The Andy Griffith Show - Opie and His Merry Men   View more episodes

Aired at 03:00 PM on Tuesday, Nov 30, 2010 (11/30/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:23Don't shoot, men.
00:00:24We wouldn't shoot you, mister.
00:00:25What are you boys supposed to be?
00:00:27We're playing robin hood.
00:00:29I'm robin hood.
00:00:30Oh, you are, huh?
00:00:31We all saw the movie on television.
00:00:33But had to quit in the middle 'cause it was our bedtime.
00:00:36So none of us knows how it ends.
00:00:37.. I know the story of robin hood.
00:00:41You do? really?
00:00:42Sure. robin hood and his merry men? sure.
00:00:44Would you tell us about him?
00:00:46I'd be glad to.
00:00:47Well, now, let's see, robin hood and his merry men.
00:00:51Say, fellas, I wish I could invite you to have some lunch with me but all I got here is some mulligan stew and not too much of that.
00:00:59We brought our own lunch.
00:01:00Boy: Yeah, we're cooking it back in the woods.
00:01:05What you got?
00:01:06Well, it's just weinies.
00:01:08Boy: And root beer.
00:01:09Weinies and root beer?
00:01:10Is that so?
00:01:12Say, I got an idea.
00:01:13Why don't you boys run on back, bring your stuff over here and we'll have ourselves a barbecue-- robin hood style.
00:01:21What do you say?
00:01:22Yeah! let's go!
00:01:26I hope I'm not depriving you boys.
00:01:29Nah. it's okay.
00:01:30We can always get plenty more hot dogs at home.
00:01:33Mm, good, good.
00:01:35Tell us more about robin hood.
00:01:36Well, the great thing about robin hood was that he was always doing good deeds.
00:01:41That's what made him famous.
00:01:42Yep, he took from the rich and he gave to the poor.
00:01:45Any of your folks rich, hmm, boys?
00:01:49Opie: I don't know.
00:01:50Me either.
00:01:51Man: If you was poor, you'd know it.
00:01:52Wouldn't even know where your next meal was coming from.
00:01:56Well, you take me.
00:01:57I'm poor, but I ain't complainin'.
00:01:58On account I got a bad leg, couldn't get any work.
00:02:03What happened to your leg?
00:02:04Well, I don't like to talk about it much ..
00:02:09-- that's a railroad-- a fireman on a locomotive.
00:02:14And one day, I saw a little baby crawling along the track.
00:02:19A baby! so what did I do?
00:02:21I jumped out of that cab and I ran down the track, ahead of the train and I grabbed up that baby, and I flung it.
00:02:28No foolin'? gosh!
00:02:30Yep, I flung that baby right into a pile of nice, soft leaves.
00:02:33But me-- well, I didn't make out so good.
00:02:37What happened?
00:02:38That's what happened-- a multiple fracture of the patella oblongata.
00:02:42Boy: W-what's that?
00:02:44A game leg.
00:02:47Shucks, I don't want any credit for that.
00:02:50The baby was all right?
00:02:51 that baby today is president of a supermarket.
00:02:55You think he ever took the trouble to thank me?
00:02:59No, sir.
00:03:00Rich folks have short memories.
00:03:02That's why I'm with robin hood.
00:03:03'Cause he takes from the rich and he gives to the deservin' poor.
00:03:07That's how they got in trouble with the sheriff.
00:03:09How is that, now?
00:03:10The sheriff of nottingham.
00:03:12He was the bad guy.
00:03:13Don't you remember?
00:03:14Oh, yeah. that's right.
00:03:15That's sheriffs for you.
00:03:16And I had my share of troubles with them.
00:03:19What kind of trouble?
00:03:20They're always after us poor folks after us to keep on the move.
00:03:23They're just after us all the time, never let us be-- after us,afterus.
00:03:28His pa's the sheriff.
00:03:31He ain't.
00:03:32He is, too-- sheriff of mayberry.
00:03:34Oh, he ain't a bad guy.
00:03:38Look, son.
00:03:39Now, there is sheriffs and there is sheriffs.
00:03:42The thing is about sheriffs-- well, they take their job too serious.
00:03:46I bet your paw does, too.
00:03:48Well, he ain't a bad guy.
00:03:50Man: Of course he ain't.
00:03:51And you ain't gonna fix it so he acts like one, are ya?
00:03:58That's good.
00:03:59Maybe you shouldn't tell him anything about me at all or about my little place here 'cause he might not understand like you do, okay?
00:04:10(chuckles) You know something?
00:04:14This is the first square meal I've had since I don't know when.
00:04:17And to think that I've got robin hood and his merry men to thank for it.
00:04:26What are we doing here?
00:04:28We forgot something.
00:04:31I ain't said grace.
00:04:33Bow your heads, everybody.
00:04:36For what we are about to receive may we be truly thankful.
00:04:40And make us mindful of the needs of others.
00:04:55Are we rich?
00:04:58You don't get rich bein' a sheriff.
00:05:00You get investigated if you do.
00:05:04That's right.
00:05:05Well, are we poor?
00:05:08No, we're not poor.
00:05:10I'd say we're better off than a lot of people.
00:05:13Got a roof over our heads, aunt bee finest food you ever put in your mouth barney for a friend.
00:05:19(chuckles) .. in some ways, I'd say we are rich.
00:05:24Barney: You see, ope it ain't only the materialistic things in this world that makes a person rich.
00:05:30There's love and friendship.
00:05:31That can make a person rich.
00:05:33Very nicely put, barney.
00:05:35I don't believe I ever heard that said any better.
00:05:38Paw, why are sheriffs against poor folks?
00:05:41Where'd you ever get an idea like that?
00:05:44Well, the sheriff inrobin hood-- that sheriff of nottingham-- he was a bad guy.
00:05:48He was always chasing robin hood 'cause he helped the poor folks.
00:05:53Well, it's been a long time since I readrobin hood but it just might be there's another side to that story.
00:05:59Don't believe everything you read, ope.
00:06:03Andy: You see, son the sheriffs don't make the laws, they just enforce 'em.
00:06:05Sometimes they have unpleasant duties to perform.
00:06:09It's part of the job.
00:06:10You see, ope, ours is not to reason why; .. make out citations.
00:06:17(laughter) " can I go outside and play?
00:06:23You didn't finish your supper.
00:06:25I'm full, paw.
00:06:26Well, go ahead.
00:06:27Don't stay too long.
00:06:29Be gettin' dark soon.
00:06:37Well, if it ain't robin hood.
00:06:38I thought you'd all forgotten me.
00:06:41We didn't forget ya.
00:06:42You had your supper yet?
00:06:43Supper? huh! that's for rich folks.
00:06:44I don't even know where my breakfast is coming from-- why?
00:06:48We brought you something.
00:06:51Fats brought you a whole ham.
00:06:53What's this?
00:06:54A ham? a whole ham?
00:06:56(chuckles) I brought turkey.
00:06:58Only half 'cause we ate the rest.
00:07:00Well, that's all right, son.
00:07:02And I brought you fruit and vegetables.
00:07:03And I brought you this-- apple pie, fresh-baked.
00:07:09Apple pie.
00:07:10Robin hood would be mighty proud of you boys.
00:07:14Mighty proud.
00:07:15This is a fine town, mayberry.
00:07:17I see I'm gonna like it here 'cause I got friends here.
00:07:22And friends is everything.
00:07:24Ain't you gonna say grace?
00:07:26Hmm? oh, yes, yes.
00:07:27I always say grace.
00:07:29For what we are about to receive may we be truly thankful.
00:07:33And make us mindful of the needs of others.
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00:11:01hello, andy.
00:11:02Hi, aunt bee.
00:11:03Hello, barney.
00:11:03Andy, did you take a pie from home this morning?
00:11:07I've lost my apple pie.
00:11:08Well, I didn't take it.
00:11:10This is strange.
00:11:10 pruitt calls said somebody's walked off with half a turkey.
00:11:14 jason called and said somebody's raided her fruit- and-vegetable bin.
00:11:18 miss porter just said somebody took a whole ham.
00:11:21Good heavens, who do you think it is?
00:11:25I don't know.
00:11:25You know what I think it is?
00:11:28I think it's a fox.
00:11:29A fox?
00:11:30Yeah, a fox-- come down out of the hills.
00:11:32We've had this dry spell.
00:11:33They come out of the hills for food and water.
00:11:36That's what it is.
00:11:37Hungry fox forging around.
00:11:39A fox?
00:11:40For goodness sake.
00:11:41A fox, loose here in mayberry?
00:11:49A fox, huh?
00:11:50Yeah, fox.
00:11:51Will you answer me one thing?
00:11:54How can a fox open a refrigerator door?
00:11:59Well, what do you think it is?
00:12:00That fox thing was just a theory.
00:12:02What's your theory?
00:12:03I don't know for sure, but remember how opie turned down that piece of pie last night?
00:12:08Yeah, so?
00:12:09Last night, that pie was in the icebox.
00:12:11This morning after opie went to school, i didn't see it.
00:12:13And those ladies that called to say something was missing all got young'uns that play with opie.
00:12:20Well, I don't want to jump to conclusions but it won't hurt to talk with opie.
00:12:24He ought to be along after a while.
00:12:26You're going to have a talk with him?
00:12:28I'll ask him if he knows anything.
00:12:30You're just gonna come right out and ask him?
00:12:32That's the quickest way to find out, isn't it?
00:12:35That's the quickest waynotto find out.
00:12:37Andy, you know kids better than that.
00:12:38If he's hidin' somethin', 'll just clam up.
00:12:41You got to catch 'em off their guard.
00:12:43You gonna start that again?
00:12:44With you, he'll have his guard up.
00:12:48Oh, come on.
00:12:49Kind of casual, like out of left field.
00:12:50I'm pretty good at interrogatin', you know.
00:12:53I know just how I'd do it, too.
00:12:55That won't do any good.
00:12:56Wanna know how?
00:12:57I'd distract him.
00:12:58Get his mind on somethin' like a game-- say, checkers.
00:13:00And then while he was concentratin' on the game I'd just casually ask him some questions and he'd just casually answer.
00:13:06Maybe that's the way you'ddo it.
00:13:09I got to go to the bank.
00:13:11If opie comes by tell him to wait for me.
00:13:13That's the way you do it.
00:13:15Just tell him to wait for me, okay?
00:13:22Oh, hi, ope.
00:13:23Hi, barney.
00:13:24Paw here?
00:13:25No, he had to step out for somethin'.
00:13:28I see you're through with the old school for today, huh?
00:13:33Ready for a little recreation now, I suppose, hmm?
00:13:37Yeah, all set for a little ball game ..
00:13:42Hey! how 'bout a game of checkers?
00:13:45Would you like that?
00:13:46Not especially.
00:13:47Aw, sure you would.
00:13:48Great game, checkers.
00:13:49Gets your mind off things.
00:13:51It's a lot of fun.
00:13:52Sit down there, and let's see if you can beat ol' barn in a game of checkers.
00:13:55That'd really be somethin', wouldn't it?
00:13:57If you could beat ol' barn?
00:13:58All right, you make the first move.
00:14:01I warn you now I ain't gonna show you no mercy.
00:14:04Well, that's a pretty foxy move.
00:14:07(sighs) Speaking of foxy porter last night?
00:14:13Sneakin' in there and, uh, takin' a ham.
00:14:17Pretty good, huh?
00:14:19Wonder who did that anyway.
00:14:22You got to jump me, barney.
00:14:25Oh, yeah.
00:14:26I, uh, heard they pulled another pretty good one down the street from her.
00:14:32Got away with a turkey.
00:14:34I thought maybe .. might have heard about that.
00:14:41King me.
00:14:47Barney, why is it some folks got everything, seems like and other folks got nothin'?
00:14:52That ain't fair, is it?
00:14:54Huh? no, it isn't.
00:14:55It's your move, ope.
00:14:56So what's wrong about takin', you know, like a ham or a turkey or a pie even and givin' it to somebody who's hungry?
00:15:02That's what robin hood did, wasn't it?
00:15:05So what's wrong about that?
00:15:09Yeah, yeah, yeah. move, ope.
00:15:11You think paw'd be mad if I told him?
00:15:14There's this friend of ours-- he lives out in the woods.
00:15:17He has a bad leg and nothing to eat.
00:15:19But he made us promise.
00:15:20And when you promise somethin', you're supposed to keep it.
00:15:24I know, I know.
00:15:25Are you gonna talk or play?
00:15:30Opie: I got you trapped, barney.
00:15:32Looks like you lost.
00:15:33Well, of course I lost!
00:15:35How can a person play with you settin' there gabbin' your head off?
00:15:39How'd you make out?
00:15:39I lost, that's how I made out.
00:15:43Hi, paw.
00:15:45Hi, ope.
00:15:46Ope, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want a straight answer.
00:15:50Did you take that apple pie out of the house?
00:15:56Did ya?
00:15:58Yes, paw.
00:16:00Andy: Hmm.
00:16:00There's a few other things been missin' around town like a turkey and a ham and some vegetables and things like that.
00:16:05I don't reckon you'd know anything about them.
00:16:11Now, I'm not going to ask you who stole what.
00:16:15All I want to know is why.
00:16:17We wasn't stealin', paw.
00:16:19Honest, we wasn't.
00:16:20What do you call it then?
00:16:21Taking from the rich to give to the poor.
00:16:24What poor? who you talkin' about?
00:16:26Promise you won't give him trouble.
00:16:28He says sheriffs always give him trouble.
00:16:31Who you talking about?
00:16:32This man.
00:16:33We all met him in sherwood forest-- I mean, out in crouch's woods, down by the lake where us kids play.
00:16:39Andy: And?
00:16:40Well, he was real nice but, gee, he was livin' in this terrible old shack and he was poor-- nothin' to eat.
00:16:45Don't tell me weary willie's back.
00:16:47I run him out of there twice.
00:16:48Oh, this couldn't be him, paw.
00:16:52Why don't you just run down there and see who that is.
00:16:54You just watch me.
00:16:55You can't, paw. don't!
00:16:56I wish you wasn't a sheriff if you gotta be mean like this.
00:17:00Wait a minute.
00:17:00Maybe I better straighten you out on a few things, includin' robin hood.
00:17:03Now, I'm sure they had a lot of fun, those fellas frolickin' around in the woods and poachin' off game wardens and eatin' with their fingers and rescuing damsels in distress and stuff like that and I'm sure you boys enjoy playing at that, too but when it comes to stealin', stealin' is stealin' and it's wrong any way you look at it.
00:17:21It just won't hold up in a court.
00:17:22But, paw, they was robbin' the rich to give to the poor.
00:17:26That's what we did.
00:17:27You just try and tell that to a judge and let me know what he says.
00:17:31" there's just one thing wrong with that and that is that you young'uns are just too young to come to a decision like that which is takin' the law into your own hands.
00:17:41And it's against the law to take the law in your own hands.
00:17:44Paw, we was doin' a good deed.
00:17:46We do that all the time, too.
00:17:47We take from the rich and give to the poor.
00:17:50Only we do it by law, by taxes.
00:17:51Folks that's too old or too sick to take care of themselves and need help-- we give it to 'em.
00:17:57But an able-bodied man ..
00:18:01Maybe a fella is down on his luck but he don't want charity if he's honest.
00:18:04All he wants is a chance to make a livin'.
00:18:10He got hurt saving a baby from a train.
00:18:12He got a fracture of the petula obendalla.
00:18:16What's that?
00:18:17A game leg.
00:18:18Oh, I see.
00:18:20Well, why don't we see if we can help out this friend of yours.
00:18:24Would you, paw?
00:18:25Would you really help him?
00:18:27Why not?
00:18:28You go get your friends.
00:18:28You know, the rest of the merry men?
00:18:30I'm sure they'd like to see that we're going to help your friend.
00:18:34Thanks, paw.
00:18:35It's like he says: There's sheriffs and there's sheriffs.
00:18:38And you ain't a bad guy.
00:18:52What's this?
00:18:53I brought my paw to meet you.
00:18:55You did, huh?
00:18:57I ain't done anything, sheriff.
00:18:59Don't worry.
00:19:00Paw just wants to help you.
00:19:01That's right.
00:19:02And you sure look like a fella who could use some help, too.
00:19:05I tell you what we'll do-- we'll just go into the county employment office.
00:19:08I'm sure they'll have a job for you-- doing roadwork.
00:19:11 I couldn't do any work like that-- the boys will tell you-- on account o' I got a bum leg.
00:19:18Remember, boys, I telled you?
00:19:20Yeah, he saved someone's life.
00:19:21Well, you just tell 'em that and I'm sure they'll have a nice inside job for you.
00:19:25Oh, like maybe settin' behind a desk.
00:19:27Oh, no, no.
00:19:28I couldn't sit behind any desk .. ooh!
00:19:34I can't move.
00:19:38Well, I think I know just the job for you-- being a night watchman.
00:19:42That way, you can stand up or set down or lay down-- kind of change off.
00:19:46Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
00:19:49I couldn't do that.
00:19:51Well, why not?
00:19:51Well, uh, you know, the night work-- it's bad for my leg.
00:19:55.. the night air, it's damp.
00:19:59Goes right into the bones.
00:20:00Well, I'll tell you what I'd suggest.
00:20:02Why don't you come on into town with us?
00:20:04We got a nice room you can stay in till you find the right kind of job.
00:20:08Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that, sheriff.
00:20:15I got all my stuff here and it would take an awful lot of trouble ..
00:20:19It's no trouble.
00:20:20The boys'll be glad to pitch in and help won't you, boys?
00:20:24And we're gonna stay right with you every minute till we find the right kind of job for you and your leg.
00:20:31Andy: Come on, boys, pitch in and get this stuff out of the way.
00:20:35Barney: Come on, let's move.
00:20:48Paw, paw, look!
00:20:49Hey, he ran away.
00:20:50Boy: Look at him go.
00:20:52There's nothing wrong with his leg.
00:20:55No, there isn't, son.
00:20:56He never did have a fracture of the petula obendalla like he said.
00:21:01Andy: No, I guess not.
00:21:02Petula obendalla.
00:21:03He gave himself away as a phony right from the start.
00:21:06Petula obendalla ain't in the leg.
00:21:09It's in the brain.
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00:23:50okay, there's a couple.
00:23:56Can I ask you a question?
00:23:57Go right ahead.
00:24:01You said that already.
00:24:02Well, is it okay if a sheriff tells a lie?
00:24:04I mean, if he's a sheriff.
00:24:07Like offering your friend all those jobs when there weren't all those jobs?
00:24:15Well, that raises a very interesting point, ope.
00:24:19I guess we're gonna have to have another heart-to-heart talk, huh?
00:24:23Well, ope, there's certain times and certain circumstances and, uh, then there's other times ..
00:24:37.. I don't think I've got a leg to stand on.
00:24:41That's okay, paw.
00:24:42I make mistakes myself sometimes.
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