Arthur - Elwood City Turns 100!   View more episodes

Aired at 03:30 PM on Monday, Sep 20, 2010 (9/20/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:01(crash) MAN: By the authority vested in me, I, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, in the year of Our Lord, 1903, with the direct approval of the committee on towns and cities...
00:00:18Skip to the good part!
00:00:21do hereby declare the area known as Elwood... an official city!
00:00:28(cheering) It was supposed to be "Elmwood." That's what I wrote on the form!
00:00:35And for taking 50 acres of swamp and turning it into a thriving lr town, your good friends J.P. Morgan and Henry Ford have donated this statue of you, our founder, Jacob Katzenellenbogan.
00:00:51OLD MAN: Who's that supposed to be?
00:00:53My name has two Ls in it!
00:00:56And why did you make me so fat?
00:00:58Tear it down.
00:00:59Tear it down!
00:01:00Well, how do you like that, J.P.?
00:01:02Crazy old Jacob founded a city before we did.
00:01:06Mark my words, Henry, in 100 years, no one will know a place called Elwood City ever existed.
00:01:12Robber barons!
00:01:22RATBURN: Exciting news, class!
00:01:23Elwood City is celebrating its centennial in three weeks, and in honor of the occasion, our class was chosen from 15 schools to stage a musical!
00:01:34(all cheer) We won! We won!
00:01:36Hey, wait.
00:01:37Is there going to be a big test at the end of all of this?
00:01:41No, just a big performance.
00:01:44All right, we're doing a musical!
00:01:48Putting on a show isn't easy, Buster.
00:01:51I remember when I did my one-manHamlet with puppets in college.
00:01:55To be or not to be.
00:01:58That is...
00:02:00(audience laughs) the end of the show.
00:02:02Good night, everyone.
00:02:04(whispers): Curtain... curtain.
00:02:07(audience hisses) That performance nearly cost me my perfect Gpa.
00:02:13So we all have to be very focused.
00:02:14To save time, I've written down all the task involved in creating a musical and put them in this hat.
00:02:21You'll choose your role at random.
00:02:24Come on, something good!
00:02:28That doesn't sound very important.
00:02:31On the contrary.
00:02:32A singing narrator will be the glue that holds this story together.
00:02:36It's a very big role.
00:02:39"Chorus member"?
00:02:41But I'm the best singer in class!
00:02:43Why doIget such a small part?
00:02:45There are no small parts, Francine; only small actors.
00:02:49"Writer"-- yes!
00:02:50Finally, a chance to write an accurate historical musical.
00:02:58"Dr. Ector"?
00:03:00Is he the villain?
00:03:02Can I wear a claw?
00:03:03That says "director," Buster.
00:03:07Oh! You mean, I get to decide how everything looks and tell everyone what to do?
00:03:13Uh... sort of.
00:03:15(hoots) This is going to be the weirdest musical ever!
00:03:19(kisses loudly) You could wear a claw if you were in the chorus.
00:03:27MUFFY: Mr. Ratburn?
00:03:28Could I help you with the musical's publicity?
00:03:31Making posters, stuff like that.
00:03:34Hmm, I could use some help.
00:03:36All right, thanks, Muffy.
00:03:39If you just sign this, then we're all set.
00:03:42It's a standard producer's contract just in case the musical moves to Broadway.
00:03:48I think it'll be good, Muffy, but I don't know if it'll bethatgood.
00:03:55One word for you, Brain: Alien invasion.
00:03:59Picture this.
00:04:00The curtain rises, and a giant flying saucer lands on the stage.
00:04:04(makes whirring sound) Then the aliens come out, hundreds of them!
00:04:09They take over the earth!
00:04:11But one kid becomes friends with them...
00:04:14There will be no aliens in my script.
00:04:17Oh, why not?
00:04:18Because this is a historical musical.
00:04:20We have a responsibility to show events that really happened.
00:04:25But I did find some exciting things.
00:04:26Did you know that most of Elwood City used to be swampland filled with green-tailed grebes?
00:04:33Grebes? What are those?
00:04:35Marshland birds of the familyPodicipedidae.
00:04:38Are you putting that in the musical?
00:04:41Sure. Why not?
00:04:42Because it's boring-- that's why.
00:04:45No, it isn't.
00:04:46Anyway, at least it's not some fantasy!
00:04:49What's wrong with fantasy?
00:04:50People love fantasy!
00:04:52They deserve accuracy!
00:04:57(Arthur singing scales off-key) ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
00:05:04TEACHER: Good effort, Arthur, but the narrator has to be pitch perfect.
00:05:09Let's try that A again.
00:05:10(strikes chord) (sings wrong key) No, a little higher, Arthur.
00:05:16Now lower.
00:05:17Excuse me, Ms. Krasny, but can I show him?
00:05:21(smoothly): ♪ La... ♪
00:05:24(class cheers) Like that, Arthur.
00:05:27Thanks a lot.
00:05:28(Arthur singing scales off-key) (howling) I haven't heard such a horrible sound since Alberto and I gave the neighbors' cat a bath.
00:05:39It's like my cow doll with only one battery.
00:05:42Hey, I bet I can sing worse than Arthur!
00:05:45(Arthur continues) No, I can't.
00:05:49♪ La, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
00:05:53(doorbell rings) Let me guess.
00:05:56You came to say that I stink and you should be the narrator.
00:05:59I'm here to help you, but if you're going to be that way...
00:06:04No, wait!
00:06:04Sorry-- come on in.
00:06:06I need all the help I can get.
00:06:21(Arthur singing; Kate crying) (off-key) ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la... ♪
00:06:27(expertly): ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...
00:06:47(electricity zaps) ARTHUR: ♪ And the trees were chopped down for the bustling new town ♪
00:06:53♪ By the women and men employed by Mr. Katzenellenbogan.
00:06:57MS. KRASNY: That was better, but you're still not projecting enough.
00:07:01But I'm singing at the top of my lungs!
00:07:04You sing from your throat, but it should come from your diaphragm, like this.
00:07:09Don't. You'll embarrass me!
00:07:11BINKY: Jenna!
00:07:12You're not chopping on the beat!
00:07:15It's one...
00:07:16and two...
00:07:18and three.
00:07:19Oh, Binky, not again.
00:07:21They take forever to sew.
00:07:23It's not my fault.
00:07:25They're too tight.
00:07:26So why'd you tell me you were a medium?
00:07:29I am a medium!
00:07:30My chinos are medium...
00:07:33What is that?
00:07:33That's Humongatron.
00:07:36I said no aliens!
00:07:38He's not an alien.
00:07:39He's a robot that saves Elwood City from the crab people, and you didn't say anything about that!
00:07:45All right, let's settle down.
00:07:48Class, I said settle down.
00:07:50Mr. Ratburn, can you please look at the guest list for the opening-night party?
00:07:54Michelle Kwan, Yo-Yo Ma, Mr. Rogers!
00:07:59You can't invite Mr. Rogers.
00:08:02I already did.
00:08:03He's so sweet.
00:08:05But we open in one week.
00:08:07Do you really want Mr. Rogers to see this?
00:08:12(set crashing; audience gasping) (quietly): Curtain... curtain.
00:08:24It could happen all over again!
00:08:27They'll pull themselves together.
00:08:29They just need a pep talk.
00:08:31May I?
00:08:32(blows piercing note) We were chosen out of 15 schools to put on this show, but maybe they were wrong to pick us.
00:08:41Maybe they should have picked Mighty Mountain or Glenbrook.
00:08:46After all, would they be arguing?
00:08:48No, they'd be working together-- something we just can't seem to do.
00:08:54I did read there was an alien sighting here in 1952.
00:08:58Probably just a weather balloon, but...
00:09:02Thank you!
00:09:03All right, people, let's take it from the top.
00:09:10That should hold them till opening night.
00:09:12Then we're going to need luck d alca FRANCINE: Don't worry, Arthur.
00:09:19You still have a week.
00:09:21It wouldn't make a difference if I had a year.
00:09:24I just can't sing!
00:09:25I mean, I can sing, but not like you.
00:09:27Francine, would you like to play the narrator?
00:09:32It'd be a much better show with you in that part.
00:09:35And I'd actually like to be in the chorus.
00:09:38You get to have plastic axes.
00:09:40Please, will you do it?
00:09:41Are you sure this is what you really want?
00:09:46Well, okay.
00:09:48Thanks, Francine.
00:09:48You're a great friend.
00:09:52(hoots) Dad, come on, we're already late!
00:09:58I'll be right there.
00:09:58I'm getting directions to George's house.
00:10:10(nervously): Why are photographers here?
00:10:13Oh, they're for Art Garfunkel.
00:10:15Art Garfunkel is coming?
00:10:17No, he's already here.
00:10:22(sighs) I want emotion out there!
00:10:25Remember, you're not justplayinga grebe; youarea grebe!
00:10:31Grebe! Grebe!
00:10:33Where's my flying saucer?
00:10:35Mr. Frensky's bringing it in his garbage truck.
00:10:39It was too heavy for George's car.
00:10:46Can't you go any faster, Dad?
00:10:48Francine, I'm driving the speed limit.
00:10:50But we're 15 minutes behind schedule and...
00:10:59(quacks) You okay?
00:11:02What's that sound?
00:11:03(metal crunching) BOTH: The flying saucer!
00:11:07Buster's going to kill me.
00:11:10Hey, it's just a prop, sport.
00:11:12We'll help them think of something.
00:11:14Let's just get there.
00:11:16Oh, could this night get any worse?
00:11:19(motor starts) (motor stops) (gasps) MR. FRENSKY: Uh... Frankie, we have a problem.
00:11:29KIDS:And now...
00:11:32We've got some very special guests in the studio today.
00:11:36A few of the kids from the Lakewood Elementary School in Elwood City are putting on a musical celebrating the city's 100th anniversary.
00:11:46They are Arthur Read, Buster Baxter, Muffy Crosswire and, of course, the Brain.
00:11:52Welcome to you all.
00:11:53Thanks for having us on the show, Larry.
00:11:56Tell me about the musical.
00:11:58Who thought it up?
00:11:59Well, I wrote it...
00:12:01But we came up with ideas together.
00:12:04Is it easy working together?
00:12:06Do you like it?
00:12:07Oh, yeah. We love it.
00:12:08We're a team.
00:12:09We listen to each other.
00:12:10Except they wouldn't let me have my robot.
00:12:14Your robot?
00:12:15Oh, it was going to be so cool.
00:12:17The aliens were going to invade, and then this robot was coming out...
00:12:22It didn't make any sense.
00:12:23It was your craziest idea.
00:12:25Guys, this is live TV, remember?
00:12:28MUFFY: You know, Larry, I don't know what your agreement with the network is, but I've recently started my own production company, and we could really use someone of your caliber.
00:12:37I appreciate it, but...
00:12:39I'll throw in a used car.
00:12:40I'm afraid we're out of time.
00:12:41Thanks for being on the show, and good luck with your musical.
00:12:45Hi, Mom, hi, Dad, hi, D.W.
00:12:47D.W.: Hi!
00:12:50What are you doing here?
00:12:51You have to get back to the musical.
00:12:54It's about to start.
00:12:55Oh, yeah, and Francine is still missing.
00:12:57She's the narrator.
00:12:58D.W.-- what does that stand for?
00:13:01I don't like to talk about it.
00:13:03Are you really a king?
00:13:05Where's your castle?
00:13:05Are there unicorns in your castle?
00:13:07Thanks for tuning in, folks.
00:13:10And now, back toArthur.
00:13:14D.W.: Are you sure we've come to the right place?
00:13:18Nothing's happening.
00:13:19Just relax, D.W.
00:13:20Shows always start a little late.
00:13:23DAD: Not this late!
00:13:26Still no sign of Francine!
00:13:28We've got to do something.
00:13:31Arthur, you have to be the narrator.
00:13:33Me? Why me?
00:13:35You know all the lines.
00:13:35You only traded parts with Francine last week.
00:13:39But I can't sing!
00:13:41The narrator doesn't sing in the first number.
00:13:43And by the time it ends, Francine will probably be here.
00:13:45No. I can't do it.
00:13:46I don't have my bow tie, I don't have my suspenders.
00:13:49RATBURN: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
00:13:52(clears throat) (clears throat) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Lakewood Elementary's presentation ofOh, Elwood!
00:14:05We kindly request that you refrain from using flash photography, turn off all cell phones and take this time to unwrap any candy or lozenges.
00:14:14(eating loudly) RATBURN: Thank you.
00:14:20Hi, Arthur!
00:14:21D.W.! Shh! (laughter) (with Southern drawl): Howdy!
00:14:25This here's the story about a place ya'll know called Elwood City.
00:14:29But what you may not know is, it wasn't always a city.
00:14:34Once, it was just miles and miles of trees.
00:14:39(piano begins playing lily tun) ALL: ♪ The valley all around us was nothin' but wood ♪
00:14:43♪ The trees were ripe for cuttin' ♪
00:14:45♪ The timber was good ♪
00:14:46♪ To chop, to stump and stub, a man known as Jacob... ♪
00:14:53♪ Katzenellenbogan, a lumber tycoon ♪
00:14:55♪ Built a busy sawmill beside a lagoon ♪
00:14:58♪ Soon wood chips filled the air and got in people's hair ♪
00:15:03♪ Axes gleamed, horses teemed ♪
00:15:07♪ Chop, chop, chop, timber! ♪
00:15:12♪ Jacob Katzenellenbogan ♪
00:15:14♪ Founded Elwood... ♪
00:15:15♪ Founded Elwood... ♪
00:15:16♪ Elwood City... ♪
00:15:17♪ Elwood City. ♪
00:15:18♪ So I went a-hikin' to find a good spot ♪
00:15:22♪ A place to build a mansion ♪
00:15:23♪ A heavenly plot... ♪ (cell phone rings) Hello.
00:15:27Where are you?
00:15:28We've already started.
00:15:31Oh, I see.
00:15:32Just get here as quick as you can.
00:15:36Was that Francine?
00:15:36Is she coming?
00:15:37The garbage truck broke down.
00:15:40They're hitching a ride.
00:15:41What about the flying saucer?
00:15:43You better sit down.
00:15:46♪ Houses multiplied... ♪
00:15:50♪ Jacob Katzenellenbogan ♪
00:15:52♪ Founded Elwood, founded Elwood ♪
00:15:54♪ Elwood City, Elwood City ♪
00:15:56♪ Jacob Katzenellenbogan! ♪
00:15:58But I wanted it to be called Elmwood!
00:16:03Darn bureaucracy.
00:16:05(applause and laughter) But wait!
00:16:07Not everyone was happy that Elwood had become a city.
00:16:12When the forest was cut down, the beautiful green-tailed grebe had lost her home.
00:16:17What's that?
00:16:18A grebe.
00:16:20What's a grebe?
00:16:21TIMMY: That's just Fern wearing a lot of feathers.
00:16:26Use your imagination.
00:16:28I am using it.
00:16:28I'm imagining I have more candy.
00:16:32♪ Taste the salty tears we "weeb" ♪
00:16:36♪ For the long-lost green-tailed grebe ♪
00:16:41♪ Our sorrows run so very "deeb" ♪
00:16:44♪ For the long-lost green-tailed grebe. ♪
00:16:51ARTHUR: I think it's going really w Yeah.
00:16:54Now if only the flying saucer would get here...
00:16:58Don't hold your breath.
00:17:00It was smashed to bits in the back of Francine's garbage truck.
00:17:03Does Buster know?
00:17:05He's locked himself in the janitor's closet.
00:17:10RATBURN: Buster, open this door right now.
00:17:12You're behaving very unprofessionally.
00:17:15BUSTER: I don't care.
00:17:16I'm not a professional.
00:17:18Come on! Buster! We need you!
00:17:22(gasps) Fern's scene is almost finished!
00:17:26What are we going to do?
00:17:27I'll just have to write the flying saucer out.
00:17:30Hand me those napkins.
00:17:32What about Francine?
00:17:32The narrator's singing part is coming up.
00:17:35Don't worry, she's on her way.
00:17:37MAN: Yes, sir, this baby's a one-of-a-kind classic.
00:17:42She may not be a speed demon, but she gets great mileage.
00:17:48(tires screech) (chuckling): A duck.
00:17:53Go on, sweetie, take your time.
00:17:56♪ While lumberjacks were tickled pink ♪
00:18:00♪ The green-tailed grebe, she went extinct.
00:18:06(song ends) ARTHUR: Over the past 100 years, Elwood City has grown bigger and bigger, and we've had visitors from all over the world.
00:18:22Some say we may have even had visitors from outside this world.
00:18:27The year is 1952.
00:18:32JENNA: Dear me.
00:18:33Look how high the corn has grown this summer.
00:18:37BINKY: Yes.
00:18:38It is a bumper crop.
00:18:40(feigns barking) What is it, boy?
00:18:44Gee whillikers.
00:18:44Is that a flying saucer in the sky?
00:18:48No, Bobby, that is not a flying saucer.
00:18:51It is probably just a natural phenomenon, such as ball lightning, a rare form of lightning, in which a persistent and moving luminous sphere can travel...
00:19:07It was going to be the best part of the show.
00:19:10Now no one will ever...
00:19:12BINKY: It is simply a misperception...
00:19:14Hey, they're going on without me!
00:19:21BINKY: Or it could be a weather balloon...
00:19:23(woman yawns) or another type of conventional aircraft, or...
00:19:30BUSTER: Or it's a real alien.
00:19:34(laughter) ARTHUR: Buster, what are you doing?!
00:19:39Who is this Buster you speak of?
00:19:43I am...
00:19:44Dr. Ector.
00:19:46Behold my claw.
00:19:48I come from the planet...
00:19:52Korn and have traveled millions of miles to deliver this important message to you, which will be sung to the tune you earthlings call "Yankee Doodle." (playing intro) ♪ Dr. Ector came to Earth ♪
00:20:08♪ In a flying saucer ♪
00:20:09♪ Had a message to deliver: ♪
00:20:12♪ Be a... ♪
00:20:13♪ Be a frequent flosser. ♪
00:20:14♪ Floss your teeth every night, floss your teeth all day ♪
00:20:18♪ If you floss your teeth with all your might ♪
00:20:21♪ You won't have tooth decay. ♪
00:20:24(grunting) (gasping) (kids shouting) (laughter) There will now be a brief intermission.
00:20:33Curtain... curtain!
00:20:35(laughter and applause) Buster, what were you thinking?
00:20:40Ow! Let go of my horn.
00:20:42I had to do something, Brain.
00:20:44People were falling asleep out there.
00:20:46You didn't have to destroy the set.
00:20:48GEORGE: Aren't we supposed to use this in the last number, Mr. Ratburn?
00:20:53Um, yes.
00:20:54We'll just have to improvise.
00:20:58You're right, Brain.
00:20:59I did ruin everything.
00:21:01I'm such a failure.
00:21:02If anybody wants me, I'll be in the janitor's closet.
00:21:07It's my fault.
00:21:09That stuff I wrote about ball lightning wasreally boring.
00:21:13You two are lucky.
00:21:14I still have to sing.
00:21:16And I bet the audience thought the show couldn't get any worse.
00:21:19MUFFY: Couldn't we just end it now, Mr. Ratburn?
00:21:21I've already done enough damage to my producing career.
00:21:26FRANCINE: End the show?
00:21:27Are you crazy?
00:21:28ALL: Francine!
00:21:29Sorry I'm late.
00:21:29The streets were crawling with ducks.
00:21:32Well, you haven't missed much-- just the worst third-grade musical ever.
00:21:37That's not what they think.
00:21:39(laughter) Great!
00:21:41(laughter) And when he came out with that thing on his head, I thought I was going to die laughing.
00:21:47I'm really impressed.
00:21:48It's got humor, interesting facts, that very poetic piece about the bird.
00:21:53I liked when the monster tore a hole in the wall.
00:21:57Was he a grebe?
00:21:58He had feathers.
00:21:58Come on, guys, we've got a show to do.
00:22:03(slow tune begins playing) ♪ Oh, Elwood City, so proud, so bold ♪
00:22:10♪ Now you are 100 years old ♪
00:22:14♪ What were dark forests, bogs and fens ♪
00:22:17♪ Is now called home by us children ♪
00:22:21♪ I lift my head and sing to thee ♪
00:22:25♪ Oh, Elwood, Elwood, Elwood City. ♪
00:22:32Hey, you've told us what Elwood City was like in the past, but what's it like today?
00:22:38Today things are a little different.
00:22:40Watch out, coming through.
00:22:42Hey, how do you do?
00:22:42Hey, Buster, want to get a snack?
00:22:46You have to ask?
00:22:48(music playing) ALL: ♪ Slurping shakes at the Sugar Bowl ♪
00:22:50♪ The crossing guard is on patrol ♪
00:22:53♪ Soccer games... ♪
00:22:55♪ Hey, I scored a goal! ♪
00:22:56ALL: ♪ That's Elwood City! ♪
00:22:59♪ Reading books at the library ♪
00:23:01♪ Our clubhouse is in a tree ♪
00:23:03♪ Had a comet named after me. ♪
00:23:06ALL: ♪ That's Elwood City! ♪
00:23:08♪ When the ice storm blew in, our prospects looked grim ♪
00:23:13♪ We were filled with hunger and fear...
00:23:15ALL: ♪ But we got together ♪
00:23:17♪ And battled the weather ♪
00:23:18♪ With stories, cocoa and cheer... ♪
00:23:21♪ Just like pioneers! ♪
00:23:23ALL: ♪ Baseball games with Mighty Mountain ♪
00:23:25♪ Lost a lot, but we're not countin'... ♪
00:23:28♪ Hey, don't hog the water fountain. ♪
00:23:31ALL: ♪ That's Elwood City! ♪
00:23:32♪ Picnics for all sons and fathers... ♪
00:23:36♪ Hey, I just met Mr. Rogers... ♪
00:23:38♪ Crosswire Motors has super deals... ♪
00:23:41♪ The ice cream shop serves gummy eels. ♪
00:23:46♪ All clues point in one direction... ♪