Hannah Montana - Smells Like Teen Sellout   View more episodes

Aired at 11:30 PM on Sunday, Nov 29, 2009 (11/29/2009)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:00Hey, why don't you just use the fake one?
00:00:02It is only filled with water.
00:00:04[Gasps] lola, you're a genius.
00:00:06I am, aren't i?
00:00:11The circle.
00:00:14I've never smelled anything-- like it before.
00:00:21That was great. that was perfect.
00:00:22I know. I've done it again.
00:00:24Oh! you and I were brilliant.
00:00:29You're still a plate of grits.
00:00:31 I'm done with this commercial, and I never have to smell that perfume again.
00:00:35[Sniffs] you're wearing it, aren't you?
00:00:41Yes. I like it.
00:00:42It doesn't matter. you can't keep it.
00:00:44I won't wear it around you!
00:00:46Darn right you won't!
00:00:47You're not the boss of me! hey! let go!
00:00:54You don't look so good.
00:00:58Coming out of my tummy!
00:01:00Everybody clear!
00:01:03♪♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh ♪♪
00:01:05♪♪ whoa ♪♪
00:01:07[bell dings] miley.
00:01:09It's been a half hour.
00:01:10If that tomato juice was gonna get rid of the smell, it would have worked by now.
00:01:16You're right. this is getting ridiculous.
00:01:20 you passed ridiculous when you took that bath in tuna fish.
00:01:25Hey, it said it would work on some stink website.
00:01:27I should've backed out of the commercial the minute I smelled that perfume.
00:01:32Now I smell worse than uncle earl after he was drilling for oil and hit that sewage pipe.
00:01:37Ok, if I haven't said this before-- I don't ever wanna meet uncle earl.
00:01:42Uncle earl's not that bad.
00:01:43The one you don't wanna meet is aunt max.
00:01:46Talk about your bearded lady.
00:01:48Anyhow, honey, I found this old bag of kitty litter out in the garage.
00:01:51Supposed to activate when you scratch it.
00:01:53Might be worth a shot.
00:01:56Dad, it isn't funny.
00:01:57You didn't see what I went through.
00:01:59I'm sorry, honey. I was a little busy.
00:02:01Yeah, hiding from liposuction liza.
00:02:03I wasn't hiding.
00:02:04I just got stuck trying to get out the bathroom window.
00:02:07I'm sorry. that lady's just plain weird.
00:02:15♪♪ She's not the only one ♪♪
00:02:17dad, I'm about to make you proud.
00:02:20You're gonna go back upstairs and change?
00:02:22No. I'm gonna make an audition tape.
00:02:24You're looking at the next million dollar winner ofteen wilderness challenge.
00:02:29I love that show!
00:02:31Last night the girl from pittsburgh had to eat a live millipede.
00:02:34Yeah, poor kid had 900 legs down her before that little critter hung a left and went out her nostril.
00:02:41Jackson, you wouldn't last one day onteen wilderness challenge.
00:02:45Oh, yeah? check it out.
00:02:47[Fly buzzing] hyah!
00:02:53[Buzzing stops] [fly buzzing] I like to throw the little ones back.
00:03:04It's the way of the hunter.
00:03:12My name is jackson rod stewart, and I'm your next teen wilderness champion.
00:03:17You get a lot of audition tapes with people telling you what they're going to do.
00:03:22Well, I'm gonna show ya.
00:03:28I'm gonna survive for the next 2 weeks on this beach, my only tools-- these, and this, and a whole lot of this.
00:03:39 and these, too, but that doesn't really count 'cause I always use those.
00:03:43Anyway, I'm gonna be completely isolated from all of civilization.
00:03:51Oh, honey, get away from the strange man.
00:03:55Hey, you can edit that out, right?
00:03:58Sure, but I don't get it.
00:03:59You didn't bring any food.
00:04:00How are you going to survive out here?
00:04:01Off the land, man.
00:04:03Nature's bounty is abundant.
00:04:05Hey, now shoot this.
00:04:06I'm gonna go up that tree and get some coconuts for dinner.
00:04:10Hey. get in tight on my bear tooth.
00:04:13It lets 'em know that I'm a warrior.
00:04:22Hey! double "o"! I got two of 'em.
00:04:27Are you ok?
00:04:31..the coconuts.
00:04:35Dad. I need to talk to you about something.
00:04:38Hang on, bud.
00:04:39I'm watching your brother.
00:04:41He's been trying to open up a coconut for over half an hour.
00:04:51I know. edit it out.
00:04:54I don't know why I pay for cable when I got a son like him.
00:04:59So what's on your mind, bud?
00:05:00Daddy, is there any way that you can call the oh, wow people and have them stop that commercial from going on the air?
00:05:05This thing's really eating at you, isn't it?
00:05:07Yeah, and that perfume makes me sick.
00:05:09How can I go tell the world that I love it?
00:05:11Well, if that's how you feel, then I'll call the company and we'll put a stop to this thing right now.
00:05:15Thanks, dad. that's a load off.
00:05:17Now cheer yourself up.
00:05:18Take a look at your brother.
00:05:23Wow. that's gotta hurt.
00:05:27But you're right. it did cheer me up.
00:05:29[Doorbell rings] and so does knowing that hannah isn't gonna lie to the whole world.
00:05:37Delivery from oh, wow perfume.
00:05:39I hope it's muffins.
00:05:42I love it when they send those little teeny-tiny muffins with those little chocolate chips in 'em and icing on the top-- dad.
00:05:51Just bring it in.
00:05:52Uh, yeah, I don't think it'll fit through the door.
00:05:56I was hoping for muffins.
00:06:07"You wowed us. hope this wows you.
00:06:09" ..
00:06:13It's beautiful.
00:06:14Yep. too bad we gotta send it back.
00:06:17Say what?
00:06:18Hey, mile, they're not gonna let us keep it once you back out of that commercial.
00:06:21The only thing I'm backing out of is this driveway in my sweet new ride.
00:06:28Now hold your horses.
00:06:29I thought you said you couldn't stand the smell of that perfume.
00:06:41Ooh, those little chocolate chip ones.
00:06:43Mmm. mmm.
00:10:27♪♪ Ooh ooh ♪♪
00:10:28♪♪ whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪♪
00:10:31man, this car handles like a dream.
00:10:34She really hugs the road.
00:10:36[Fan buzzing] just think, one day you'll have your permit and you can really drive this thing.
00:10:41I know.
00:10:43Selling out was the best thing you ever did.
00:10:46I didn't sell out.
00:10:47 you did a commercial saying you love something that makes you want to yak.
00:10:54Ok. maybe a little.
00:10:56But everybody exaggerates in commercials.
00:10:58I mean, do you really think that football player's mom follows him around with a can of soup?
00:11:04Doubt it.
00:11:06Hey, miley. oh, wow people just called.
00:11:08You still sure about going through with this?
00:11:11[Honks horn] " ok, then. congratulations.
00:11:16Tomorrow night you're gonna be telling people how much you love the sweet smell of oh, wow onthe real deal with collin lassiter.
00:11:24Collin lassiter?
00:11:25That's the biggest interview show on tv.
00:11:28Yep. I know, bud.
00:11:29Hey, there's still time to pull the plug if you want to.
00:11:34I mean, you do what you feel is right.
00:11:37I'm just gonna sit here ..
00:11:42Lilly, don't worry.
00:11:44Our car is not going anywhere.
00:11:46You tell collin I'll be there.
00:11:48Ok, then. I'll go make the call.
00:11:51Oh! I am so proud of you!
00:11:53I could never go in front of the whole world and lie.
00:11:58When I tell my dad I finished my homework when I haven't, I start giggling like an idiot.
00:12:02Well, that's the difference between me and you.
00:12:05I can go on collin's show and say that i love oh, wow.
00:12:09[Giggles] what was that?
00:12:13Nothing. I just thought of something funny.
00:12:14It's not like I was laughing 'cause I was lying.
00:12:17[Laughs] ..you did this to me.
00:12:29After a 6-hour hunt, I finally bagged this beauty.
00:12:39And 2 minutes.
00:12:41And now I will start my own fire and cook my feast.
00:12:52Though you gave me a fierce battle, ..
00:12:58In the end, your primitive little brain was no match for mine.
00:13:03Oh, man.
00:13:05But where'd he go?
00:13:10Don't worry. it's erased.
00:13:12But I think you should know at this point we only have 27 seconds ofusablefootage.
00:13:18Who cares about footage? I'm starving!
00:13:21Tell me about it!
00:13:21Remember, we're going through this together.
00:13:24You and me. side by side.
00:13:27Living on nothing but-- pizza delivery for oliver oken.
00:13:31Right here, dude.
00:13:33Oliver, you're brilliant.
00:13:35Hey, give me a slice.
00:13:38I can't do that, man.
00:13:39 I'll give you 3 puka shells and these magic fire sticks.
00:13:45Jackson! get a grip.
00:13:46You're stronger than this!
00:13:48Sure, I could give you this pizza and you could stuff your face with the pepperoni and the sausage and the cheesy filled crust, but you don't wanna do that!
00:13:58I don't? no.
00:13:59You're ateen wilderness champion.
00:14:01You got--you got this, and a whole lot of this, and all the other stuff.
00:14:07Sure wish I could be more like you.
00:14:11But I'm weak.
00:14:12That's why I'm gonna eat this in my tent.
00:14:16You go ahead!
00:14:18I don't need your stinkin' pizza!
00:14:22I've got rock grass. huh?
00:14:23And--and--and seaweed and fresh air and nature's very own moonlight.
00:14:28Woman on TV: Coming up on channel 24 weather, freak thunderstorms along the coast.
00:14:33We might even see some hail.
00:14:35[Thunder] I can do this.
00:14:40I can do this. ha!
00:14:41I'm ateen wilderness champion.
00:14:43I am ateen wilderness champion!
00:14:47Who got a splinter.
00:14:52The blood of a warrior.
00:14:59[Grunting] [thunder] man, that rain's really coming down out there.
00:15:08I hope jackson's ok.
00:15:15[Whistling] [whistling] what in tarnation?
00:15:47[Jackson howling] ♪♪ ooh, yeah ♪♪
00:15:55thanks, that's good.
00:15:56Hannah, I just want you to remember this.
00:16:00Whatever happens out here, I love you.
00:16:02And I really love that car.
00:16:04Please don't blow this!
00:16:06Lola, chillax.
00:16:08I got it all figured out.
00:16:09All I have to do is not lie.
00:16:11 if I don't lie, then I won't giggle.
00:16:14For example, ask me what I think of the perfume.
00:16:18What do you think of the perfume?
00:16:19It's like nothing I have ever smelled before.
00:16:22You see? no giggles.
00:16:26Hey, darlin', the more I think about it, the more I think going on this show's a bad idea.
00:16:31Daddy, you worry too much.
00:16:32What if he brings out a bottle of that perfume and you get a whiff of it?
00:16:36 I've already got about a pound of vapor rub in my nose.
00:16:39Right now I could smell one of jackson's dirty socks and live to tell the tale.
00:16:46I'll have to remember that next time I go visit uncle earl and he's cooked up a pot of that 3-bean chili.
00:16:51Sure you're ok?
00:16:52Trust me, dad. everything's gonna be fine.
00:16:58What's so funny? what's not funny, dad?
00:17:00You gotta learn to laugh more.
00:17:02It's gonna be a breeze.
00:17:08Howdy, partner.
00:17:11Just came by to wish you luck.
00:17:13Wait up, cowboy! rowr!
00:17:17You had to plant that giggling thing in my head.
00:17:20Look on the bright side.
00:17:21You can always cover giggling by saying something was funny.
00:17:23I mean, it's not like you're oliver.
00:17:26When he lies, he hiccups.
00:17:31And we're back with pop sensation hannah montana.
00:17:35We've talked about your new cd and your european tour.
00:17:39Let's get the real deal on this commercial, huh?
00:17:43Is that true?
00:17:44Had you really never smelled anything like it before?
00:17:48I canhonestlysay, throughout all the perfumes that I have worn, it is totally unique.
00:17:57And that's the truth.
00:18:01So you-- you weren't just acting.
00:18:04You honestly love the stuff?
00:18:05Well, I mean, have you seen the bottle?
00:18:08It's beautiful.
00:18:09Round with a little point.
00:18:12Yeah, it's great, but I'm asking you about what's inside.
00:18:15Do you like the perfume? yes or no?
00:18:31That's--that's good to hear.
00:18:33I'm glad you're not one of those celebrities who goes out and pushes something she doesn't believe in.
00:18:38That's not me.
00:18:41[Gasps, coughs] got a little somethin'.
00:18:47What an adorable laugh you have.
00:18:51Glad you like it.
00:18:51You're gonna be hearing it quite a lot.
00:18:54Right. oh!
00:18:54Artie says our switchboard is going crazy, so let's take some calls, huh?
00:19:02Caitlin from michigan, you're on with hannah montana.
00:19:06Caitlin, on telephone: Hannah, I love you.
00:19:07And I can't wait to smell like you.
00:19:09Do you wear oh, wow every day?
00:19:13Well, not every day.
00:19:15Why not? I don't want to waste it.
00:19:18[Hiccups] [WHISPERS] Man!
00:19:22There was an ant.
00:19:28You ok?
00:19:29Yeah, I'm fine.
00:19:30Just a little nervous about being on your show.
00:19:33You're actually much more handsome in person.
00:19:36[Hiccups] she's the cutest thing! ha ha.
00:19:44Big star like her still gets nervous.
00:19:46You know when I get nervous, i, uh, I sweat.
00:19:52Like a pig!
00:19:54Thanks, collin. good to know.
00:19:56All right, let's take our next caller, huh?
00:19:59Brianna from georgia!
00:20:02Brianna, on telephone: Hannah, I'm such a big fan, I can't believe I'm talking to you!
00:20:05I hear your perfume smells like raspberries.
00:20:08I love raspberries.
00:20:10Don't you love raspberries?
00:20:15I really don't like singling out any one fruit as my favorite.
00:20:19It's so unfair to all the other fruits.
00:20:23But it's in your perfume, so you gotta like raspberries, right?
00:20:27Yes or no?
00:20:32Who doesn't like a good raspberry?
00:20:35Oh! well, brianna, thanks for the call.
00:20:37[Chuckles] always be polite.
00:20:41Brianna, on telephone: i do love-- ..
00:20:50How about that hailstorm last night?
00:20:56You need a tissue or a bath towel?
00:21:00No, no. thanks.
00:21:03I'm good.
00:24:48 I'm really glad I told the oh, wow people that I couldn't endorse their perfume.
00:24:52The truth is always the best thing.
00:24:55Even though sometimes it hurts.
00:24:57[Engine starts] it really, really hurts.
00:25:02[Sobs] I'm gonna miss her so much!
00:25:04I'll never forget you, maria!
00:25:06Lilly, calm down.
00:25:07It's really not that great of a car anyway.
00:25:11[Sobbing] I'm gonna miss you, too, maria.
00:25:15It's ok.we'll survive.
00:25:21Hey, speaking of surviving, anybody heardfrom your brother?
00:25:23I just got a call fromthe teen wilderness challenge show.
00:25:27He's been turned down.
00:25:27Aw, how do you thinkhe's gonna take it?
00:25:31[Jacksonimitates tarzan] [crash] not so good.
00:25:39Captioning made possible byabc cable networks group captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.
00:25:58Ptioning made possible byabc cable networks group all I'm saying is next time I tell some babe I'm 15, back me up.
00:26:06" but we're twins.
00:26:10She's bound to figure out one of us is lying.
00:26:14When are you two gonna stop arguing?
00:26:16Soon, I beg of you.
00:26:18Or relocate your argument to some suitable alley.
00:26:21Don't worry, mr. moseby.
00:26:22Things'll quiet down fast.
00:26:23Cody and tapeworm are leaving for math camp for 2 weeks.
00:26:28Camp knock-a-number.
00:26:29They serve 3 squared meals a day.
00:26:33Get it? squared.
00:26:35You know, math camp.
00:26:362 Weeks of campfires, canoeing, and quadratic formulas.
00:26:40Ooh. that sounds like heaven.
00:26:42You're going as well?
00:26:43 I told the teacher you couldn't pay me to spend 2 weeks with a bunch of math geeks.
00:26:48Was that before or after you flunked your math test?
00:26:52I'll have you know I flunked that test purposely just to get away from you.
00:26:56 and who are you avoiding with your "d" in english?
00:27:01Don't run-- not the cou-- ♪♪ here I am in your life ♪♪
00:27:09♪♪ here you are in mine ♪♪
00:27:11♪♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪♪
00:27:14♪♪ most of the time ♪♪
00:27:16♪♪ you and megot the world to see ♪♪
00:27:18♪♪ so come on down ♪♪
00:27:20♪♪ just me and youknow what to do ♪♪
00:27:23♪♪ so come on down ♪♪
00:27:25♪♪ it's you and meand me and you ♪♪
00:27:27♪♪ we got the whole placeto ourselves ♪♪
00:27:30♪♪ you and me,we got it all for free ♪♪
00:27:32♪♪ so come on down ♪♪
00:27:35♪♪ this is the suite life ♪♪
00:27:40♪♪ we've got a suite life ♪♪
00:27:48maddie, guesswheremoiis off to.
00:27:52Hopefully french classto learn a word other " to get my learner's permit.
00:28:01Oh, it's easy.
00:28:02I've beenwatching my chauffeur do it for years.
00:28:05But I have to passtheir silly test first.
00:28:08Here. quiz me,candy girl.
00:28:12Oh. here's one.
00:28:13"When is itacceptable to park near a red " ..
00:28:19If I'm wearing green,never.
00:28:21It would clash.
00:28:23Oh, unless it's christmas.
00:28:24You're gonna do great.
00:28:32Don't forget to pack blankie.
00:28:34Don't need it.
00:28:34I'm quitting cold turkey.
00:28:36But it might come in handy.
00:28:38Say you run into a grizzly bear.
00:28:41You could take out your blankie, and he would laugh himself to death.
00:28:45Or I can show him your report card.
00:28:49Ok. I've put nametags in all your clothes.
00:28:53Here's my cell phone.
00:28:55Call if there's an emergency, like you just want to hear mommy's voice.
00:28:59[Embarrassed] mom.
00:29:00Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.
00:29:05Can't breathe!
00:29:08Zack, you're gonna miss your brother, too, aren't ya?
00:29:11Like a slow-healing scab.