Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Dickesode   View more episodes

Aired at 12:45 AM on Thursday, Feb 25, 2010 (2/25/2010)      View all transcripts from this day

Transcript

00:00:00Even know what you're talking about.
00:00:01Nobody won anything here.
00:00:02>> Mind if I look around?
00:00:04[Crash] >> yes, I do mind.
00:00:07>> Oh. scratch off and win.
00:00:09>> Every cup's a winner!
00:00:11>> 1 In 3 chance of getting your dick ripped off.
00:00:14 you're wasting your time because no one won that.
00:00:17 well, that's not what he said.
00:00:19>> Who won it, little man?
00:00:21>> 'Cause someone's dick is coming with me tonight!
00:00:24>> Next door and shut up!
00:00:26>> Shake!
00:00:27>> I'm trying to watch this show.
00:00:28Will you shut the hell up?
00:00:30God!
00:00:30>> Good-bye.
00:00:33Carl, come on out.
00:00:34>> Are they gone?
00:00:35>> Yeah. to your house.
00:00:37They're gonna turn it inside out, carl, until he gets ahold of your dick.
00:00:41>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
00:00:42He's over here!
00:00:43Where'd you go?
00:00:44>> Would you shut up?
00:00:45Apparently, carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract.
00:00:49It enables them to rip off your dick.
00:00:51>> Oh, no!
00:00:51>> Yeah.
00:00:52And there's really nothing i can do about it.
00:01:02[Cell phone ringing] >> hello?
00:01:04>> Did you get the dick yet?
00:01:05>> We're working on it, mr. wong burger.
00:01:10>> Finally tonight, I will have enough dicks to complete the dickship and return to dick planet.
00:01:16>> Yes, mr. wong burger.
00:01:20>> How we gonna get out of this, fry man?
00:01:22>> Well, I have an idea, but it's not very good.
00:01:25>> Those dicks, will you, please, somebody stack them better?
00:01:28>> The dicks won't hold together, mr. wong burger!
00:01:31>> We're gonna have to wrap these dicks with something, maybe with a--a dick.
00:01:37>> Are you telling me that i don't know dick?
00:01:39If anyone knows how to build a ship out of dicks, it is me!
00:01:43>> Yes, mr. wong burger.
00:01:45>> Because I am king dick!
00:01:46>> We're missing a dick for the nose cone!
00:01:49>> The dick ship will never hold together.
00:01:51What's taking them so long?
00:01:53He entered a binding legal contract the moment he took a sip.
00:01:56..
00:01:58Dicking around over there, do you?
00:02:01>> I doubt it.
00:02:02They're professional dick hunters.
00:02:04They crave dick, as we all do.
00:02:08>> You can get up now, carl.
00:02:09I think we're done.
00:02:10>> Oh, man.
00:02:11>> Feel all right?
00:02:12>> Where'd you get these painkillers?
00:02:14They're awesome.
00:02:15 maybe you should just, like, use pills forever.
00:02:20>> Yeah. you're right.
00:02:22This was a, uh, very bad idea.
00:02:24>> Hey, carlina, wow!
00:02:26>> Oh. I get it.
00:02:27 you put me under, dressed me like a woman, took pictures of me.
00:02:31Laugh's on me, huh?
00:02:32>> Well, no, carl.
00:02:33See--heh--uh, you're not just dressed like a woman.
00:02:39>> Oh, do go on, please.
00:02:40>> Well, it's pretty simple really.
00:02:42I removed your dick so no one will have no need to remove it.
00:02:45>> So the giant blood stain is, uh--what is that, me having my period, I guess?
00:02:49Heh heh!
00:02:50>> It could be, or it could be just the spot where I snipped your dick off.
00:02:55>> You're taking this pretty good, carl.
00:02:58Kudos.
00:02:59>> Seems like this whole thing kind of defeats the purpose, you know?
00:03:02>> Yep.
00:03:03And what I just did was a very bad idea.
00:03:05>> You think, uh, maybe i could, uh, have my dick back?
00:03:07Oh, wait. you know what?
00:03:08Maybe you should keep my dick so you could, uh, hump yourself!
00:03:13>> Technically, that would not be, uh, doing yourself, just for the record.
00:03:17>> Hey, carl. look at that.
00:03:18You can still pick your dick out of the garbage.
00:03:20>> Is that it?
00:03:21Is that mine?
00:03:22Of course it is.
00:03:23It's got that curve to the left.
00:03:24No, no, no!
00:03:26Why'd you let them take it?
00:03:28>> Hang on, hang on, hang on.
00:03:29I have a better plan.
00:03:30Meatwad, you got a big dick, right?
00:03:32 huge, but I need it for tonight.
00:03:35>> But it's detachable, so that helps us.
00:03:38>> No!
00:03:38No way I'm having a dick made of hamburger.
00:03:41>> I'm not giving it to you.
00:03:42>> Good because I don't need it because I'm huge between the legs!
00:03:47>> Who wants to see my dick?
00:03:48[Grease squishing] see?
00:03:52Dick nixon.
00:03:53Old tricky dick.
00:03:55>> I have another idea.
00:03:56>> All the dicks are polished, sir.
00:03:58>> Probably needs just a couple more dick rotors, maybe a dick wheel or two.
00:04:04>> Yes, mr. wong burger!
00:04:06>> And, uh, do we have to fuel it up with some dicks?
00:04:09 we got a full tank of dicks.
00:04:12>> Full tank. good, good, good.
00:04:14Wall-to-wall dick carpeting?
00:04:15 you've mentioned that, mr. wong burger.
00:04:18>> Agh! dicks!
00:04:19Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!
00:04:21>> Intruders!
00:04:23Stop them!
00:04:24>> Close the dick gate!
00:04:30>> What are you doing touching my dicks?
00:04:32>> You can't just run around, ripping off people's dicks to make a giant dickship.
00:04:36>> I have an advanced degree in dicknology!
00:04:38>> You're a madman, wong bu this ship will never fly.
00:04:41>> Well, how else am I supposed to get home?
00:04:45>> Call someone to pick you up.
00:04:51>> I will.
00:04:53 you don't know which one of these is carl's.
00:04:56>> It don't matter.
00:04:57Just get one.
00:04:57>> You grab one.
00:04:58I'm not touching those dicks.
00:05:01>> Hopefully, the swelling in your chest should go down once the testosterone fully circulates around your body.
00:05:07>> Ohh.
00:05:08What about my voice?
00:05:09 I added a third testicle to speed up the process.
00:05:12I'll have to cut it out later.
00:05:14Otherwise, you'd just go insane with rage.
00:05:16>> Whoa! check it out!
00:05:17Somebody's suing wong burger!
00:05:19>> Wong burger could not be reached for comment as he left the press conference in a giant spaceship made of dicks, which crashed into a building made of dicks.
00:05:30Apparently that's what the building was made of, if you've ever seen it from the interstate.
00:05:34..
00:05:38Total, uh--you know, a total, ..
00:05:44Uh, what's the word I'm looking for here?
00:05:46..uh...
00:05:48..
00:05:50>> While you guys are busy wasting, I found a perfectly good hot dog in the trash sitting right on top of two soggy walnuts.
00:06:01Mm.
00:06:02Still in the wrapper.
00:06:03I mean, there's hair on them, but, hey, a little brush off.
00:06:06Delicious.
00:06:07Mm.
00:06:08This tastes like blood.
00:06:10Wow!
00:06:11This hot dog.
00:06:13I think the gum is blood flavored.
00:06:16Wait.
00:06:18Yeah. definitely blood flavored.
00:06:20[Captioning made possible by turner entertainment group] [captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--] BE ON THE UGLY SIDE OF Town.
00:07:27Because everybody here is, like, gross.
00:07:30[ growls ] HE PUT HIS HANDS WHERE?
00:07:32Uhh. he's likea six handed monkey.
00:07:36Ewww! sky rats!
00:07:37Give daddy a kiss.
00:07:39[ woman screaming ] [Captioning made possible by turner entertainment group] >> lord in heaven, have him call me.
00:11:04[Sighs] satan in hell, make him call me.
00:11:13Why doesn't he call?
00:11:15[Ring] ah!
00:11:16[Ring] clay?
00:11:21Huh, just a lucky guess.
00:11:24What's up?
00:11:25Ooh, sure, I'll be there in 10.
00:11:29Now, which one of you little guys did this for me?
00:11:32Cootchie cootchie coo.
00:11:34..
00:11:36So, how's work, clay?
00:11:38>> Well, you know, pays the bills.
00:11:40>> Mmm, I'll be it does.
00:11:42Heh heh.
00:11:43>> Oh, it does.
00:11:45Believe you me.ll bet.
00:11:51Hmm?
00:11:52>> Yeah, keeps me busy as a little male beaver.
00:11:56>> Mmm, my kind of beaver.
00:11:58Heh heh.
00:12:01>> Dolly, can we settle up?
00:12:04I should go.
00:12:05>> Great.
00:12:07>> Yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn!
00:12:12[Humming] my, you're working late.
00:12:18..
00:12:19>> Dead end job, mm-hmm.
00:12:26>> ♪♪ I'll miss you when you coming home?
00:12:31Where you been to?
00:12:33You can telephone is this the time when supposed to find it now I've got enough friends just to pass the time I kissed you on a saturday I miss you even more today ♪♪
00:13:04>> yes, well, the lord's logic is very complex when it comes to hating nipples.
00:13:09You see, with men, he-- hello.
00:13:12>> Danielle?
00:13:14>> They never make these loose enough down south.
00:13:16>> Oh?
00:13:18>> Bought these in argentina.
00:13:19Heh heh heh.
00:13:22>> So, reverend, can you give me a scoop on what the sermon's about today?
00:13:26>> I think I'm gonna call an audible this week, orel, for our special guest.
00:13:31>> Exciting.
00:13:32>> Homosexuality.
00:13:35>> [Collective gasp] >> not only is it the biggest sin out there, it's just plain unfair.
00:13:39Men with men?
00:13:41Are you kidding me?
00:13:42Ha!
00:13:43Try not to lose your virginity under those circumstances.
00:13:46I mean, you cut out women and you cut out teasing and shelling out cash for expensive dinners and nagging.
00:13:52In fact, gay men would have it made in the shade if it weren't for one thing: God hates 'em.
00:14:00Why?
00:14:01Because they can't multiply.
00:14:02Seriously.
00:14:03As hard as they kiss and press their stupid bodies together, they're never going to squeeze a baby out of each other.
00:14:09I'm telling you, it's a joke.
00:14:10And guess who's the only one laughing.
00:14:13>> Satan.
00:14:13>> Satan, that's right.
00:14:15In fact, he makes it happen.
00:14:16>> Hmm?
00:14:18Let's do this.
00:14:23>> [Laughter] >> coach stopframe?
00:14:27>> Oh, hi, orel.
00:14:29>> Whatcha got there?
00:14:30>> Mmm, nothing, just a picture.
00:14:32Oh, hey, orel, do you think that you could get me a little bit of your dad's hair?
00:14:37>> Sure.
00:14:38What for?
00:14:39>> Well, I want to buy him a new comb and I need to see what gauge teeth to get on it.
00:14:46>> Gotcha.
00:00:00You're from wong's, aren't you?
00:00:02>> Yes, I am.
00:00:03So who's gonna get their dick ripped off tonight?
00:00:08>> Well, he ain't here.
00:00:09>> Who's not here?
00:00:10>> Carl, the guy that it ain't happening to.
00:00:13>> So someone won.
00:00:15>> I don't even know what you're talking about.
00:00:16Nobody won anything here.
00:00:17>> Mind if I look around?
00:00:19[Crash] >> yes, I do mind.
00:00:22>> Oh. scratch off and win.
00:00:24>> Every cup's a winner!
00:00:26>> 1 In 3 chance of getting your dick ripped off.
00:00:29 you're wasting your time because no one won that.
00:00:32 well, that's not what he said.
00:00:34>> Who won it, little man?
00:00:36>> 'Cause someone's dick is coming with me tonight!
00:00:40>> Next door and shut up!
00:00:41>> Shake!
00:00:42>> I'm trying to watch this show.
00:00:44Will you shut the hell up?
00:00:45God!
00:00:46>> Good-bye.
00:00:48Carl, come on out.
00:00:50>> Are they gone?
00:00:51>> Yeah. to your house.
00:00:52They're gonna turn it inside out, carl, until he gets ahold of your dick.
00:00:56>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
00:00:58He's over here!
00:00:58Where'd you go?
00:00:59>> Would you shut up?
00:01:01Apparently, carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract.
00:01:04It enables them to rip off your dick.
00:01:06>> Oh, no!
00:01:07>> Yeah.
00:01:08And there's really nothing i can do about it.
00:01:17[Cell phone ringing] >> hello?
00:01:19>> Did you get the dick yet?
00:01:20>> We're working on it, mr. wong burger.
00:01:25>> Finally tonight, I will have enough dicks to complete the dickship and return to dick planet.
00:01:31>> Yes, mr. wong burger.
00:01:35>> How we gonna get out of this, fry man?
00:01:37>> Well, I have an idea, but it's not very good.
00:01:41>> Those dicks, will you, please, somebody stack them better?
00:01:43>> The dicks won't hold together, mr. wong burger!
00:01:46>> We're gonna have to wrap these dicks with something, maybe with a--a dick.
00:01:52>> Are you telling me that i don't know dick?
00:01:55If anyone knows how to build a ship out of dicks, it is me!
00:01:58>> Yes, mr. wong burger.
00:02:00>> Because I am king dick!
00:02:01>> We're missing a dick for the nose cone!
00:02:04>> The dick ship will never hold together.
00:02:07What's taking them so long?
00:02:09He entered a binding legal contract the moment he took a sip.
00:02:12..
00:02:13Dicking around over there, do you?
00:02:16>> I doubt it.
00:02:17They're professional dick hunters.
00:02:19They crave dick, as we all do.
00:02:24>> You can get up now, carl.
00:02:25I think we're done.
00:02:25>> Oh, man.
00:02:27>> Feel all right?
00:02:28>> Where'd you get these painkillers?
00:02:29They're awesome.
00:02:30 maybe you should just, like, use pills forever.
00:02:35>> Yeah. you're right.
00:02:37This was a, uh, very bad idea.
00:02:39>> Hey, carlina, wow!
00:02:41>> Oh. I get it.
00:02:42 you put me under, dressed me like a woman, took pictures of me.
00:02:46Laugh's on me, huh?
00:02:47>> Well, no, carl.
00:02:48See--heh--uh, you're not just dressed like a woman.
00:02:54>> Oh, do go on, please.
00:02:55>> Well, it's pretty simple really.
00:02:57I removed your dick so no one will have no need to remove it.
00:03:00>> So the giant blood stain is, uh--what is that, me having my period, I guess?
00:03:05Heh heh!
00:03:05>> It could be, or it could be just the spot where I snipped your dick off.
00:03:10>> You're taking this pretty good, carl.
00:03:13Kudos.
00:03:14>> Seems like this whole thing kind of defeats the purpose, you know?
00:03:17>> Yep.
00:03:18And what I just did was a very bad idea.
00:03:20>> You think, uh, maybe i could, uh, have my dick back?
00:03:22Oh, wait. you know what?
00:03:23Maybe you should keep my dick so you could, uh, hump yourself!
00:03:28>> Technically, that would not be, uh, doing yourself, just for the record.
00:03:32>> Hey, carl. look at that.
00:03:33You can still pick your dick out of the garbage.
00:03:36>> Is that it?
00:03:36Is that mine?
00:03:37Of course it is.
00:03:38It's got that curve to the left.
00:03:39No, no, no!
00:03:41Why'd you let them take it?
00:03:43>> Hang on, hang on, hang on.
00:03:44I have a better plan.
00:03:45Meatwad, you got a big dick, right?
00:03:47 huge, but I need it for tonight.
00:03:50>> But it's detachable, so that helps us.
00:03:53>> No!
00:03:54No way I'm having a dick made of hamburger.
00:03:56>> I'm not giving it to you.
00:03:57>> Good because I don't need it because I'm huge between the legs!
00:04:02>> Who wants to see my dick?
00:04:03[Grease squishing] see?
00:04:07Dick nixon.
00:04:08Old tricky dick.
00:04:10>> I have another idea.
00:04:11>> All the dicks are polished, sir.
00:04:13>> Probably needs just a couple more dick rotors, maybe a dick wheel or two.
00:04:19>> Yes, mr. wong burger!
00:04:21>> And, uh, do we have to fuel it up with some dicks?
00:04:24 we got a full tank of dicks.
00:04:27>> Full tank. good, good, good.
00:04:29Wall-to-wall dick carpeting?
00:04:30 you've mentioned that, mr. wong burger.
00:04:34>> Agh! dicks!
00:04:35Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!
00:04:36>> Intruders!
00:04:39Stop them!
00:04:40>> Close the dick gate!
00:04:45>> What are you doing touching my dicks?
00:04:47>> You can't just run around, ripping off people's dicks to make a giant dickship.
00:04:51Advanced degree in dicknology!
00:04:53>> You're a madman, wong burger!
00:04:55This ship will never fly.
00:04:56>> Well, how else am I supposed to get home?
00:05:00>> Call someone to pick you up.
00:05:06>> I will.
00:05:09 you don't know which one of these is carl's.
00:05:11>> It don't matter.
00:05:12Just get one.
00:05:13>> You grab one.
00:05:14I'm not touching those dicks.
00:05:16>> Hopefully, the swelling in your chest should go down once the testosterone fully circulates around your body.
00:05:22>> Ohh.
00:05:23What about my voice?
00:05:25 I added a third testicle to speed up the process.
00:05:27I'll have to cut it out later.
00:05:29Otherwise, you'd just go insane with rage.
00:05:31>> Whoa! check it out!
00:05:32Somebody's suing wong burger!
00:05:34>> Wong burger could not be reached for comment as he left the press conference in a giant spaceship made of dicks, which crashed into a building made of dicks.
00:05:45Apparently that's what the building was made of, if you've ever seen it from the interstate.
00:05:49..
00:05:53Total, uh--you know, a total, ..
00:05:59Uh, what's the word I'm looking for here?
00:06:01..uh...
00:06:04..
00:06:05>> While you guys are busy wasting, I found a perfectly good hot dog in the trash sitting right on top of two soggy walnuts.
00:06:16Mm.
00:06:17Still in the wrapper.
00:06:18I mean, there's hair on them, but, hey, a little brush off.
00:06:21Delicious.
00:06:22Mm.
00:06:23This tastes like blood.
00:06:25Wow!
00:06:26This hot dog.
00:06:29I think the gum is blood flavored.
00:06:31Wait.
00:06:33Yeah. definitely blood flavored.
00:06:35[Captioning made possible by turner entertainment group] [captioned by the national captioning institute it always pays to double-check.
00:07:17( yips ) ..
00:07:19To make sure you're savingall you can on car insurance.
00:07:22Like a good neighbor,state farm is there.
00:07:27car.
00:07:27I'll give you $500 off.
00:07:30Great. show me the carfax.
00:07:33I'll throw in the oil changes.
00:07:34How about you show me the carfax?
00:07:35Is there anything I can do to put you in this car today?
00:07:39( laughs ) OKAY. JUST SHOW ME THE CARFAX.
00:07:41Anything else?
00:07:44..
00:07:45Can help you choosea great used car.
00:07:47Learn about accidents,service records, and previous ownersreported to carfax.
00:07:51It's free at thousandsof reputable dealers.
00:07:54" ..
00:08:01..
00:08:02..
00:08:04And sauteed onions.
00:08:05..
00:08:07Whoopdee! before somebody else does.
00:08:09♪ You know when it's real ♪
00:09:27Male Announcer ] RIGHT NOW,A HANDFUL OF QUARTERS Is all you need to turn "just another boring wednesday night" into pizza hut50¢¢ wing wednesday.
00:09:34Every wing. every flavor.
00:09:35Every wednesday. just 50¢¢ each.
00:09:38And only at your pizza hut.
00:09:41♪♪ ♪♪
00:10:39[captioning made possible by turner entertainment group] >> lord in heaven, have him call me.
00:11:19[Sighs] satan in hell, make him call me.
00:11:28Why doesn't he call?
00:11:29[Ring] ah!
00:11:31[Ring] clay?
00:11:36Huh, just a lucky guess.
00:11:39What's up?
00:11:40Ooh, sure, I'll be there in 10.
00:11:43Now, which one of you little guys did this for me?
00:11:47Cootchie cootchie coo.
00:11:49..
00:11:51So, how's work, clay?
00:11:53>> Well, you know, pays the bills.
00:11:55>> Mmm, I'll be it does.
00:11:57Heh heh.
00:11:58>> Oh, it does.
00:12:00Believe you me.
00:12:02>> Keeps you occupied, I'll bet.
00:12:06Hmm?
00:12:07>> Yeah, keeps me busy as a little male beaver.
00:12:11>> Mmm, my kind of beaver.
00:12:13Heh heh.
00:12:16>> Dolly, can we settle up?
00:12:18I should go.
00:12:20>> Great.
00:12:22>> Yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn!
00:12:27[Humming] my, you're working late.
00:12:33..
00:12:34>> Dead end job, mm-hmm.
00:12:41>> ♪♪ I'll miss you when you coming home?
00:12:46Where you been to?
00:12:48You can telephone is this the time when supposed to find it now I've got enough friends just to pass the time I kissed you on a saturday I miss you even more today ♪♪
00:13:19>> yes, well, the lord's logic is very complex when it comes to hating nipples.
00:13:24You see, with men, he-- hello.
00:13:27>> Danielle?
00:13:28>> They never make these loose enough down south.
00:13:31>> Oh?
00:13:33>> Bought these in argentina.
00:13:34Heh heh heh.
00:13:37>> So, reverend, can you give me a scoop on what the sermon's about today?
00:13:41>> I think I'm gonna call an audible this week, orel, for our special guest.
00:13:46>> Exciting.
00:13:47>> Homosexuality.
00:13:50>> [Collective gasp] >> not only is it the biggest sin out there, it's just plain unfair.
00:13:54Men with men?
00:13:56Are you kidding me?
00:13:57Ha!
00:13:58Try not to lose your virginity under those circumstances.
00:14:01I mean, you cut out women and you cut out teasing and shelling out cash for expensive dinners and nagging.
00:14:07In fact, gay men would have it made in the shade if it weren't for one thing: God hates 'em.
00:14:14Why?
00:14:15Because they can't multiply.
00:14:17Seriously.
00:14:18As hard as they kiss and press their stupid bodies together, they're never going to squeeze a baby out of each other.
00:14:24I'm telling you, it's a joke.
00:14:25And guess who's the only one laughing.
00:14:27>> Satan.
00:14:28>> Satan, that's right.
00:14:30In fact, he makes it happen.
00:14:31>> Hmm?
00:14:33Let's do this.
00:14:38>> [Laughter] >> coach stopframe?
00:14:42>> Oh, hi, orel.
00:14:43>> Whatcha got there?
00:14:44>> Mmm, nothing, just a picture.
00:14:47Oh, hey, orel, do you think that you could get me a little bit of