I don't know why you're dressed like that.
00:06:57If you don't have a date, why not go to the game?
00:07:02Maybe I'll spend the night watching the game with my dad.
00:07:07Why? what did I do?
00:07:09Dad, mom's upstairs cursing you.
00:07:11I got to go.
00:07:13Wait a second. come here.
00:07:17Now, you guys are, what, in your teens?
00:07:23Something like that, dad, yeah.
00:07:25You've known me most of those years.
00:07:28How do you think I feel?
00:07:31..
00:07:33Loves us?
00:07:34Yeah, that.
00:07:35You guys know that, right?
00:07:38Sure.
00:07:39Dad, are you dying?
00:07:45Yes, but no one seems to care.
00:07:47..
00:07:52That you love us?
00:07:53Yes.
00:07:54You'll tell us when you're ready.
00:07:57It would make a nice moment when you're old and feeble.
00:08:05Thank you.
00:08:10I'd get ready, bud.
00:08:12I'm not falling for it, kel.
00:08:22Look, dad, I've got a hot date coming.
00:08:25Get out.
00:08:29But the game's on.
00:08:33..
00:08:34If you left now, ..
00:08:39You love me.
00:08:54.. how you doing?
00:08:58People shouldn't have to say it. it's unnecessary.
00:09:01I haven't cheated on you or asked for my own room.
00:09:05I stayed through two kids and your hot pants phase.
00:09:10Doesn't that say it?
00:09:11No.
00:09:12..
00:09:14Could I have my own room?
00:09:17No!
00:09:18I want to hear it.
00:09:20Why?
00:09:21Because it's nice to know.
00:09:23I'll start. I love you.
00:09:26This really makes my stomach hurt.
00:09:29You can feel better quick. just say it.
00:09:34..
00:09:36I have to go to the bathroom.
00:09:47Thanks, kel.
00:09:49Real funny joke.
00:09:50..
00:09:52You're so immature.
00:09:55I hope you like itching powder in your bra.
00:10:00[Doorbell rings] hi, bud. did you get my valentine?
00:10:10I'm april may june.
00:10:14Yes, yes, I vaguely remember.
00:10:17Come in, come in.
00:10:26..you have quite an unusual name.
00:10:29How did you get it?
00:10:31My parents are idiots.
00:10:34We have a lot in common.
00:10:36So I should be your valentine?
00:10:39I saw you around school.
00:10:41I think you're cute, but you never noticed me.
00:10:45You think I'm cute?
00:10:46All the girls do.
00:10:47Then why did I only get one stinking valentine?
00:10:53Sorry. I meant thank you.
00:10:57Why are you scratching?
00:10:59It's this darn bra.
00:11:03That's better.
00:11:04Don't you hate it when they ride up on you?
00:11:11Ok, peg, I'll say it.
00:11:14But before I say it, I want to tell you I hate you for this.
00:11:21I don't want to do it. I'm unhappy.
00:11:24My stomach is boiling. my palms are sweating.
00:11:28And if you think you're getting a jump after this, you're sadly mistaken.
00:11:33If you had a brain, you'd already know.
00:11:36You want to hear it. it's what you want.
00:11:39It's your stinking, lousy valentine's day present.
00:11:43So here it is.
00:11:46I love you.
00:11:51Oh, al!
00:11:54You didn't have to say that.
00:12:01Gee, I only hope that steve and marcy are as happy as we are right now.
00:12:07I don't know about steve, but, uh, marcy's having the night of her life.
00:12:15♪♪ My funny valentine ♪♪
00:12:19♪♪ sweet, comic valentine ♪♪
00:12:22♪♪ you make me smile ♪♪
00:12:25♪♪ with your heart ♪♪♪♪
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00:16:16Captioning made possible bycolumbia tristar domestic television ♪ love and marriage ♪
00:16:23♪ love and marriage ♪
00:16:26♪ go together likea horse and carriage ♪
00:16:29♪ this I tell ya,brother ♪
00:16:34♪ you can't have one ♪
00:16:35♪ without the other ♪
00:16:38♪ love and marriage ♪
00:16:40♪ love and marriage-- ♪♪
00:16:46hello, carol?
00:16:49Bud bundy here.
00:16:52Hello?
00:16:59Hello, carol? don't hang up.
00:17:01I got tickets to the concert.
00:17:03Yes. it's bud bundy.
00:17:04 what would you say to a couple of primo seats to the jimmy dick and the nightsticks concert saturday?
00:17:12Well, yeah, you'd have to go with me.
00:17:16I think it's worth it, too.
00:17:19Good.
00:17:19I'll pick you up at 8:00.
00:17:22Ciao,baby.
00:17:24..
00:17:24So many women, so little time.
00:17:28Not me.
00:17:29I got one woman, too much time.
00:17:32I'm not interested, dad.
00:17:33I really want to impress this girl, so could you drive me?
00:17:38Could you wear a chauffeur hat?
00:17:40And put something under your arm so it looks like you're packing a rod.
00:17:45 what your father's got under there already is far more lethal.
00:17:52Al, the termite control man needs you.
00:17:56Oh, why?
00:17:56I keep telling you we don't have termites.
00:18:04It's just the house settling.
00:18:09Kel, did you get the concert tickets?
00:18:12.. and backstage passes.
00:18:15You're a goddess.
00:18:16Give me my tickets.
00:18:17I decided not to get you any.
00:18:19It was either use your money for four tickets or get two tickets and backstage passes for me.
00:18:26I'm taking my ugly friend.
00:18:28That way jimmy will only look at me.
00:18:30I'm so happy.
00:18:33Well, kel.
00:18:34I'm happy for you, !
00:18:40..
00:18:41I'm going to meet jimmy dick!
00:18:44He's got this house in jamaica.
00:18:46Do you know what I'd do for that?
00:18:49What you'd do for dinner and a movie.
00:19:18know are, how do we know how many classrooms we need?
00:19:22The census helps us know exactly what we need.
00:19:25So everyone can get their fair share of funding.
00:19:27We can't move forward until you mail it back.
00:19:302010 Census auto!
00:19:34 finding everything okay?
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00:19:41With progressive, you get the "name your price" option, so we build a policy to fit your budget.
00:19:46Wow! the price gun.
00:19:47
00:19:47wish we had this.
00:19:48We'd just tell people what to pay.
00:19:50Yeah, we're the only ones that do.
00:19:52I love your insurance!
00:19:53Bill?
00:19:54Tom?
00:19:55Hey! it's an office party!
00:19:57The freedom to name your price.
00:19:59Only from progressive.
00:19:59Call or click today.
00:20:33Luci romberg.
00:20:34..
00:20:34...National champion gymnast...
00:20:37...Martial artist...
00:20:39And a stuntwoman.
00:20:40If you want to be incredible,eat incredible.
00:20:42 incredibleenergy for body and mind.
00:20:45(Guitar music) didn't I say wipe your feet before coming into the house?
00:21:55Now we have termites.
00:21:57Now, kids, don't be ashamed.
00:21:59Even the finest homes have termites.
00:22:01Of course they get them from homes like ours.
00:22:07Kel, dad's in a bad mood.
00:22:09Be on your best behavior.
00:22:10Anything could get you grounded.
00:22:12Don't worry.
00:22:13I cleaned my room. I did my chores. I'm untouchable.
00:22:20Hey, dad.
00:22:21Report card day.
00:22:25I GOT FOUR As AND A "B," But enough about me.
00:22:29Batter up.
00:22:34..
00:22:35I lost it.
00:22:36..this is your lucky day...
00:22:44Because I found it.
00:22:46It must have fallen out of your purse and accidently got taped under your bed.
00:22:53How did she do?
00:22:56Ahem.
00:22:57" what happened, kel, you attend one?
00:23:03Kelly, this is the worst yet.
00:23:05We'll have to think of a punishment for this.
00:23:08I'm sure you'll think of something.
00:23:11Have a good time at that concert, kel.
00:23:14Concert?
00:23:15You think you're going to a concert?
00:23:18No way. you're grounded.
00:23:20Grounded?
00:23:21Kelly, you have got to learn responsibility.
00:23:24Want to see your father's old report cards?
00:23:27He didn't think studying was important, either.
00:23:31Now look at him.
00:23:34Mom, you're right, of course, but won't you reconsider?
00:23:37I know kelly will study for monday's math test right after the concert.
00:23:43You have a math test monday?
00:23:45Damn my loose lips.
00:23:49Kelly?
00:23:50Come on.
00:23:52When am I going to need math?
00:23:54..
00:23:58Three whoppers, large fries, and a coke.
00:24:03Yo, mr. bundy.
00:24:05More news on the termite front.
00:24:07A termite slipped, broke his wing, and he's suing us.
00:24:11On the good side, he can't get much.
00:24:15Kel, I know you're thinking, " I'll take them for you.
00:24:23You think I'm staying here when I'm just a paternity suit away from jamaica?
00:24:31Oh, no, budrick.
00:24:33I'm sneaking out. I do it all the time.
00:24:36No house can hold me, and you aren't going to tell.
00:24:41You can count on me, kel.
00:24:43I know I can because I know the identity of the masked lovers' lane peeper.
00:24:51You know, the one the whole football team has a bounty on?
00:24:56You--you-- you have no proof.
00:25:00Oh?
00:25:04..
00:25:04What would you call this mask and flashlight?
00:25:10I just look.
00:25:13 bundy, we tent this baby up, and in a couple of days, adios, termites.
00:25:19How much will it cost?
00:25:21Just a second.
00:25:23Let's see.
00:25:24We're going to need the special tent.
00:25:27Special tent? for what?
00:25:29Your house is shaped oddly.
00:25:31You mean like a house?
00:25:33Yeah. too bad.
00:25:34Let's see. you got floors.
00:25:37That's extra.
00:25:38You got rooms.
00:25:40That's extra.
00:25:41And windows, too.
00:25:43Uh-oh.
00:25:45You got an attached garage, so I'll give you 10% off, but then it is another room, so that's extra.
00:25:53Plus gratuity.
00:25:55That comes to $1,750.
00:25:58We'll think about it.
00:26:00We'll let you know.
00:26:02Be quick.
00:26:02Our price goes up next week.
00:26:05I'm getting my license.
00:26:06Kelly, you see what happens when you study?
00:26:11$1,750 A job.
00:26:12$1,750 A year.
00:26:14Yes.
00:26:16No.
00:26:17Winner.
00:26:18Loser.
00:26:20Suicide.
00:26:22Reason.
00:26:25I can squeeze you in on saturday.
00:26:28Saturday's fine.
00:26:30Saturday?
00:26:32Is a check ok?
00:26:34No.
00:26:37Ah, that's just great.
00:26:38$1,750 For a tent to put over a house.
00:26:42Why don't we just borrow one of your mother's muumuus?
00:26:47If she doesn't wash it, we won't have to pay for the poison, either.
00:26:54Since they will be spraying the house, we will have to find someplace to stay.
00:27:01I can stay at my friend's.
00:27:03You're grounded this weekend.
00:27:05You're staying with the family and studying.
00:27:08We need a place that's cheap, comfortable, and accepts pets.
00:27:13I got it.
00:27:14We'll sleep in the shoe store.
00:27:17Oh, honey, please reconsider.
00:27:19There's still time to get cardboard boxes and sleep in the junkyard.
00:27:23Nah, it's too much like staying at your mother's.
00:27:27The shoe store's better and safer.
00:27:30Once I lock it up, nobody can get in.
00:27:34Or out.
00:27:55Els look so mad.
00:27:55Maybe it's because their department store makeup is so expensive.
00:27:58Simply ageless with olayregenerist serum costs less and it won't glob upin lines and wrinkles.
00:28:03You'll look amazing and happy too.
00:28:05Simply ageless, from olay and easy breezy beautiful covergirl.
00:28:11know are, how do we know how many classrooms we need?
00:28:15The census helps us know exactly what we need.
00:28:18So everyone can get their fair share of funding.
00:28:20We can't move forward until you mail it back.
00:28:232010 Census