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Aired at 06:00 PM on Sunday, Dec 26, 2010 (12/26/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:03Hm? Oh, nothing.
00:00:06Nothing at all. Nothing.
00:00:07Are you all right? Oh, yes. Yes. I c-- I couldn't be better. Just had a little trim off the top.
00:00:11Giselle and Elliot have courted and made the decision to join together forever and ever.
00:00:18[ECHOING] And ever. And ever.
00:00:21[GROANS] FEMALE: Is he okay?
00:00:24Forever and ever?
00:00:27Still time to change your mind.
00:00:29Ew. What? Wait, I knew about forever.
00:00:30Guys, but what's this about "and ever"?
00:00:33Be cool. Nobody said anything about an additional "and ever." [Sniffing] [gasps] No! It's the food of oppression.
00:00:43I must be strong.
00:00:47Oh, maybe just a taste.
00:00:51Nein! Ja?
00:00:54Nein! Ja? Nein!
00:00:56I'd like to ask the buck to step forward for a ceremonial displaying of the antlers.
00:01:01[CROWD LAUGHING] Uh, antler.
00:01:03[Laughs] To show his commitment to his doe.
00:01:07Seriously. Still time. Not gonna happen.
00:01:09Nein! Ja? Nein!
00:01:14Oh, so good.
00:01:17I'm weak! How could I?
00:01:19Do you, Giselle, take Smelliot-- Ian.
00:01:22--to be your lifelong mate?
00:01:26I do.
00:01:27Nein. Nein!
00:01:30Nein. Nein!
00:01:32And do you, Elliot, take Giselle to be your lifelong mate?
00:01:41That's you. Your line. Oh.
00:01:42You go now.
00:01:45Elliot. Go on, man.
00:01:46That's your cue. Go, go. BUDDY: Don't be shy.
00:01:48Come on. Say it, you ninny.
00:01:50Elliot. Are you okay? Oh, uh, heh-heh.
00:01:52IAN: Come on, step it up. I got a buck mitzvah at 3.
00:01:56Huh? MR. WEENIE: ne-- [car honks] Weenie! Weenie! CROWD: Weenie?
00:02:01What, are you speaking French?
00:02:02Weenie! Oh, no!
00:02:03Elliot? Where are you going?
00:02:05Weenie, come back!
00:02:08Stop. Weenie! I must be strong.
00:02:10Stop. Weenie! Weenie! So good.
00:02:13Weenie, over here. Weenie. Here, boy.
00:02:17[Kissing sound] ELLIOT: Weenie! Yoo-hoo!
00:02:20Oh, no. Full moon. [GASPS] Is that you? Mr. Weenie.
00:02:26It's you! It's you! I can't believe it's you!
00:02:28It's a miracle.
00:02:31[GASPS] He's been captured!
00:02:33Bob, Bob. It worked. What am I gonna do?
00:02:36Oh, no. This is terrible.
00:02:38Everything is okay.
00:02:40Mommy is here. [GRUNTS] He's being tortured! [KISSING] No!
00:02:48No! No!
00:02:53 inhales] You better have a good explanation.
00:05:56Yes. Yes, I do.
00:05:58Oh, I can't wait to hear this excuse.
00:05:59It was horrible.
00:06:01Weenie was minding his own business... Really?
00:06:03...when she appeared.
00:06:05He screamed, but she ignored his cry.
00:06:06And then she grabbed him with her claws.
00:06:09[BOTH GASP] Oh, my goodness.
00:06:12Then she tried to squeeze the life out of him.
00:06:14That's horrible. Sad story.
00:06:17But he fought back.
00:06:19Oh, she tortured him.
00:06:21Slapped him.
00:06:23[Squeaking] Poked his eyes out, like this.
00:06:27It was horrible!
00:06:29It was the worst thing I've ever seen!
00:06:31Oh, the humanity! Ahh!
00:06:33Elliot, are you maybe putting a little bit too much on that?
00:06:36Listen, Boog, I'm telling the story.
00:06:39And finally, the hairless blob dragged him off into her chariot of horror!
00:06:45[All gasp] Wait, wait, wait. So, what you're saying is-- Mr. Weenie's been kidnapped! No.
00:06:51For real? Yes, it's true.
00:06:54Tough break. I miss him already. What now?
00:06:56Well, uh, we could finish the ceremony. Come on.
00:06:58I worked hard on those centerpieces.
00:07:01As much as Elliot and I wanna finish the ceremony, we need to go after Mr. Weenie. Giselle's right!
00:07:05And until he's back in the safety of our friends and family, in the warm caress of our bosoms, there will be, there can be no celebration.
00:07:14[CAR TIRES SCREECH] So, what can we do?
00:07:18Probably halfway to the valley's end by now.
00:07:20So? We can't give up.
00:07:21We didn't give up on them hunters when they raided the forest.
00:07:24We can't give up on our friend, Weenie.
00:07:25The Boogster's right. Who's with me?
00:07:27Oh, yeah. Count me in.
00:07:30Me too. Okay. Good. Who else is in?
00:07:31I am beelin' at them bajins. So let's quit bumpin' the gums and give 'em a right chibbin'!
00:07:39I'm not sure what the Squizmeister just said, but I'll take that as a yes.
00:07:45Yes! It's a yes! I'm in too.
00:07:47Me too. I'm with you, buddy.
00:07:49Uh, sorry, I got the wife and kids.
00:07:51You know, you turn your back on those pelts for one second, all heck breaks loose. I'm out.
00:07:56Oh, leave itto the beaver.
00:07:58In your dreams. I just had my nails done, girl.
00:07:59Sounds fun, but I gotta stay back and protect the herd.
00:08:02You're all a bunch of meek-minded, yellow-bellied, pansy-a-- As, uh, McSquizzy is trying to say, heh, a smaller group is probably better anyway.
00:08:14We can move faster. Let's get a move on.
00:08:16Move out, boys. Hut, hut, hut, hut...
00:08:18Um, Elliot? Yeah?
00:08:21Um... You're going the wrong way, you big daftie!
00:08:25I know that. Fall in.
00:08:26Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.
00:08:28[♪♪♪♪♪♪] Oh, Mr. Weenie, we've been looking for you for so long. [WHIMPERS] It must've been horrible out there all alone in the wild.
00:08:41[Kissing] Oh, no one's gonna believe it.
00:08:44Should I call the caravan, Bob? Oh-- Breaker, breaker, Fox Jaws.
00:08:49This is Mudflaps and Wild Man.
00:08:51WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Copy that. Over.
00:08:54You'll never guess.
00:08:55Wend Mr. Weenie. It's true!
00:08:56Say hello, Mr. Weenie. [WHIMPERS] Did you hear that?
00:09:02Ha, ha. Congrats, Mudflaps. Good to hear!
00:09:03[Bob clears throat] What's that, Bob? Oh, Wild Man says we need to make a pit stop for a fill-up.
00:09:09We'll see you over at the campground.
00:09:13Breaker, breaker, happy travelers.
00:09:15Put your ears on. I've got great news!
00:09:17Mudflaps and Wild Man found their long-lost weenie dog!
00:09:22[People cheering] Oh, man, is this good.
00:09:29Hey, Fifi. You want some?
00:09:32You know, Roberto. Those doggy treats are filled with carbohydrates.
00:09:38And if I could pronounce that word, that would mean what?
00:09:42It would mean you should stick to the lean proteins: the meats, the poultries.
00:09:48How are you gonna look sitting by the pool?
00:09:49I don't know. Hot and really happy.
00:09:52That was rhetorical, moron.
00:09:54Put down the treats.
00:09:56You've eaten enough.
00:10:00I'm going to pretend I didn't see that.
00:10:09Uh... Hey, Fifi?
00:10:15How long do you think it'll be till we stop?
00:10:17'Cause I gotta poop.
00:10:19[Sighs] [farts] Seriously, I gotta poop really bad.
00:10:27I said that it was going to be a long ride, but you never listen.
00:10:32Just like you didn't listen when I told you not to eat the entire leftover burrito grande.
00:10:35[BARKING] Huh?
00:10:38Now, you know what this means I have to do.
00:10:40Gosh, darn.
00:10:43Every time we leave the house, you put me through-- [BARKING] Fifi!
00:10:47Fifi, stop!
00:10:48Do you hear me? Come on. Help a brother out.
00:10:49What on earth has gotten into that dog?
00:10:52[Sighs] You know I hate doing this.
00:10:56Yeah. But you do it so well.
00:10:59Can you hurry it along?
00:11:01Oh, there you are, baby Fifi.
00:11:02One pit stop, coming up.
00:11:06[Gagging] [vomits] WOMAN: Oh, gross!
00:11:11No, Fifi. No.
00:11:13WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Oh. Breaker, breaker.
00:11:14This is Fox Jaws.
00:11:16One of my little yappers just served up a can of gut soup, and, ooh, we are talking chunky.
00:11:22Let's pull off. Over.
00:11:24FOX JAWS: Come on, you dumb cat. Get off the road!
00:11:27You two run along while I get cleaned up.
00:11:30Out of my way. Out of my way.
00:11:33I don't wanna be rude, but I gotta go.
00:11:34Stanley, old buddy. Oh. Here we go.
00:11:36Stanley, it's been ages.
00:11:39Actually, it's been exactly one year, Roger.
00:11:42Really? It seems like such a long time.
00:11:45Oh, I have to explain this again?
00:11:49Okay, listen. We go to Pet Paradiso every year at the same time.
00:11:53And, painfully, we have this same conversation.
00:11:57We do? Yes. Yes, we do.
00:11:59Is this ringing a bell?
00:12:03Stanley, it's been ages.
00:12:06It's gonna be a long week.
00:12:08Oh, Rufus. There you are.
00:12:11How's my shining star?
00:12:14Why, Charlene, look at you.
00:12:16Don't you look prettier than a glob of butter on a stack of wheat cakes.
00:12:20Mm, mm, mm. Oh, goodness me.
00:12:22Thank you, Rufus. Oh, may I?
00:12:24Well, I'd be much obliged.
00:12:27[Sniffs] Hey, Fifi. Did you hear they found Mr. Weenie?
00:12:30Isn't that great? Really?
00:12:32Are you sure?
00:12:34I heard he lived with wild animals.
00:12:35No. That's horrible.
00:12:38He's lucky they didn't hurt him.
00:12:39Or kill him.
00:12:42I was once in the vicious clutches of wild animals.
00:12:44You were? I was.
00:12:48What was it like?
00:12:49It's too painful for me to talk about.
00:12:54Gather round.
00:12:56Okay, Fifi. You want the squeaky toy?
00:12:58FIFI: There I was.
00:13:00All alone. You want it?
00:13:02Alone in that steaming jungle.
00:13:03That unforgivable heart of darkness, where you can't see your own paws.
00:13:07And the only sound is the frantic, but adorable, pitter-patter of your own heart.
00:13:14When suddenly...
00:13:16[Chirps] [caws] [gnawing] They were everywhere.
00:13:24There was no escape.
00:13:28My life flashed before my eyes, and then the unspeakable.
00:13:30[Buzzing] What happened? Did you live? What happened?!
00:13:35I'll show you...
00:13:41Let this be a lesson to you all.
00:13:43[All gasp] How ghastly. Oh. It's so pink.
00:13:46That is one sad tail.
00:13:50I want a girlfriend.
00:13:51Don't interrupt now. Please?
00:13:52I lost two things on that day: my innocence...
00:13:56and my squeaky toy.
00:13:59[GASPS] Oh, you poor, sweet thing.
00:14:01[Sniffing] Speak of the devil.
00:14:10Oh, no.
00:14:12Not the fuzzy little bunny.
00:14:13Don't you understand? We must remain vigilant.
00:14:15Even one wild animal among us can send us back to those dark days of anarchy.
00:14:24ROBERTO: Come on. But he's so cute.
00:14:26Pay attention.
00:14:28Even one little fuzzy bunny can infest us all.
00:14:30Like the fleas on Roberto's back, they must all be eradicated.
00:14:35[Barking] I'm gonna tear you apart.
00:14:39[♪♪♪♪♪♪] [Growls] Fifi! Heel!
00:14:44No. [PANTING] One day, you vile little beast.
00:14:50One day, I will personally teach you a lesson you will never forget!
00:14:56I'm coming, Mother. [SIGHS] [♪♪♪♪♪♪] McSQUIZZY: Hey, does anybody know where we are?
00:15:04Eh. Didn't think so.
00:15:06Isn't this great, Boog? What's great?
00:15:07You know, not great that Weenie's been kidnapped, but great that we're living life on the edge.
00:15:14It's just like old times.
00:15:16Two guys, out on the road. Hey, guys.
00:15:18Room for one more? For sure.
00:15:20So...Elliot, now that we have a moment alone...
00:15:25[Clears throat] Oh. Heh.
00:15:29Hey. What's that?
00:15:31I-I've been thinking a lot about what happened at the ceremony this morning.
00:15:35What do you mean?
00:15:37Well, while I was saying, "I do," you were looking like you didn't.
00:15:43Giselle, don't be ridiculous.
00:15:44Look, Elliot, I know something is bothering you.
00:15:46Ever since the ceremony, you've been acting a little...
00:15:52We're partners. You can tell me anything.
00:15:53All right, Giselle. But remember, you asked.
00:15:55Basically, I'm worried about "forever and ever." "Forever and ever?" About Mr. Weenie being lost forever and ever.
00:16:03So this has nothing to do with me.
00:16:07You're only worried about Mr. Weenie, right? Yes, I am.
00:16:12But I'm mostly worried about you and me, our special day, and getting back to the ceremony.
00:16:18But finding Mr. Weenie could take a long, long time.
00:16:21Could take months, really. I mean, years, perhaps.
00:16:24A lifetime.
00:16:27Found him. Huh?
00:16:29There he is. No way.
00:16:30He's over there. She found him.
00:16:31Oh, way to go, Giselle. Giselle.
00:16:33What luck. Huh, Elliot?
00:16:35We'll be back home and married in no time.
00:16:37Well, I mean, that could be another RV, you know.
00:16:40There's Mr. Weenie in the window.
00:16:42BOOG: He's waving at us.
00:16:44Here I am! BUDDY: Hi, weenie.
00:16:45He's-- That's a totally different dog.
00:16:46Nope. That's him. We better keep looking.
00:16:49Whoa. Come back. You know we gotta go get him out of there.
00:16:52Help! Help! ELLIOT: I just-- What was the question?
00:16:56All right, here's the plan. No, no. That's all wrong.
00:16:57Squizmeister, you and Buddy will be the entry team.
00:17:00Roger. Serge, Deni.
00:17:02Smash and grab. Boog, you're with me.
00:17:04Let's limit the casualties.
00:17:06All right. What about me? What can I do?
00:17:08Well, yeah, that's right. Uh, what-- Uh-- You stay there and guard the trees.
00:17:12Really? That's the best you could do?
00:17:15No, Elliot. Wait.
00:17:17Hi there, folks. I'd like to offer