The Three Stooges - Hugs and Mugs   View more episodes

Aired at 07:35 AM on Sunday, May 09, 2010 (5/9/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:08:42[ Music ] [ Three Stooges Theme ] >> Larry: Three spades.
00:09:26>> Moe: Five hearts!
00:09:27I double.
00:09:28>> I re-double!
00:09:29>> I triple!
00:09:31>> You can't triple!
00:09:33>> Can triple!
00:09:34>> Who's in there?
00:09:35>> Curly: Nobody.
00:09:35Just us horses!
00:09:40>> Would you "horses" mind getting out?
00:09:43>> Why soitenly, pal!
00:09:44I'll call the other horses!
00:09:46Hey, moe!
00:09:47Hey, larry!
00:09:48>> What's the matter?
00:09:50>> Quick, moe, tickle the mule!
00:09:52>> Kick jenny, kick!
00:09:57Take it easy, boys!
00:10:02>> Why, you-- woo-woo-woo-woo!
00:10:11Woo-woo-woo-woo-- >> oh, what are you doing?
00:10:19You big brutes!
00:10:21Oh, little poor darling!
00:10:22Are you all right?
00:10:44>> Whew!
00:10:45That was a close shave!
00:10:47>> Now what do we do?
00:10:48>> Ya lunkhead!
00:10:48If you hadn'ta opened that freight car door, we'da been sittin' pretty!
00:10:51>> What are you mugs doin' here?
00:10:54>> Well, we kinda got crossed up wi-- >> whaddaya want?
00:10:56>> He's lookin' for work!
00:10:58>> Oh, no!
00:10:59>> Okay!
00:11:00We need sparrin' partners!
00:11:01Fight a few rounds with "kid pinky" and I'll give ya five bucks.
00:11:05Come on, boys-- back to work.
00:11:06>> Ha, ha!
00:11:07>> Five bucks!
00:11:08>> Hiya, boss.
00:11:11>> One round and we eat!
00:11:12Oh, boy!
00:11:13>> I'm no fighter!
00:11:14I won't do it!
00:11:15>> Put up your hands!
00:11:16>> Ooh!
00:11:24>> Wait a minute, wait a minute!
00:11:26If I'm gonna get beat up, I wanna get paid for it!
00:11:28>> Okay!
00:11:32>> Ha-ha-ha!
00:11:36Your guys is a riot!
00:11:43That's very funny!
00:11:47>> Hey, bustoff, will you go on and get your workout?
00:11:49You're wrestlin' for the championship tonight!
00:11:51>> Sure, sure!
00:11:55You know, I like you guys!
00:12:01>> Get undressed.
00:12:01"Kid pinky's" waitin'.
00:12:03>> Okay-- come on!
00:12:07>> Ooh!
00:12:14>> Where are those guys?
00:12:16>> Come on, you guys!
00:12:19>> Come on, butch!
00:12:25Who am I gonna fight?
00:12:26There he is over there.
00:12:27>> Kid Pinky: Ha-ha-ha!
00:12:29>> Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
00:12:30He'll be duck soup.
00:12:32I won't need this!
00:12:33Hold that.
00:12:37>> Give 'im the "untied shoe" gag.
00:12:38Yeah, when he bends over, ugnh!
00:12:40>> Don't worry.
00:12:40Go on, feel that.
00:12:41>> Yeah, swell.
00:12:42Go ahead.
00:12:42>> Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
00:12:43Come on, shorty!
00:12:47>> They're off!
00:12:50>> Your shoe's untied!
00:12:52Oooh-- oooh-hoo-- ohh!
00:12:54>> Ha-ha-ha!
00:12:56The joke's on you.
00:12:56It isn't untied!
00:12:59>> Come on, kid, surround 'em!
00:13:00Do your stuff now-- come on!
00:13:01He can't hurt a baby!
00:13:02Come on!
00:13:04>> Nyuk, nyuk-- oh!
00:13:06>> Ha-ha-ha!
00:13:13>> Man the lifeboats!
00:13:14Women and children first!
00:13:19>> Ha-ha-ha!
00:13:20>> What's the matter witchoo?
00:13:21>> Say, what's the idea?
00:13:23>> Now, now, don't get soft, boys!
00:13:24I like youse guys!
00:13:25Get dressed, and we'll go out and drink and eat, and see a lot of pretty girls!
00:13:30>> Can we have turkey?
00:13:31>> Sure!
00:13:32Oh-- turkey and anything you want!
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00:16:44>> waiter: WILL YOU GENTLEMEN Have desse >> all together: YEAH, Another turkey!
00:16:49>> You cover those bets?
00:16:50>> You bet I did.
00:16:52>> Well, here's mud in your eye.
00:16:58>> There they are and bustoff's drinkin'!
00:17:04>> What's the idea?
00:17:09>> Bustoff: Why, you!
00:17:10I oughta break your nose!
00:17:11I oughta take you!
00:17:12>> Woooo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo-woo!
00:17:14>> Look out!
00:17:15I'll show ya!
00:17:16Ya throw my drinks away, would ya?
00:17:20I'll fix you!
00:17:22>> Listen, you!
00:17:23I rt bet on bustoff to win a wrestlin' match tonight, and you mugs got him out gettin' him stewed!
00:17:28>> Curley: Yeah, but he's payin' for it!
00:17:30>> Moe: Shaddup!
00:17:31>> Shut up yourself and listen!
00:17:32You're gonna stop bustoff's drinkin', you're gonna get him to the stadium tonight sober, and ready to wrestle.
00:17:38>> Larry: Yeah, what if he won't come?
00:17:41>> Kid him into it!
00:17:42He likes you mugs!
00:17:43>> And if you make good, I'll give ya a hundred bucks.
00:17:45>> all: A HUNDRED BUCKS?
00:17:46>> Yeah!
00:17:47And if you don't-- you get a hundred slugs!
00:17:52>> Don't worry, boss!
00:17:53We'll have him there!
00:17:55>> Ahh!
00:17:58>> Leave it to me.
00:17:58I'll handle 'im.
00:17:59Come on!
00:18:03Sten, bustoff, you can't drink that!
00:18:05That's alcohol!
00:18:06>> No, that's not alcohol.
00:18:08That's just a little tequila, vodka and cognac!
00:18:11>> Oh, that's different!
00:18:13Go ahead!
00:18:14>> Well, here's a go!
00:18:36>> Ya fixed everything!
00:18:37>> You like it?
00:18:38>> Yeah!
00:18:39>> Ohh!
00:18:54Hey, moe, wild hyacinth!
00:18:57>> Cork that up, lady!
00:18:58The smell of wild hyacinth perfume drives him wild!
00:19:01Take it easy, kid!
00:19:03Take it easy!
00:19:04>> Quick, larry, tickle his foot-- it's the only way we can quiet him-- come on.
00:19:09Take it easy!
00:19:11>> Hey!
00:19:12That's very funny!
00:19:15>> Moe, larry!
00:19:16Tickle my foot!
00:19:17>> His foot!
00:19:18>> Okay!
00:19:20>> Moe, larry!
00:19:21Tickle my foot!
00:19:24Not that foot-- the other one!
00:19:41>> There!
00:19:42Now let's get bustoff and get outta here.
00:19:45>> Ohh!
00:19:46Come on!
00:19:47>> Hey, bartender!
00:19:49Give us a drink th-- argh!
00:19:55>> Look at bustoff.
00:19:56He's out cold!
00:19:57>> Hey, bustoff!
00:19:58Hey, bustoff!
00:19:59>> Uh, a drink there-- >> pick him up, take him over to the stadium.
00:20:02We gotta get him in shape.
00:20:03Hurry up!
00:20:05Take bustoff, too!
00:20:06All right, there.
00:20:07>> Now you fellas go on and get out of here!
00:20:09>> All right!
00:20:10Mind your business!
00:20:12>> And stay out!
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00:23:46>> Moe: We'd better bring him to, or it'll just be too bad, fellas.
00:23:49Keep workin' on him.
00:23:50I got an idea.
00:23:53Rub this ice on his chest.
00:23:57>> Larry: Ooh!
00:24:00Hey, what's the matter witchoo?
00:24:04>> Curley: Oh!
00:24:07>> Speak to us, busty!
00:24:10>> Bustoff's a-cinchin' and he can't lose!
00:24:12>> But suppose-- " >> who's that?
00:24:15>> Go see!
00:24:16>> Hurry up and place that bet, frank!
00:24:20>> Quick fellas.
00:24:20It's the boss!
00:24:21>> Come here!
00:24:28>> And so, the big chief went riding through the woods, and he met two little indians.
00:24:33>> Woob-woob-woob!
00:24:34>> Quiet!
00:24:36What's the matter?
00:24:37How's bustoff?
00:24:38>> Shh!
00:24:39He's sleeping like a little lamb.
00:24:40>> That's great, that's great.
00:24:42He's on after this bout.