I Love Lucy - The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub   View more episodes

Aired at 11:30 AM on Thursday, Jun 24, 2010 (6/24/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:02Did you call up howard thompson?
00:00:04He isn't marked off.
00:00:05Yeah, he's busy monday night.
00:00:07Baby-sitting with his grandson.
00:00:10Oh, yeah.
00:00:12Well, don't look at me like that!
00:00:15When I dated him he was an interesting older man.
00:00:18Hello, hello, is this sam zabaglione's house?
00:00:21Oh, no, no, no, don't call your daddy to the phone.
00:00:27Little girl, paisan!
00:00:34Well, we can always call the zoo and order a couple of dancing bears.
00:00:38Oh! why didn't I think of this before.
00:00:42Who are you calling?
00:00:44Who, who, who?
00:00:45Quiet, you sound like an owl.
00:00:47Well, who are you calling?
00:00:49Ginny jones, she knows every man in town.
00:00:53Oh, I feel hopeful again.
00:00:56Hello, ginny, ginny, this is lucy ricardo.
00:00:59Well, it's very nice to hear your voice again, too, dear.
00:01:02I'll tell you why I called.
00:01:08They did!
00:01:09Ricky and fred just called her.
00:01:12They did!
00:01:14They didn't.
00:01:16They didn't!
00:01:18They did!
00:01:20They did!
00:01:21They didn't!
00:01:23Well, did they or didn't they?
00:01:27Ricky and fred just asked her to get them dates, too.
00:01:30They didn't!
00:01:31They did!
00:01:33Those dirty two-timers.
00:01:37Wait a minute, I got an idea.
00:01:38Ginny, I want you to get them dates for monday night.
00:01:42That's right.
00:01:43But the dates will be ethel and me.
00:01:45Yeah, and one more thing, ginny I want you to build up these beautiful, blind dates yeah, and tell them that we'll meet them at ricky's apartment at 8:00.
00:01:55That's right.
00:01:56Just leave the rest to us, ginny.
00:01:58Okay, bye.
00:02:42♪♪ well, if you come from the hood ♪♪
00:02:44♪♪ or ya come from the burbs ♪♪
00:02:45♪♪ got the fellas up in here tonight ♪♪
00:02:47♪♪ ♪♪
00:02:48♪♪ we at the block partyhaving fun ♪♪
00:03:09of country!
00:03:11[ both screaming ] I got into one of the most expensive schools in the country!
00:03:16[ Male Announcer ] WHEN STRESS GIVES YOU ..
00:03:18Alka-seltzergives you relief fast.
00:03:20[ Low male ] PLOP, PLOP. [ High male ] FIZZ, Fizz.
00:05:43I wonder what they'll be like.
00:05:45Ginny said that they were just knockouts.
00:05:48Real dreams.
00:05:49(whistles) Gorgeous willowy figures.
00:05:52(whistles) Sweet dispositions.
00:05:57I wonder why they wanted to meet us here at the apartment.
00:06:00Well, maybe they want to be with us alone.
00:06:02Just be thankful our wives have got early dinner dates.
00:06:06(doorbell rings) Hello, there!
00:06:25How do you do?
00:06:27We'd be looking for a couple of fellows named ricky and fred.
00:06:31Be you they?
00:06:34We be simon and elmer.
00:06:37Oh, boy, that's a good one.
00:06:40We be your dates.
00:06:43This one is yours, fred.
00:06:45Fred: Oh, no, no.
00:06:57This one is yours, too, fred.
00:07:02Wait a minute, now there's a little mistake here.
00:07:05I'm going to have that man over there and this one is yours, ma.
00:07:11Hey, I'm going to like you.
00:07:14There must be some mistake.
00:07:15We're waiting for friends of ginny jones.
00:07:18Well, that's us.
00:07:19I'm yuncy, this here's my ma.
00:07:24That's your mother?
00:07:26It is?
00:07:27Oh, it is, it is, yeah!
00:07:30I knew that.
00:07:31Do something, ricky!
00:07:32Look, look, girls, it's very nice of you to come over but an emergency just came up and we have to change our plans.
00:07:41Oh, look at him, ma, he's shy.
00:07:44What's the matter, sonny boy?
00:07:46Come on, kiss me.
00:07:47Wait a minute.
00:07:48Come on, kiss me.
00:07:49Kiss me right now.
00:07:50Let's get acquainted a little bit.
00:07:54Oh, boy, ma, this is fun!
00:08:04What's the matter, boy, ain't I your type?
00:08:07Oh, I do like to see the youngins having fun!
00:08:10It's past his bedtime.
00:08:12He's got a rehearsal in the morning.
00:08:14Killjoy, come on over here and sit down.
00:08:16Ricky: Now hold it!
00:08:18Wait a minute!
00:08:19He's right, that's it.
00:08:20I have to rehearse in the morning.
00:08:22Oh, are you an actor feller?
00:08:24No, no.
00:08:26A dancer feller?
00:08:27No, I'm a singer feller.
00:08:29Ma: Well, sing something.
00:08:32No, I couldn't.
00:08:33Okay, let's neck.
00:08:34Wait a minute.
00:08:37I'll sing.
00:08:41What would you like to hear?
00:08:43Oh, any little ditty.
00:08:45How about"guadalajara"?
00:08:47Oh, that was beautiful.
00:08:48Let's neck.
00:08:50No, wait a minute.
00:08:57♪♪Guadalajara, guadalajara♪♪
00:09:02♪♪guadalajara, guadalajara♪♪
00:09:06♪♪enes el alma de provinciana♪♪
00:09:12♪♪a ver dejara breca del rio♪♪
00:09:14♪♪son mis palomas tu caserio♪♪
00:09:20♪♪ay, ay, ay ay, ay, ay♪♪
00:09:28♪♪ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay♪♪
00:09:34ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
00:09:36♪♪Ay, colomitos lejano♪♪
00:09:49♪♪hay colomitos inolvidables♪♪
00:09:52♪♪inolvidable como la tarde♪♪
00:09:54♪♪en que la lluvia deja el aroma♪♪
00:10:06♪♪ay, ay, ay♪♪
00:10:09♪♪ay, ay, ay♪♪
00:10:12♪♪ay, ay, ay♪♪
00:10:42well, well, if that don't beat all.
00:10:45I sure didn't know you had it in you, boy!
00:10:48Come on, let's neck.
00:10:51Let's have a cigarette.
00:10:53Yeah, let's smoke it up a bit.
00:10:57I know where they are, sonny, I'll get 'em for you.
00:11:00Yuncy: Here you are, sonny.
00:11:02I would like to get a glass of water.
00:11:05Come on, fred.
00:11:06Can't you carry a glass of water by yourself?
00:11:09Let's get out of here while we got a chance.
00:11:12Wait a minute.
00:11:13Wait for what?
00:11:14Come back here.
00:11:15Did you notice that she knew where the cigarettes were?
00:11:18That was kind of funny, huh?
00:11:20You know who those two creeps are in there?
00:11:24That's lucy and ethel.
00:11:25Oh, no, I'd know my own wife, wouldn't i?
00:11:29I bet you fred.
00:11:32By gosh, it is ethel.
00:11:37What do they think they're getting away with?
00:11:38Never mind, look, never mind.
00:11:41Just forget it.
00:11:41I got a wonderful idea to get even with them.
00:11:45Yeah, what?
00:11:45We'll turn the tables on them.
00:11:47We'll give them the same wolf treatment they've been giving us.
00:11:52Ricky, you're a genius.
00:11:53Let's go.
00:11:55There you are, ricky boy.
00:11:56I've been waiting to pitch a little woo with you hog-center style.
00:12:00Okay, only I thought we'd do it latin style.
00:12:04Latin style?
00:12:08Now, take it easy!
00:12:09Hey, now, just a minute!
00:12:12Come here.
00:12:16I'm getting out of here.
00:12:18I'm coming with you!
00:12:18This smart aleck's trying to unbutton my high-top shoes.
00:12:23Call us again, lucy.
00:12:25Nice to have met you, ethel.
00:12:28Why, fred mertz!
00:12:29You knew it all the time!
00:12:32Well, not all the time.
00:12:34You were pretty convincing.
00:12:39Wait, what are we laughing at?
00:12:40You were going out with other women.
00:12:43I swear we were only getting dates to go to the copa to keep an eye on you girls.
00:12:48Is that the truth?
00:12:49Upon my honor, passion flower.
00:12:51What do you think?
00:12:53Just to show you you two girls go and change your clothes and we'll all go out and celebrate the mertz's anniversary.
00:13:00Right! oh, ricky!
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00:13:41It's in the bunches, on the flakes, even real strawberries in the mix.
00:13:45Can I have some more?
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00:15:00[ Man ] MY SLEEP JUST ISN'T RIGHT.
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00:16:08(cheering) Happy anniversary, ethel.
00:16:21Thank you, lucy.
00:16:27[Captioning sponsored byTHE U.S. DEPARTMENT Of education and NICKELODEON Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] ♪♪ There's a time for loveand a time for livin' ♪♪
00:17:01♪♪ so take a chanceand face the wind ♪♪
00:17:03♪♪ an open road anda road that's hidden ♪♪
00:17:07♪♪ a brand-new lifearound the bend ♪♪
00:17:10♪♪ there were times ♪♪
00:17:13♪♪ I lost a dream or two ♪♪
00:17:16♪♪ found the trail ♪♪
00:17:18♪♪ and at the end was you ♪♪
00:17:21♪♪ there's a path you takeand a path not taken ♪♪
00:17:24♪♪ the choice isup to you, my friend ♪♪
00:17:27♪♪ nights are longbut you might awaken ♪♪
00:17:30♪♪ to a brand-new life ♪♪
00:17:32♪♪ brand-new life ♪♪
00:17:33♪♪ a brand-new lifearound the bend ♪♪♪♪
00:17:37captioning made possible bycolumbia pictures television, inc.
00:17:47That isthe longest speech in the historyof advertising.
00:17:51He's probablystill talking.
00:17:53Oh, mother, you're here.
00:17:55Yes, dear, I'm here quite a lot.
00:17:58It's kind of like home to me.
00:18:03How were the awards? win anything?
00:18:05I was runner-up for one.
00:18:12Mother, this is my date.
00:18:16Nice to meet you.
00:18:18Well, thank you.
00:18:19Thank you for the special evening.
00:18:23It was special. thank you.
00:18:27There's just one thing I'd like to ask.
00:18:33Visa or mastercard?
00:18:35Oh, uh-- just send me the bill.
00:18:41Thanks so much. it was just fabulous.
00:18:44Thank you.
00:18:52I am shocked.
00:18:53Mother, single women executives hire escorts all the time.
00:18:57No. I'm saying you got gypped.
00:19:00You pay for a car wash, you don't leave before the buff and polish.
00:19:08I didn't do this for a buff and polish.
00:19:12I wasn't going to those awards alone.
00:19:15Everybody was busy. no big deal.
00:19:17I would just like to see my daughter go on a real date-- where the guy pays?
00:19:24So would i, but I'm too busy to meet men.
00:19:28Tell me about it.
00:19:30You could convert your bedroom into a sensory deprivation tank.
00:19:35I'm perfectly comfortable with my life exactly as it is now, and if you tell anyone about tonight, I'll make myself an orphan.
00:19:46♪♪ Do do do do ♪♪
00:19:47oh, hi.
00:19:48Ooh, angela, you look very nice.
00:19:51How was the affair?
00:19:55Super. just super.
00:19:57I'm sorry I was busy.
00:19:58I took an old business associate of mine, a terrific guy--brad.
00:20:05He likes me to call him brad.
00:20:10 i, uh-- I'm beat.
00:20:13Well, good night.
00:20:18What's with her?
00:20:21But I'll answer questions if they're specific.
00:20:28And you ask exactly the right thing.
00:20:31 where did-- angela paid a man to take her out tonight.
00:20:38Gee, I worded that perfectly, huh?
00:20:40I mean, my own daughter hiring an escort.
00:20:45An escort? you're kidding me.
00:20:47I mean, angela's funny, and she's beautiful, ..
00:20:54You said beautiful twice.
00:20:56She's two times beautiful.
00:20:58What I mean is, any man would be proud to take her out.
00:21:03If she could find a man.
00:21:11Poor thing.
00:21:12Mona, the poor thing-- isn't that a little strong?
00:21:15Tony, you know, when the escort left tonight, angela tried to be very cavalier, but I could see through her facade.
00:21:25You know angela.
00:21:27Laugh, clown, laugh.
00:21:32Aw, poor thing.
00:21:33Well, what could we do?
00:21:36Well, we could get her a date with a strong, comforting man who could restore her self-esteem.
00:21:46She needs to feel like the attractive woman you seem to think she is.
00:21:54Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:21:56Wait a minute, mona.
00:21:57I don't like where you're going.
00:22:00Why not? it's perfect.
00:22:01You're strong. you're comforting.
00:22:03You're hallway close.
00:22:06Well, I don't know.
00:22:07Me and angela on a date.
00:22:10We're friends, you know?
00:22:12But friends do date, but if we dated, would we still be friends?
00:22:21Should I leave while you discuss this?
00:22:24No, no, no. we're through. we're through.
00:22:27You really think this would help?
00:22:30Trust me.
00:22:31 well, hey, I'll give her a night to remember.
00:22:36Take her to dinner first.
00:22:57uh, hello,could this get any more beige?
00:23:00It's a different sort of a tone, a tone of beige.
00:23:02No. beige-ish.
00:23:04That's just beige. oh.
00:23:05For this makeover, we want to provide some contrast.
00:23:07We're gonna break you guys out of your stale routine.
00:23:11Good! get going!
00:23:12I'm thinking some smoky kraft chipotle mayo to bring some heatand really punch things up.
00:23:16You know, your sandwich isa reflection of your personality and what your life is about.right, rick?
00:23:21Right, vern.
00:23:21Don't be afraid to break out of your comfort zone.
00:23:26[ gasps ] WOW.
00:23:28OH MY GOSH! [ chuckles ] Oh!
00:23:32How is it?
00:23:33Mmm. it's so bold!
00:23:36I wasn't ready for that! oh, wow!
00:23:38I have not been this happy since I was in tijuana.
00:23:44When were you in tijuana?
00:23:46[ Vern ] NEW KRAFTSANDWICH SHOP CHIPOTLE Mayo really spices things up.
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00:24:22This isn't even my floor.
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00:25:11Good morning, guys.
00:25:12Good morning.
00:25:14Angela's not down yet?
00:25:15No. why? what's up?
00:25:16Oh, nothing. I'll tell you later.
00:25:19Ok. catch me after you ask angela out.
00:25:25Oh, grandma woke us last night to tell us.
00:25:28Tell you what?
00:25:30Do it, tony.
00:25:31I dare you.
00:25:33Jonathan, grow up. come on. get out.
00:25:35Can't you be a little mature about this, please?
00:25:40..hee hee hee.
00:25:45What's going on?
00:25:46Nothing. you know those kids.
00:25:50Gee, angela, you look especially pretty.
00:25:52What did you do to your hair?
00:25:55I sweated on it.
00:25:58Well, it works.
00:26:00Hey, angela, you want to go out tonight?
00:26:03You mean a date?
00:26:04Yeah, a date.
00:26:09Because we've never done anything like that before.
00:26:12Oh, yes, we have.
00:26:14Remember, jonathan fixed us up at that restaurant chez rene?
00:26:17Well, that was a misunderstanding.
00:26:20Last year's ad awards.
00:26:22We went to see 101 dalmations.
00:26:25That was a cartoon.
00:26:26What about the time-- let's not go on a date.
00:26:30We've been on millions of dates.
00:26:33We never have been out on adatedate.
00:26:39So do yowant to go, or what?
00:26:48Thank you.
00:26:49You're welcome.
00:26:50 and I thought this was going to be rough.
00:26:54Hey, tony, it's me, angela. no big deal.
00:26:57Yeah, no big deal, huh?
00:27:06She's taking her sweet time.
00:27:08Well, you know women.
00:27:13How do I look?
00:27:14Does this tie work?
00:27:16Hey, it works great.
00:27:18The jacket?
00:27:19Tony, you're too nervous.
00:27:21Come here, pal.
00:27:25Yeah, pal?
00:27:25You haven't dated in a while.
00:27:28Let me give you some advice.
00:27:30Well, I appreciate that.
00:27:31I have this great move ur arm around a girl.
00:27:36..a yawn...
00:27:40And reach.
00:27:41Then you land it on her shoulder.
00:27:44It's really romantic.
00:27:45I used it on wendy fisher in science class.
00:27:49Well, did it work?