Friends - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt   View more episodes

Aired at 06:30 PM on Saturday, Jan 30, 2010 (1/30/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:02As my lover.
00:00:07All right.
00:00:07Let's go shopping.
00:00:08You know, before we go, there's something I need to say.
00:00:12Oh, okay.
00:00:16I've kind of had ..
00:00:18This crush on you, but since you were with ross, I didn't do anything about it but now that you're not, I'd really like to ask you out sometime.
00:00:34(loud crashing) ♪ So no one told you life was gonnae this way ♪
00:00:47♪ your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
00:00:51♪ it's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
00:00:56♪ when it hasn't been your day ♪
00:00:58♪ your week, your month, or even your year ♪
00:01:02♪ but I'll be there for you ♪
00:01:05♪ 'cause you're there ♪
00:02:15so, you know, that's why, within a few years, voice recognition is going to be standard on any computer you buy.
00:02:20So you can be like, " it's not going to be able to do any of those things, but it will understand what you're saying.
00:02:30Oh, this is so great.
00:02:32Yeah, it was.
00:02:35All right, then.
00:02:42Ross: Hey, how'd the date go with mr. millionaire?
00:02:45 millionaire, new from snooty playthings.
00:02:49" he's great.
00:02:53We have such a good time together.
00:02:56He's so funny and so sweet and I'mnotattracted to him at all.
00:03:03It's driving me crazy.
00:03:04In every other way, he's like the perfect guy.
00:03:07He has everything.
00:03:08Plus, he actually haseverything.
00:03:10Life-sized imperial storm troopers from sharper image?
00:03:16 can joey and i put them on and fight?
00:03:21Oh, mommy!
00:03:22Oh, daddy!
00:03:24I am a big old baddie!
00:03:26Oh, mommy!
00:03:27Oh, daddy!
00:03:28I am a big old baddie!
00:03:32I guess he must have gotten the part in that play.
00:03:36Yeah, either that, or gloria estefan was right.
00:03:38Eventually, the rhythm isgoing to get you.
00:03:46Joe, how's it going?
00:03:54Oh, so you're playing adrienne, huh?
00:03:57 are you one of the retarded cousins?
00:04:01 I'm playing your husband, victor.
00:04:04I'm joey tribbiani.
00:04:05Hi. nice to meet you.
00:04:06Kate miller.
00:04:14So, the play's pretty great, huh?
00:04:16 I love jennifer banberry's work.
00:04:18She's so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the american middle class.
00:04:23Forget about it.
00:04:24She rocks.
00:04:30Where do i know you from?
00:04:34Dr. drake ramoray?
00:04:37Days of our lives?
00:04:39Voted most dateable neurosurgeon byteen beat?
00:04:42No, that's not it.
00:04:48For the milk carton spout thing.
00:04:50You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk.
00:04:54See, I actually canpour milk but I got you believing that I couldn't.
00:04:59Now, see, that's acting.
00:05:00Right, and at the end, you choked on a cookie.
00:05:03Yeah. that was real.
00:05:07 I cannot believe mark asked you out.
00:05:10I know.
00:05:11So what are you going to tell him?
00:05:13Well, I told him I would think about it, but I'm going to tell him no.
00:05:17Phoebe: Huh.
00:05:18I think I'd say no to anybody right now.
00:05:24Oh, but it was so strange.
00:05:26I mean, I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy who's asking me to go out with him-- which I am allowed to do-- and I felt guilty, you know like I'd be cheating on ross or something.
00:05:38 so, okay, maybe that means that you're not over ross yet and you have issues with your father.
00:05:48I don't have any issues with my father.
00:05:50Okay, so it's probably just the ross thing then.
00:05:55I hate this woman.
00:05:55I hate her!
00:05:57She told everyone in the company about that infomercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks, okay, and whenever I can't do it ..
00:06:05Like laughing at me.
00:06:10Both: Hey!
00:06:12So rachel called.
00:06:15Wants to see me.
00:06:16Going over in a minute.
00:06:19 what do you think she wants?
00:06:21Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realizes that life without me sucks.
00:06:28It's possible.
00:06:29You are very loveable.
00:06:31I'd miss you if i broke up with you.
00:06:35I'm just trying to be supportive.
00:06:37Well, be supportive like a guy.
00:06:39(deep voice If I broke up with you, I'd miss you.
00:06:49.. wanted to see me?
00:06:57Uh, here's a box of your stuff.
00:07:02You know, it's just, like, HATS AND SHIRT AND CDs.
00:07:05Just sort of stuff you've left here.
00:07:08What are you doing?
00:07:09Are you trying to hurt me or something?
00:07:17It just seems that, you know, it's time we move on.
00:07:21I mean, don't you think?
00:07:26Yes, I do.
00:07:28Yeah, i-ireallydo.
00:07:31.. this was a gift.
00:07:34Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
00:07:38It's still a gift.
00:07:40I got it from thegiftshop.
00:07:42Okay. all right.
00:07:44Give me the mug.
00:07:45I'll keep the mug.
00:07:46 you know, don't do me any favors.
00:07:50Where's the rest of my stuff?
00:07:54.. hey!
00:07:56This book is mine!
00:07:58And-and-and and that t-shirt you sleep in, I'd like that back, too.
00:08:03Yes, I do.
00:08:05You know how much I love that t-shirt.
00:08:08You never even wear that t-shirt.
00:08:09I'm just trying to help you move on.
00:08:13Oh, you are a petty man.
00:08:24You are so just doing this out of spite.
00:08:27Uh-uh. no, no, no.
00:08:28I'm going to wear this all the time.
00:08:31I love this shirt.
00:08:32You have not worn that t-shirt since you were 15.
00:08:34It doesn't even fit you anymore.
00:08:36Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:08:37(deep voice): Yeah, yeah.
00:08:39Oh, okay, okay.
00:08:51Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take the rest of my stuff andrelax in my favorite shirt.
00:09:02You have a pleasant evening.
00:09:13So you're, like, a zillionaire?
00:09:16And you're our age, you'reourage.
00:09:19You know what?
00:09:20You should, like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
00:09:24Like pete dakota?
00:09:26(laughing) Or mississipete.
00:09:31Oh, oh, I got it.
00:09:32Pete chicago.
00:09:35That's not a state, joe.
00:09:37Oh, and mississipete is?
00:09:41I got to go.
00:09:42So, I'll see you guys later.
00:09:45All: Okay.
00:09:49So, we on for tomorrow?
00:09:54Now get out of here, you.
00:10:00Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him.
00:10:04Is there something wrong with me?
00:10:06Why am I only attracted to guys where there's no future?
00:10:09Either they're too old or they're too young and then there's pete .. he's crazy about me and he's absolutely perfect and there's like zip going on.
00:10:17Seriously, does it sound like there's something wrong with me?
00:10:20Yeah. kind of.
00:10:24 is that what I'm supposed to be, vic?
00:10:28Why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be, huh?
00:10:31Because I sure as hell can't figure it out.
00:10:33I talk to you and nothing.
00:10:35You look at me and it's nothing.
00:10:43Mmm, tasty.
00:10:47I'm really starting to feel like you guys have a history.
00:10:51It's nice.
00:10:51I have a question about this scene.
00:10:55Well, I don't understand why adrienne's attracted to victor.
00:10:58Peel the onion.
00:11:00First of all, he's good-looking.
00:11:04I think my character's going to need a little bit more of a reason than that.
00:11:08Hey, how about this one-- uh, it says so in the script!
00:11:13You know, I don't know why my character likes you, either.
00:11:16I mean, it says in the script here that you're a bitch.
00:11:19It doesn't say that in the script.
00:11:21It does in mine.
00:11:25Chandler: I can blow dry it.
00:11:27I can put gel on it.
00:11:27It doesn't matter.
00:11:28I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head.
00:11:33It's so annoying.
00:11:35Does it bug you?
00:11:36You bug me.
00:11:49Is there any chance youdidn'tsee that?
00:12:55asthmafor 6 years.
00:12:57I've hadasthma forever.
00:12:58I never knew why my asthmasymptoms kept coming ..
00:13:00...Kept coming back...
00:13:01...Or that I could help preventthem in the first place.
00:13:05...Was treating only 1 maincause of asthma symptoms.
00:13:09But there are 2.
00:13:10Airway constriction.
00:13:12And inflammation.
00:13:13Unlikemost controllers, advair treatsboth main causes.
00:13:17Advair treatsboth main causes.
00:13:21And that helps pprevent symptoms in the pfirst place.
00:13:25Salmeterol may increasethe chance of asthma-related death.
00:13:27So advair is not for asthma that's well controlled on another controller medicine.
00:13:31Advair will not replace fast-acting inhalers ..
00:13:35...And should not be takenmore than twice a day.
00:13:36Talk to your doctor about therisks and benefits of advair.
00:13:40If you take advair,see your doctor if your asthma does notimprove or gets worse.
00:13:45...Ask your doctor how to help prevent them with advair.
00:13:48(announcer) GET YOUR FIRST PRESCRIPTION FREE And save on refills.
00:13:53Now you know.
00:13:54Yoyou got to stop.
00:13:55You can't just stare through the peephole for three hours.
00:14:01You're going to get peep eye.
00:14:04I knew it. I knew it.
00:14:05I always knew she liked him.
00:14:06She'd say no, but here we are, right?
00:14:08We just broke up, ..
00:14:12You didn'tjustbreak up.
00:14:13Hey, it's been, like, three weeks.
00:14:15You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up.
00:14:19I mean, bullets have left guns slower.
00:14:22Shh, shh, shh.
00:14:23Here they come.
00:14:24Oh, if she kisses him good night, I'm going to kill myself, I swear.
00:14:30Come on.
00:14:30Date over.
00:14:31Date over.
00:14:32Oh, oh. here we go.
00:14:34She's going in.
00:14:36She's going in.
00:14:38He's going in.
00:14:40He's going in.
00:14:42The door's closed.
00:14:43I can't see anything with the door closed.
00:14:45And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
00:14:49 I have to do something.
00:14:51I mean, I have to stop it.
00:14:52Stop what?
00:14:52I don't know.
00:14:53But I have a feeling my being there will do it.
00:14:56I'll go over and I will borrow something.
00:15:00I need juice.
00:15:01No, you can't.
00:15:03Look, they must be stopped.
00:15:05I am your friend, and I am not going to let you do this.
00:15:08You are surprisingly strong.
00:15:11I need juice.
00:15:12People need juice!
00:15:14People need juice!
00:15:16Listen to me.
00:15:20She's moving on, okay?
00:15:21If it's not this guy, it's going to be somebody else.
00:15:25Unless you're thinking about subletting my peephole, you'll have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over.
00:15:32Okay, man?
00:15:33It's over.
00:15:37Yeah. okay.
00:15:40It's just I miss her so much.
00:15:44I know.
00:15:47Why do all your coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom?
00:15:50Oh, that's so monica can keep track.
00:15:53That way if one of them's missing she can be, like, " (chuckles) (sighs) You know what?
00:16:06No, and I don't think I'm going to want to.
00:16:09I can't do this.
00:16:10 that's what I didn't want to know.
00:16:13 oh, mark, I'm just doing this for the wrong reasons, you know?
00:16:17I'm just doing it to get back at ross.
00:16:20I'm sorry.
00:16:21It's not very fair to you.
00:16:24Ah, fair shmair, you know?
00:16:26Look, you want to get back at ross, I am here for you.
00:16:32No, no.
00:16:33I say we get back at him right here on this couch.
00:16:36Right here.
00:16:37Oh, god.
00:16:40I'm sorry about this.
00:16:44That's okay.
00:16:48Are you sure?
00:16:51I can just go home and get back at him by myself.
00:16:57Woman: ...Poised to become the penicillin of the 21st century.
00:17:01And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution.
00:17:09Can I ask you something?
00:17:15Where are we?
00:17:15Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I'm going to say midget rodeo.
00:17:22Just tell me the truth.
00:17:29You know, i-i don't think I told you this but I just recently got out of a really serious relationship.
00:17:36Wasn't that a year ago?
00:17:40So I did tell you.
00:17:41 well, you know, that's not really the thing.
00:17:44The thing is, is that right now I'm just in a place in my life where I just need to focus on me.
00:17:49Do you know what I mean?
00:17:50Oh, yeah. I know.
00:17:53I so want to be attracted ..
00:17:55But you're not.
00:17:57Okay. good.
00:17:58I'm sorry.
00:18:01You know what?
00:18:02Don't be.
00:18:04Don't be, 'cause it's not so bad.
00:18:07It's not?
00:18:08I know I'm no ..
00:18:12Or someone you find attractive.
00:18:16.. I just think, you know, that you might end up feeling differently.
00:18:24Now, look, I don't want this to come out wrong but, uh, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasn't attracted to.
00:18:32 stupidly charming, isn't it?
00:18:36You want to get something to eat?
00:18:38'Cause this place is kind of dee-pressing.
00:18:40And now the man who made ..
00:18:44Mr. peter becker.
00:18:47One sec.
00:18:55I don't think this town is big enough for the both of us to relax in.
00:19:07I wasn't doing anything.
00:19:15Uh-oh. what did she do now?
00:19:17Just because she went toyaledrama she thinks she's, like, ..
00:19:23Since sliced bread.
00:19:25Ah, sliced bread, a wonderful lady macbeth.
00:19:29.. I hate her.
00:19:30I hate her with her, "oh, I'm so talented" and, "ooh, I'm so pretty" " I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
00:19:40Chandler, can we please try and stay focused on my problem here, you know?
00:19:44I'm talking about you, you big, big freak.
00:19:50you're out of your mind.
00:19:53You have done nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours.
00:19:55If you were in a schoolyard, you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now.
00:20:01Oh, yeah?
00:20:02Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff, huh?
00:22:13Is that what I'm supposed to be, vic? happy?
00:22:15Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be because I sure as hell can't figure it out.
00:22:21I talk to you and it's nothing.
00:22:23You look at me and nothing.
00:22:52We're going to pick it up here tomorrow.
00:22:59Yeah, yeah.
00:23:00It was definitely ..
00:23:04Good night.
00:23:05Uh, kate.
00:23:07You forgot your shoes.
00:23:10(nervous laughter) I'm probably going to need those, huh?
00:23:15(laughing) ..
00:23:21Feel like getting a cup of coffee?
00:23:27You ready to go?
00:23:30Very nice.
00:23:31Very nice.
00:23:36See you tomorrow, huh?
00:23:38Yeah, yeah. sure.
00:23:40Good night.
00:23:54Why isn't it spiderman?
00:23:56You know, like goldman, silverman?
00:23:59'Cause it's-it's not his last name.
00:24:02It isn't?
00:24:03Like phil spiderman.
00:24:13You know, like, uh, like goldman is a last name but there's nogold-man.
00:24:20Oh. oh, okay.
00:24:22There should be a gold-man.
00:24:27Monica: Hey, rach.
00:24:28By the way, ross dropped by a box of your stuff.
00:24:31 well, I guess I had that one coming.
00:24:33I'm just going to throw it out.
00:24:35It's probably just a ..
00:24:39Something wrong?
00:24:49.. no, nothing.
00:25:29(announcer) damage from icy wind and drying heat?
00:25:32Get pantene restoratives ..
00:25:35Start at the core and help replenish moisture.
00:25:37No winter static cover-up here!
00:25:39Plus, the "total hair satisfaction guarantee" ..
00:25:44Or we'll switch you back to your old shampoo or conditioner.
00:25:49And know, even leading salon brands can't beat this breakage protection!
00:25:54Restoratives from pantene.
00:25:56Healthy makes it happen.
00:27:51Nsideration forfriendsprovided by: ..
00:28:12What kind of powers would gold-man have?
00:28:14 well, he would turn things to gold.
00:28:18What about things that are already gold?
00:28:21Ah, his work is done.
00:28:23Okay. let's play my game now.
00:28:27Why, you yellow-bellied, ..
00:28:31Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH Phoebe: Yeah, it's fun.