Live With Regis and Kelly   View more episodes

Aired at 08:00 AM on Tuesday, Mar 08, 2011 (3/8/2011)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:06I can't wait!
00:00:08[Cheers and applause] thank you.
00:00:15Regis: oh, yeah.
00:00:17Thank you.
00:00:22Oh, boy, it's march 8, it's tuesday, 2011.
00:00:25And we may have a malfunction here, wardrobe malfunction before this show is over.
00:00:31I don't know what's going on.
00:00:32I don't even want to look.
00:00:33 it would not be vanity that would cause me to get a breast augmentation.
00:00:39It would be the fact that finally, my shirt would stay on and not fall directly off my body.
00:00:45 that's all we ask for is for the shirt to stay on for another 59 minutes.
00:00:50We can make it.
00:00:51Kelly: it's not vanity.
00:00:53I feel perfectly good for myself.
00:00:56I just can't get my shirt on my bits and pieces.
00:00:58Regis: keep that shirt on, baby.
00:01:00Kelly: I'm trying.
00:01:01 what a day I had yesterday.
00:01:05Honest to god, I was everywhere!
00:01:07 oh, I thought you were going to give me more medical news.
00:01:11We only live for the philbin medical updates.
00:01:15 I had lunch at the friar's club.
00:01:20Kelly: oh, how luxurious.
00:01:22Regis: you been there?
00:01:23Kelly: sure, I have.
00:01:25I've been there honoring you one night.
00:01:28Regis: forgot about that one.
00:01:28It's a lovely face plays and it's one of the few remaining mansions remember where they used to be years and years ago?
00:01:35Kelly: sure.
00:01:36It's a window into sort of the olds, you know, the way things used to be.
00:01:43 and all the pictures of those great show people on the wall there.
00:01:46There's sinatra, there's dean.
00:01:49Sat on the -- under jerry lewis yesterday.
00:01:54Jerry still looks good.
00:01:56And then last night, I went to a book party.
00:02:01Karen track has this kids' book her dog was there.
00:02:05These dogs are so well trained and so manicured and they love this woman so much they just stare at her.
00:02:11Kelly: sure.
00:02:12They wait for that treat.
00:02:14[Laughter] it's really just between them and her and it's fascinating to watch.
00:02:23And guess where it was.
00:02:25Kelly: where?
00:02:26 have you been to the new ralph lauren?
00:02:29Kelly: oh, I have.
00:02:30I've been to the gloria vanderbilt book party there.
00:02:34 it used to be just where they sold shirt, ties and everything.
00:02:38 no, it's fancy swanky stuff.
00:02:41 did you go through the whole place?
00:02:43Kelly: I tried to.
00:02:44Regis: ralph lauren is some guy.
00:02:46He takes your breath away with the interior decorations that he comes up with.
00:02:51 it's like a store but at the same time, you feel like you should rub home and put on a tuxedo before you go.
00:02:56It's so nice.
00:02:57 it's too classy for all of us.
00:03:00 I didn't wear the right gown to go shopping or the right shirt.
00:03:05 from there, we went to dinner.
00:03:08 where did you go to dinner?
00:03:10 a little place on the east side.
00:03:13I've lost track of the east side.
00:03:15They have so many great little restaurants.
00:03:19This one is an italian restaurant.
00:03:26And while you were hanging around with -- who did you hang around with last night?
00:03:29Kelly: my in-laws.
00:03:30[Laughter] regis: oh, yeah.
00:03:32Why you were with your in-laws, regis wound up with two multi-billionaires.
00:03:41Kelly: oh, my gosh.
00:03:42Little did you know that my in-laws are multi-billionaires.
00:03:44[Laughter] regis: I can't win any time.
00:03:48Wilber ross, you've heard of the name and richard lefrack.
00:03:54And they begin picking my mind, my picking my brain.
00:03:59Kelly: picking your mind.
00:04:00 picking my brain for what they should buy.
00:04:03What they should invest in.
00:04:04Leave me alone, I say.
00:04:06Get your own billion.
00:04:08[Laughter] it was a lot of fun.
00:04:09It was great.
00:04:10Kelly: that's a nice night.
00:04:11 nice night for regis to be out there among them, sure.
00:04:15Kelly: among them.
00:04:17 although I pulled a gaffe last night.
00:04:19I am so used to joy getting out first out of the car that when we drove up, I happen to be on the side where the sidewalk was.
00:04:27So I got out first.
00:04:28Kelly: yes.
00:04:29 and there's always a big crowd when you go to these ook so I took a couple of steps towards the crowd and -- you forgot joy in the car.
00:04:40[Laughter] regis: furious!
00:04:43Kelly: oh, joy.
00:04:45Regis: furious!
00:04:45What a way to start the night!
00:04:47 did joy just slide over and you shut the door?
00:04:49Regis: no.
00:04:50I got out first and I was so used to her getting out first and then I follow her.
00:04:54But I got out first and I wanted to see what was going on, you know?
00:05:00And I left her in the car.
00:05:01 I don't like to slide over.
00:05:03Even if I'm on the wrong side of the sidewalk, I will get out on my side of the door and walk around the car.
00:05:09 but you got to be careful.
00:05:12Cars are whizzing by.
00:05:15Kelly: I know.
00:05:15I don't like to slide.
00:05:16Regis: that's tough.
00:05:18 that's how these ladies get caught with their bits and pieces showing getting out of the car.
00:05:25Because they've slid across and the dress had stayed over here.
00:05:29[Laughter] regis: those things happen.
00:05:31You're right.
00:05:31Kelly: think about it.
00:05:33 so anyway, she slid slowly.
00:05:36Kelly: and deliberately.
00:05:37 yes, deliberately, to teach me a lesson, you know?
00:05:40 [laughter] and so I learned my lesson.
00:05:44Kelly: oh, no.
00:05:45Oh, no, no.
00:05:47Regis: I said hey, come on.
00:05:50What's -- let's go in to see ralph lauren, you know?
00:05:54Whatever you want in there is yours.
00:05:56 [laughter] yeah, right.
00:05:58 until I found out the price.
00:06:00So I had a nice night.
00:06:01Kelly: my father-in-law's sick.
00:06:03So we were like kind of -- it's a very bummed out night in our house.
00:06:09He's got a very high fever.
00:06:10 you know, everybody's getting something.
00:06:12I swear to you.
00:06:13We're going to go in atlantic city saturday night doing our show and she's coughing and all of a sudden, my nose is clogged.
00:06:21[Laughter] think I got a lot to worry about here?
00:06:23I've got to be tiptop shape.
00:06:26Kelly: you've got a show to run.
00:06:28You've got the people to think about.
00:06:30Regis: oh, my god.
00:06:32Kelly: oh, boy.
00:06:33 so anyway, I made a call in atlantic city.
00:06:36Mike and diane.
00:06:37They're very nice to us.
00:06:38And so this mike guy says hey, regis, are you replacing charlie sheen?
00:06:43Kelly: oh.
00:06:45[Laughter] [applause] there is -- [applause] regis: excuse me.
00:06:54Excuse me I detected sort of what I call a mocking laugh?
00:06:59[Laughter] like they can't believe isn't it why can't I replace charlie sheen?
00:07:06 I got the reverse phone call where somebody said, um, some of my friend who is a comedy writer said good news and it was under the -- it said regarding winning, it said on the e-mail.
00:07:17She said good news.
00:07:18Now that charlie sheen has officially been apparently fired by cbs that freezed him up to take over for regis in -- [laughter] the end of his contract.
00:07:30Respect I think charlie and i might swap a role soon.
00:07:33Kelly: job swap.
00:07:34Regis: yeah.
00:07:36 aww, winning, winning, winning all around.
00:07:39Everybody wins.
00:07:40 I guess the kind of got a little tire offend charlie.
00:07:44The show must be over now, right?
00:07:47 the show was in the newspaper today and what fass -- fascinated me more than the story itself is when you zoom in on charlie holding his beloved pet lizard, yeah.
00:07:59There you go.
00:08:01I believe, I believe that the lizard allegedly, we have a copy of the statement issued by the lizard.
00:08:06 looks like he -- it looks like a gecko to me.
00:08:09You know that little gecko guy?
00:08:12 the lizard has issued this statement.
00:08:14Again, it's an alleged statement.
00:08:16We can't confirm whether or not THISIZARanDKelly LIZARD SAYS This.
00:08:20" [laughter] regis: poor lizard.
00:08:29 "i am being held against " [laughter] "i may look carefree in this photo, but it's all an act.
00:08:40Somebody, do what you can and " r] so again, I don't know where this came from, but that is a statement from the lizard.
00:08:50[Laughter] do you think that's a lizard?
00:08:53Kelly: yes, it is a lizard.
00:08:55Regis: hmm.
00:08:56Kelly: that is in fact a lizard.
00:08:58Regis: is that one of his pets?
00:09:00Kelly: it's an iguana.
00:09:01Not a gecko.
00:09:02 I like that little gecko, you know?
00:09:05 you mean from the commercial?
00:09:07Regis: yeah, sure.
00:09:08All right.
00:09:09So what else?
00:09:09Kelly: that's not a real gecko.
00:09:11I don't want to burst your bubble.
00:09:13[Laughter] regis: I of the geck.
00:09:18The zippo lighters, you know?
00:09:19Kelly: yes.
00:09:20 now that everybody stopped smoking what is zippo lighter going to do?
00:09:24They're out there in branford, pennsylvania, probably one of the few manufacturing companies we have left in america.
00:09:33But now they're putting out other things.
00:09:36They're putting out men's fragrances.
00:09:38Kelly: oh.
00:09:39Regis: yeah.
00:09:40Nice -- what kind of -- musty smell?
00:09:43What is it?
00:09:45Gelman: woody?
00:09:46Regis: woody.
00:09:47Woody smell, yeah.
00:09:49[Laughter] kelly: it sells itself.
00:09:55Regis: I think it's great.
00:09:57Here's one company that is not going under because times are changing.
00:10:01 they can find other uses for their product and people still need to light things like candles and grills.
00:10:06Regis: yeah.
00:10:07The old zippo lighter.
00:10:09Kelly: and fireplaces.
00:10:14I'm just coming out with other uses.
00:10:16Regis: I know.
00:10:17 did you hear about this story if the future about -- newspaper in the romanian grandmother who this the youngest -- she gave birth to her daughter when she was just 12 years old said she urged her daughter not to follow in her footsteps but maria gave birth to her son when shevers 11.
00:10:4111 -- 11.
00:10:44 I don't know what to say about that.
00:10:46Good luck, everybody.
00:10:49Can't beat romania.
00:10:51Kelly: 23.
00:10:53 23 years old and she's a grandmother.
00:10:57So she could be a great-grandmother by the time she's 30.
00:11:01Kelly: oh, my gosh.
00:11:05 well, kelly, what can i tell you?
00:11:07 well, people will mean it when they say you look great for being a grandmother.
00:11:13[Laughter] I mean it will be an authentic statement.
00:11:18Regis: oh.
00:11:19You know that new york traffic is now close to replicating what's going on in los angeles?
00:11:25 is that -- which is the worst traffic jams in the world.
00:11:28Kelly: true?
00:11:29>> Yeah.
00:11:31Region is rapidly catching on to l.a. back-ups.
00:11:35 I know during weekends in the summer going tout long island, that would be true where you just sit there for hours.
00:11:41Regis: absolutely.
00:11:42But you go out at a special time, right?
00:11:44 yeah, I try to find that 00 in the morning?
00:11:48Regis: yeah.
00:11:49I have time to los angeles traffic and I can tell you the safest time to go is 1:05 p.m.
00:12:02To 1:15 p.m.
00:12:02[Laughter] get in there with that 10-minute break and get where wasn't to be.
00:12:04Otherwise, you're dead.
00:12:05 the traffic there is sort of amazing.
00:12:07 two weeks ago and they drove you down to disney world?
00:12:12Kelly: yeah.
00:12:13Regis: or disneyland?
00:12:15 there was a ton of traffic and we were driving late at night and there was still a lot of traffic and what's interesting to me is the driver kept asking me do you want me to take this way or this way?
00:12:26 at all and i said which ever way you think is faster and I believe that he looked at me and went ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:12:36And then he twirled his handlebar mustache.
00:12:41Regis: scary, aren't they?
00:12:42Kelly: very spooky.
00:12:44 now, we're going to do our trivia question.
00:12:47Kelly: yeah.
00:12:48 and I understand we have now -- I haven't been here for this, but I think you had it on friday's show?
00:12:53While I was having my colonoscopy?
00:12:56Kelly: yes.
00:12:57[Laughter] that's right, lady, I had a colonoscopy.
00:13:01You think it's funny, huh?
00:13:03Video chat, so what do we do?
00:13:06Just go up there?
00:13:07Do I just call you hellman?
00:13:10 I have a put together a little tape piece from mardi gras.
00:13:13Did you want to see that?
00:13:14Regis: yeah.
00:13:15 this is the tiniest tineys little tineys -- I took of the show's flip cam.
00:13:20We have a flip cam.
00:13:21 is is the beginning of the mardi gras down there?
00:13:24Kelly: yeah.
00:13:25It was the beginning of mardi gras when I was there.
00:13:27We had a great weekend.
00:13:28I was one to the grand marshals.
00:13:30So was mark consuelos and so was anderson cooper and we rode on this great indemon float and i wanted to show you a little taste of what was beginning on there that weekend and it all started with a few cocktails with our good friend andy cohen.
00:13:46Take a look at this.
00:13:48This is what a real martini looks like.
00:13:53Regis doesn't know that because his martinis are always pink.
00:13:58>> [Laughter] that's funny!
00:14:00>> So exciting.
00:14:02I mean, who would ever think that we would be able to do this?
00:14:05Grand marshals.
00:14:16 we're backstage going into the convention center.
00:14:19It looks crazy out there.
00:14:23[cheers and applause] kelly: that's right.
00:14:30[Applause] today is of course the real mardi gras, which means fat tuesday and today is fat tuesday.
00:14:41Regis: no kidding.
00:14:43Kelly: we had the best time.
00:14:45It was so much fun.
00:14:47 I love those close-ups of everybody.
00:14:49 well, I had no idea it was a flip cam.
00:14:52I'm literally shooting everyone like this.
00:14:54Regis: oh, my gosh.
00:14:55A little tight.
00:14:56Some people can't take that close up.
00:15:00 anderson still looked good and so did mark and andy.
00:15:03 of course those guys always look good.
00:15:05 I looked a little frightening.
00:15:07And that's what we come to expect from me.
00:15:09 let's not dwell from that.
00:15:12Robinson obon our show today.
00:15:14Yes, on broadway.
00:15:15"Bengal tiger at the baghdad " [applause] animal expert peter gros will be here with some exotic animals including -- [applause] a yak, an octopus, a eurasian eagle owl and a borneo bearded pig and many others.
00:15:36Regis: a bearded pig?
00:15:37 I relate to the borneo bearded pig.
00:15:41[Laughter] at this stage and I'm not going to say why.
00:15:45[Laughter] regis: all right.
00:15:46So it's time for ring.
00:15:49[Bell] [applause] ♪♪
00:16:08regis: hey!
00:16:11All right.
00:16:11Look who we got on the line here, pipa.
00:16:13Samantha putnam from westfield, massachusetts.
00:16:16Kelly: wait.
00:16:16Let's all sing it, ready?
00:16:22Staying alive staying alive, ha, ha, ha, ha, staying alive ♪♪♪♪
00:16:27regis: what is this?
00:16:36you guys never let me down.
00:16:38You're the best audience.
00:16:39 is there a relationship between that song and the guest?
00:16:43 no it's just the bee gees and we didn't want to waste the song.
00:16:50Hi, samantha.
00:16:51 hi hi, regis and kelly.
00:16:53 I love your little hat there, samantha.
00:16:55Caller: thank you.
00:16:56How are you guys?
00:16:57This is so cool.
00:16:59 samantha, it's line unheard of for us because we can't even dial a phone here.
00:17:04[Laughter] caller: this is pretty new.
00:17:07It's amazing.
00:17:08 do you mind me asking how old you are?
00:17:10Caller: I'm 27.
00:17:12Kelly: oh, my gosh.
00:17:13 you're not from romania, are you?
00:17:17[Laughter] [applause] caller: no.
00:17:18[Laughter] regis: just kidding.
00:17:19Just kidding there.
00:17:22What do you do up there in some computer work at home and I do some pet sitting.
00:17:29Right now, I'm with my cousin's dogs.
00:17:32Kelly: are pets hard to sit?
00:17:34Are they hard to baby-sit?
00:17:36 um, no, it's kind of fun.
00:17:40I really love animals and taking care of them.
00:17:41So it's great.
00:17:42 we're going to have an octopus on our show later.
00:17:46Have you ever pet sit an octopus?
00:17:48Caller: no.
00:17:49 all them all today.
00:17:53Kelly: that's very funny.
00:17:55 samantha, let's see what you're playing for.
00:17:58[Applause] ♪♪
00:18:10kelly: can't see what that says.
00:18:12Oh, my gosh.
00:18:13Ok, samantha, this is a great prize.
00:18:15I've been here.
00:18:17 lucia ya.
00:18:20Seven days and six nights including all meals, roundtrip airfare.
00:18:26It's a prize valued at $7200.
00:18:27You have 20 seconds and only one guess.
00:18:30Good luck, samantha.
00:18:31 lucia ya is a lovely island.
00:18:34Here we go -- what's her name?
00:18:35Kelly: samantha.
00:18:37[Laughter] yesterday's show, we talked with "glee" star darren criss.
00:18:40What city did say darren ism?
00:18:43Cu originally from?
00:18:45Darren criss -- caller: san francisco.
00:18:48Kelly: that's it!
00:18:49[Applause] announcer: congratulations.
00:18:51You and a guest will enjoy seven days and six nathes at the -- nights at the resort hideaway in st. lucia ya.
00:19:03Two soft sand beaches bordering pristine coral reefs.
00:19:09It is in complete harmony with its natural surroundings.
00:19:13Your prize is valued at $7200.
00:19:16[Applause] samantha, I love the dog is so excited for you.
00:19:23[Laughter] caller: yeah, it's priceless.
00:19:27 samantha, if you were here, we would lick your face too.
00:19:32Caller: I'm too.
00:19:34 now you get to help make the day of a lucky member of our studio audience who will receive nine pieces of america's finest cookware from all-clad valued at more than $500.
00:19:44So please p number a number between between one and 165.
00:19:50Caller: 121.
00:19:51Caller: 121.
00:19:54-- kelly: 121.
00:19:55[Applause] we're announcing the next finalist for the "great day starts here" contest.
00:20:05Now we partnered with quaker oatmeal to award each finalist with a $5,000 cash prize.
00:20:11 at the end of the week, you will go to our website and vote for your favorite video.
00:20:16The video with the most votes is our grand prize winner who is going to walk away with $20,000 and a chance to be in one our national professional spots.
00:20:26Take a look at baby regis and kelly, also known as franny and bridget madison from new jersey.
00:20:33Regis: here we go.