That '70s Show - Do You Think It's Alright?   View more episodes

Aired at 05:00 PM on Friday, Mar 26, 2010 (3/26/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:00" you're done registering already?
00:00:11You men, you just don't know how to shop.
00:00:13You know, your father once tried to get me to buy a couch with dragons on it.
00:00:22I guess I'm just bad at it.
00:00:32what do you think of this fork?
00:00:35Donna, I think all this stuff is too ordinary for us, you know?
00:00:39Let's get something bejeweled.
00:00:47Who are you-- liberace?
00:00:52I'm liberace.
00:00:55Eric, this wedding is-- hey, guys. what's up?
00:00:59Oh, hey.
00:01:00We were just talking about slutty cheerleaders in other schools.
00:01:05You never want to talk about that.
00:01:07Well, I've finally come around, darling.
00:01:10Oh! are those wedding gift catalogs?
00:01:12Damn it.
00:01:13For our wedding, steven and i-- jackie, no.
00:01:15Steven, we have to-- no.
00:01:18A good bride and groom-- now why didn't someone do that five years ago?
00:01:35She used to bite.
00:01:39Now this, ok, this is what I'm talking about.
00:01:42That's a nice fork.
00:01:43Eric, the handle is an actual deer hoof.
00:01:47Yeah, that's the cherokee collection.
00:01:50Donna, that's the indian way.
00:01:53They kill the animal, then eat it with its own paw.
00:01:58Ok, you know what? I have a new plan.
00:02:01I'll just go shopping, and then I'll show you what I pick.
00:02:04So I don't get to go at all?
00:02:10I'll just do it myself.
00:02:17I guess I'm just bad at it.
00:02:25(Reading) "AFTER THROWING THE EVIL PIRATE King overboard, "the duke turned to lady daphne, "pulled his sword from its sheath "and held it erect.
00:02:36"Lady daphne touched it tentatively, " so you like those books, too, mr. red.
00:02:48All right, fine. so you know.
00:02:50But you tell one person, and so help me god, I will chop down whatever tree you live in.
00:03:02so I was daydreaming during this civil rights lecture at the police academy, and I came up with a great idea for an invention-- adult strollers.
00:03:19Why walk when someone can push you?
00:03:23Kelso, that's a wheelchair.
00:03:27All right, it's official.
00:03:28Everything's been thought of!
00:03:30All right, what do you think of this fork?
00:03:32Whoa. no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:03:34You're not gonna rope me into that.
00:03:37Just make eric do it.
00:03:38No, eric's banned from doing it.
00:03:40He actually wanted me to eat dinner with bambi's foot.
00:03:44What is this, the cherokee collection?
00:03:46Oh, well, he picked the ugliest one so you wouldn't make him go shopping.
00:03:52It's classic.
00:03:56I knew something was fishy.
00:03:58He's terrified of indians.
00:04:01Oh, he's gonna pay for this.
00:04:02He thought he had a bad time the other day?
00:04:05He doesn't know what a bad time is.
00:04:07I am gonna stop having sex with him.
00:04:10Oh, crap, I already did that.
00:04:13All right, look, I hate to sell him out, but the poor kid lacks subtlety.
00:04:18.. eric's...
00:04:20.. oh, he's a bit of a rube.
00:04:24You know, like, a little country.
00:04:27A maroon, if you will.
00:04:32Kelso, what's your point?
00:04:33Well, I'm just saying you could do better.
00:04:35I mean, I'm here, you're here.
00:04:39(Whispers) NOBODY HAS TO KNOW.
00:04:43Ok, fine, you can tell two friends.
00:04:53so I invested $11 in kelso's adult stroller idea.
00:04:59I'm going to be a millionaire.
00:05:03So, uh, if I buy one, like, who's gonna push me around?
00:05:09Trained bears.
00:05:11Kelso's got it all figured out.
00:05:13I'm just the money man.
00:05:16Hey, guys, where's donna?
00:05:18I found this place that etches your silhouette on your china.
00:05:21Oh, we are so doing that when we get married.
00:05:24Steven, people can eat right off my face.
00:05:29Then guess who's coming to dinner.
00:05:34Jackie, you're driving me insane.
00:05:36Look, I want you to make me a promise.
00:05:39You will not talk about weddings or anything wedding-related in or around the united states.
00:05:45Fine, I won't talk about weddings or anything wedding-related in or around the continental united states.
00:05:51Not the continental united states.
00:05:54We're talking hawaii and alaska, too.
00:05:57Fine, but if we're ever in canada, I am going nuts!
00:06:01Eric, bad news.
00:06:03A deejay at the radio station got sick, so I have to cover his shift all week.
00:06:06I'm not gonna be able to register for wedding gifts.
00:06:09 well, I guess we'll just have to live with whatever forks come in the mail willy-nilly.
00:06:16Well, actually, you're gonna have to shop for everything.
00:06:19Wait, wait. back up here.
00:06:20Who are you calling willy-nilly?
00:06:24Look, uh, donna, I can't shop.
00:06:27I have horrible taste, remember?
00:06:30" you are almost unbelievably bad at it.
00:06:36And that's why I've decided jackie will go shopping with you.
00:06:41Ohh! yay!
00:06:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:06:46You promised hyde that you wouldn't do any more wedding stuff.
00:06:49Yeah, but here's the thing about me--i lie.