Wife Swap - Tassie/Tyson   View more episodes

Aired at 02:00 PM on Thursday, Jan 28, 2010 (1/28/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:00" my mom doesn't care that I decorate my walls, 'cause she thinks that's how we're expressing ourselves.
00:00:07THIS ONE SAYS, "I'M ONE BAD (bleep)." I can't imagine spending my whole life having to worry about whether my house is perfect.
00:00:15The kids like to sleep in the living room with us.
00:00:18 you have to get up.
00:00:20When you get the girls up, you're gonna get SCREAMED AT. (cries) WHY?
00:00:24No. go get dressed right now.
00:00:26Mike, you're the only kid that's actually getting ready for me.
00:00:28 michael seems to be the most grown-up in the family, and we don't know where he gets that from.
00:00:36Sometimes I do thinki live in a house with a bunch of crazy people.
00:00:42"slob the bounty hunter" todd and his trusty sidekick trevor may have no rules at home, but when it comes to their job, follow the rules or pay the price.
00:00:50If you don't follow the terms, you will be going back to jail.
00:00:53I don't spend so much time with my dad 'cause he works a lot.
00:00:5700 in the morning.
00:00:59I wish I could spend more time with my dad.
00:01:00Let's go eat.
00:01:04With todd's 24/7 schedule, fast food is the meal of choice all day and every day.
00:01:09We eat tacos, burgers, burgers and tacos.
00:01:12(Todd) I'M SURE IF THEREWASFOOD IN THE HOUSE, She would try to burn it-- I mean, cook it.
00:01:15Though she doesn't cook, michelle will drop everything for her kids, even though she sees very little appreciation in return.
00:01:22Every time it seems that i-i get a minute to do something for myself, I have to get up and do something for somebody else.
00:01:29(Todd) HEY, YO. I NEED SOME CLOTHES. I NEED A towel.
00:01:31 I do have an area in my basement that idodo hair.
00:01:36I actually used to work in a salon for a while, but, um, I had to quit, because the kids request a lot.
00:01:43(coughs) MAYBE YOU SHOULDJUST CLOSE YOUR Yapper.
00:01:46It's the day of the swap, and both wives prepare to leave their lives behind.
00:01:51What do they hope to gain from the swap?
00:01:52It might be fun to see how somebody with structure might live.
00:01:56I just hope they still know how to have some fun.
00:01:58 okay, we'll try not to.
00:02:01I think that I can definitely bring them a lot, but I'm extremely confident in the way that I run the household here, so I'm not really sure hey, I wanna come home to a clean house.
00:02:12After a 200-mile journey, the wives finally get to see where they'll be living for the next two weeks.
00:02:19Oh, gosh. they drive in their front yard?
00:02:22They just tore the yard up. it's crazy, crazy.
00:02:25 it looks like they got maybe they're really professional people.
00:02:31Before they meet their new families, the wives get a chance to explore their new homes. it smells really good in here.
00:02:36Wow, does it smell bad in here.
00:02:40Everything's really clean.
00:02:41There's, like, not a speck of dust on anything.
00:02:42I would not go to the bathroom in this bathroom.
00:02:45I would pee outside with the animals first.
00:02:47 I'm assuming this is a vacuum.
00:02:51This actually makes me weak in the knees.
00:02:54The best thing that could happen is the house would burn to the ground, truthfully.
00:02:57I'm already feeling like I'm in the model home of the subdivision, like nobody lives here.
00:03:02Yeah, look at the language that we use in this house.
00:03:05She may think she's the princess, but I am the queen. I got her party girl.
00:03:10For the first week, the wives must live by the rules of their new family.
00:03:15Each wife has written a manual as a guide "i believe parents that are always strict and always have rules are people that have " "we have very strict family rules " oh, trust me, I've lived, and I live a very, very good life.
00:03:30 okay, that sounds like prison.
00:03:33"Having a 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week business " well, that's why there's utter chaos in the house-- because there is no schedule.
00:03:43" that's boring.
00:03:46"The school calls us daily-- on a daily basis, "because mia's shirts are cut too low, " when you got 3 inches of material, of course it is.
00:03:59Whew! nice to meet you.
00:04:01 you're gonna allow her to call me the "b" word?
00:04:05I don't have a problem with-- sinceyouwant to continue to lie and make these crazy faces.
00:04:09I'll say exactly what happenedand tell the truth.
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00:07:48Terri tassie is an uptight taskmaster who trains her kids for success with endless order and constant control.
00:07:53She swapped lives with chaos-loving mom michelle tyson, who lets her family live in total anarchy.
00:07:59The first week, the wives live by their new families' rules.
00:08:02Later, they get to make some changes.
00:08:03This week, we'll eat nothing but takeout.
00:08:04Is it better to be fat than skinny?
00:08:07It's the moment of truth.
00:08:08The two wives are about to come face-to-face with their new husbands and children. hi.
00:08:12Hi. I'm shanie. nice to meet you.
00:08:15Shanie, nice to meet you. hi.
00:08:17Hey, I'm trevor. how are you?
00:08:19Whew! nice to meet you. hi. I'm michelle.
00:08:21 I was noticing you guys have very, very strict, structured days.
00:08:26If there's not some semblance of order, you guys are-- are really cool with that?
00:08:32I wish we could do some more spontaneous things sometimes.
00:08:35They said that they definitely would like to see a little more fun stuff going on, so there's hope.
00:08:43That's where everybody's gonna go at this particular time-- homework, homework, pre-dinner preparation.
00:08:48She has homework to do later.
00:08:49She needs to assimilate in the program. yes.
00:08:50"Excuse me"?
00:08:52"Excuse me, father." excuse me, father.
00:08:54Yes. I do not have any homework.
00:08:56 I said you were gonna go check oh, I thought you said-- when I'm looking for the answer, I'll look to you. okay.
00:09:04I've been around the house.
00:09:05It literally looks like someone opened up your front door, took a backhoe, dumped everything in, and you guys just, like, raked it in piles all over. yeah.
00:09:13I do believe in a clean, tidy home.
00:09:15That's not a priority for you guys.
00:09:16My first impression of terri is she looks like she has a wicked side to her, but she's not relaxed.
00:09:21She's bubble wrapped, and I'm gonna pop the bubble at the tassies', tom immediately sets about keeping the kids and michelle all your silverware's gonna be here, canned goods, trent's down folding clothes, doing laundry, and he has nothing to do.
00:09:37Say, "collin, you can now go help your brother finish the laundry that's in the laundry " okay, collin, you need to go HELP YOUR BROTHER FINISH THE LAUNDRY. (Collin) Okay.
00:09:45Perfect. thank you.
00:09:46I don't understand how this is communicating to your kids.
00:09:52She's gotta be willing to pull the strings and drive the ship, but the minute that she sees the ship going off course, she has to be willing to dive in and bring there's making sure that collin gets everything off the table, making sure that the place mats are wiped DOWN. (Trent) MRS. TYSON WILL HAVE A HARD Time fitting in with team tassie.
00:10:06That's just my opinion, based on my 14 years of living.
00:10:10You go here. you go there. okay.
00:10:13I'll hit you deep.
00:10:14In michigan, it's time for fast food and terri's first taste of tyson-style chaos.
00:10:16Dinner's served.
00:10:20Would you like a napkin? no, thank you.
00:10:22I actually just wiped it on him.
00:10:24(Mia) IT'S BETTER THAN THE COUCHES. WE GOT A bond call.
00:10:27(Autumn) IT WENT DOWN MY SHIRT. WHO'S GONNA Clean that up now?
00:10:30The dog. dad, you don't stop this?
00:10:34(laughing) Food fight at the dinner table, led by the father.
00:10:38Total lack of disciplinein ts house.
00:10:41This is our family,and you gotta come and have fun, and if you can't adapt, then I think you came to the wrong place and probably get the hell out.
00:10:48After dinner, mia discovers that one of her posters featuring offensive language has been torn down.
00:10:53(laughing) DID YOU RIP ONE OF MY POSTERS Off my wal I did rip one of your posters off your wall.
00:10:56 my mama likes the stuff I put on my wall.
00:11:01 ripping ..
00:11:05THERE--I'M PUTTING THIS ONE ON MY WALL. (laughs) It'll hang right here. what can you say?
00:11:14(laughs) SO I MADE HER ONE. OKAY.
00:11:16Mia thinks that she needs to use the "f" word to get her point across, and dad just laughs, and it's a big joke.
00:11:22Everything's a joke in this house--everything.
00:11:23It's the first morning of the swap in ohio, and michelle must help tom and not a minute later.
00:11:31Eyes open at me, please.
00:11:32From the minute they see the lights flashing, they have one hour and eight minutes to be out the door.
00:11:37Collin will sit here. shanie will sit here.
00:11:40" ..
00:11:44(Michelle) I AM SO LOST, And before I even have time to think of the next thing, he's in there barking orders on what needs to be done.
00:11:53Tom's outfit was very flashy-- disturbingly flashy.
00:11:58This doesn't stress you out, always having to think of, like, what's next on the schedule? no.
00:12:02(Tom) I DON'T BELIEVE THAT AS OF YET SHE'S Equipped with the foresight to look at what needs to be done next. two minutes off schedule.
00:12:06I can feel that in my bones.
00:12:10In michigan, uptight terri just can't help herself and tries to get the tyson kids off to school all right, guys. come on. it's time to get up.
00:12:19We gotta go to school. let's go. chop-chop.
00:12:21 oh, no, I don't want to smell it. I'm good, thanks.
00:12:25We have exactly, uh, two minutes to be out the house.
00:12:28How long is it gonna take us to put your makeup on? five minutes.
00:12:30WE STILL DON'T HAVE A COAT AND SHOES. (Terri) The whole fiasco trying to get the kids to school is absolutely incredible, because you can't find anything in this house.
00:12:38Did you do your homework last night? no.
00:12:39I forgot my book bag at my grandma's.
00:12:42 she would just tell me to tell my teacher that.
00:12:47Once home, terri discovers autumn's book bag is not at her grandmother's.
00:12:50It's right here, so it looks like we're gonna have to have a talk when she gets home.
00:12:55In ohio, michelle spends her morning cleaning I don't know why this is so important to them.
00:12:59This is something that I would probably advise somebody when shanie returns home from school, she leads michelle through a tassie-style inspection so if, like, my mom were to open this and see this, she'd have a coronary, and she would, like, make it as big of a mess as she could.
00:13:17.. for him to clean up.
00:13:20(voice breaking) THIS IS THE MOST ASININE Thing but we learn that if we just do it right, does THAT MAKE SENSE? UM, NO. (laughs) My kids are everything to me, so I can't imagine treating my kids like that.
00:13:35OKAY, I NEED A TISSUE. (Shanie) SHE HAS TO Understand that it's teaching them a lesson.
00:13:40They have to learn responsibility.
00:13:42Can't take shortcuts through life.
00:13:44In michigan, the kids are home from school, and terri confronts autumn about the book bag she claimed was left at her grandmother's.
00:13:50Autumn, look what I found today when you were in school.
00:13:53 no, I didn't go to your grandma's.
00:13:56It's amazing. I found it right in here.
00:13:58 I told her THAT YOU'RE JUST BEING A (bleep).
00:14:03Come on. let's go find your dad.
00:14:04 I think the way autumn is allowed to speak, it's unbelievable. it's unacceptable.
00:14:10(Autumn) HI, DAD. (Todd) HI.
00:14:12How ya doing? good.
00:14:13SHE CALLED ME A (bleep). WHO DID?
00:14:15She did. why?
00:14:17Dad, let's be clear.
00:14:19(laughing) And let's tell your dad about the backpack she went to grandma's and go got it.
00:14:23 no, actually, on our way to school-- since you want to continue to lie and make these crazy faces, I'llsay exactly what happened and tell the you holding the bag is not getting any homework done.
00:14:33You should be at the table helping her get the homework done, so she can turn it you're gonna allow her to call me the "b" word, and you're gonna allow her to sit there and lie to me?
00:14:40I don't have a problem with worrying about-- why don'tyouhelp her with her homework?
00:14:43WHY ARE YOU--WHY... (Todd) SHE DOESN'T ADAPT To any kind of lifestyle other than the lifestyle that she chose to live, which is a dull one.
00:14:51(Terri) I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT MICHELLE Feels like it's just silly nonsense 24/7.
00:14:58In ohio, the tassie boys come home to find michelle upset that she's created EVEN MORE WORK FOR THE TWO TO DO. (crying) I had to follow a rule today and come in here and take stuff out of your drawers and throw it on the floor. don't feel bad.
00:15:08It's no big deal.
00:15:10 we'll have it done by 3:38.
00:15:13I feel like you guys are controlled there's no reason to feel bad.
00:15:18Weshould have kept the drawers clean.
00:15:21Do you get this a lot? yeah.
00:15:23Like, we come home, and then it's just chores and then homework and then more chores, and then you just go to bed.
00:15:30I don't argue with it because I will just get in trouble for complaining.
00:15:34It's pathetic for an 11-year-old to do a bunch of chores and then have to go to bed.
00:15:41In michigan, it's nearly bedtime when todd and trevor get a call to recover a client we'll probably be back around 11:30, 12:00.
00:15:49 we gotta make the money.
00:15:52So you just leave to go do a job in the middle of the night, and your children stay home and fend for themselves.
00:15:57 what do you think about, like, that, when he gets a call, and he's just got to sometimes it makes me feel sad.
00:16:03Todd's 24-hour work schedule, where he can just get called away at the drop of a hat, and when he is home, he does nothing but make a big joke and a game out of everything, which leads the kids into utter chaos.
00:16:14In ohio, after a week of living under tom's strict rules, michelle has had enough and turns the tables on him.
00:16:20We got some wadded stuff in here that's not folded properly, AND THIS ONE HAS A WRINKLE. (Tom) HEY, EVERYONE.
00:16:26(Trent) HELLO. (Collin) HI.
00:16:28What's goin' on?
00:16:29I need to see everybody for a minute, please.
00:16:32Anybody want to explain?
00:16:33I did that out of intense frustration.
00:16:36These children have so much to do-- stop, stop, stop.
00:16:40No. stop. zip.
00:16:41I'm not gonna zip. no. you're in my house.
00:16:42Yeah, you are.
00:16:44 these are my things. they aren't yours.
00:16:47You do that to theirs. they're my children!
00:16:49.. you better care, because it's in my house.
00:16:51Because everything negative that you said-- disrespectful? what do you call that?
00:16:54What do you call throwing your kids' stuff I call them my children that are going to follow my rules.
00:16:59You know what? I'm done. you're a dictator.
00:17:00Boys, can you come pitch in and help me out?
00:17:04There is something wrong with that man.
00:17:06She can throw all the clothes on the floor she wants to.
00:17:10The kids will just go clean them up.
00:17:12In michigan, terri has decided to interrogate todd over how his 24-hour bail bonds business you definitely snd a lot of time away.
00:17:19A lot of time, not--not really a lot of time at home.
00:17:2200, 00 in-- hey, listen, if I don't hear from your brother in the next 15 minutes, I'm gonna take your house, and I'm gonna take him to jail.
00:17:34I'm done playing with you guys.
00:17:35 I don't understand the whole bond business, I guess, that you're getting-- you put all this on the line for somebody you don't follow the rules, you're going back to jail.
00:17:45It's interesting that you say that, because you have rules for your business, but you don't have those sort of things for your house?
00:17:52No, because here we're freedom of expression to do whatever we want inside our own home.
00:17:56You don't worry about that someday--that catching up to them by having no rules, no responsibility-- I got one more call to make here.
00:18:02Yeah, now who's gonna feed the kids when you go to jail, 'cause you're stupid?
00:18:06(Terri) IF TODD DOES NOT START PUTTING SOME Structure in his life for his children like he does his business, he's gonna be arresting his children.
00:18:17We will start by messing upthis picture-perfect house. negative.
00:18:21And the tysons turn nastyas terri enforces her rules.
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00:22:55Today everything is about to change in the tassie and tyson households as the new wives take control.
00:23:01I am going to break tom's control of these kids.
00:23:05(Terri) THE TYSON FAMILY ISGONNA LEARN That there is a better way of life, and that's the tassie way.
00:23:12Don't think you're gonna be makin' some rules around here, because as far as I'm concerned, rules were meant to be broken.
00:23:20The families are summoned to the rules change ceremony.
00:23:22It's time for the wives to lay down the new rules, todd, you are asleep at the wheel when it comes to being a parent.
00:23:31They are learning to be disrespectful, rather than you teaching them and giving them the tools they need to succeed in life.
00:23:37IT'S TIME TO STEP UP. (laughs) Tassies, all work and no play make you a dull family.
00:23:43From now on, you kids are going to relax and act like kids for a change.
00:23:48You can have all the fun with them that you want, todd, from now on, you are a bail bondsman only during regular 9:00 to 5:00 work hours.
00:23:56It's your opportunity to participate IN YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE. (laughing) Tassies, let's not slave over dinner and work like a machine to clean it up.
00:24:05This week, we'll eat nothing but take-out tacos.
00:24:09Is it better to be fat than skinny?
00:24:11Your mom is always thinking about you and what makes all ofyouhappy.
00:24:15 but what do you do forher?
00:24:19You will all help transform mom's hairdressing area into a proper salon so she can professionally cut hair.
00:24:24DO YOU UNDERSTAND? (goofy voice) NO!
00:24:27Tom, you control your kids.
00:24:29So this week, you will watch a lecture on why controlling your kids is not a good thing. whatever.
00:24:34I followed your guys' rules. really?
00:24:36I have thrown your children's clothes on the floor, .. you're incapable of shutting up and listening.
00:24:43Saying things but not hearing anything that makes sense.
00:24:46Stop your rant. you're embarrassing yourself.
00:24:48How you dress reflects who you are as a person.
00:24:51Todd, you dress like a homeless man.
00:24:53You keep going on with your belittling,demeanoringthings that you're saying, but you're not gonna come in here and tell me I dress like a homeless man, so, tassies, it's finally time to bring some fun into this family, and we will start by messing up this picture-perfect house, so let's go. negative. stayin' here.
00:25:11I followed your rules. I'm not movin'.
00:25:15Mia, this is not my idea of art.
00:25:18(mouths words) EVERY TIME I HEAR A CUSS WORD, The guilty person will be forced to scrub the potty with a toothbrush.
00:25:25I'm giving you exactly 77 minutes to find a place for everything you own.
00:25:30And at the end of that time, all the belongings still left on the floor, I will assume are trash.
00:25:35 go ahead, 'cause when all your stuff gets thrown out, you might wanna keep 'em 'cause that's all you're gonna have to wear.
00:25:43Terri enforces her first rule, that the family cleans up the entire house in 77 minutes, and anything remaining will be taken to the dump.
00:25:50Pick up all your dirty clothes right now.
00:25:52 I'll be back in a minute to check on ya.
00:25:55I'm gonna go check on michael.
00:25:56Let's get all this stuff here picked up.
00:25:57Hurry. quick.
00:25:59Run, run, run! fast! quick like a bunny!
00:26:01Time is everything. time is money.
00:26:03(Terri) ABOUT THREE MINUTES!
00:26:05Two minutes! we got a minute and a half!
00:26:07 get your garbage bags. this isn't garbage!
00:26:12Here we go. just keep going. don't stop now.
00:26:13(beep) THERE YOU GO! WHATEVER'S LEFT IS GONE! (Autumn) Shut up!
00:26:17AUTUMN! (Todd) HEY.
00:26:18 do you wanna-- do you wanna scrub the toilet?
00:26:22Do you wanna shut up?
00:26:23Excuse me, autumn. bite me!
00:26:25I've had it with your mouth, young lady!
00:26:26I don't care.
00:26:28I kept on telling her to shut up, but she didn't understand the concept.
00:26:36At the tassies', the family are refusing to follow the new rules, and an upset michelle has retired to her room.
00:26:42I think eventhey can define for you that that person ain't got a clue how to be a parent.
00:26:47I really did my part and did everything that I was supposed to for the last three days, d they're completely not open to even wanting to try to see how I live.
00:26:58All I can say is, if she really wants to do it, she's on her own, 'cause she--i'm not there.
00:27:02Right now these kids are really making me missmykids, 'cause my kids are crazy and fun-loving.
00:27:08I love how she called us dull. yeah.
00:27:11Okay, then go away. whatever.
00:27:13Part of me wants to go home.
00:27:18 what's the rule?
00:27:21Rule 13 says you're a jerk.
00:27:25And if your dadwon't teach ya,iwill.
00:27:46see, man?
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00:30:58It's the morning after rule change in michigan, and under terri's new rules, the tysons must rise early I'm gonna set the timer. you guys got exactly 30 minutes.
00:31:06Get those beds made and the rooms cleaned up.
00:31:08 oh, you got the things up top here but you have I don't think she knows " we need to buy her a dictionary.
00:31:16All this is not tucked in good here.
00:31:19You do needto dust everything, though.
00:31:25In ohio, after refusing to follow michelle's rules the previous night, the tassies have agreed to give her relaxed approach to getting off to school a try.
00:31:33I like lounging in the morning!
00:31:36I guess.
00:31:37We were taught respect, so out of respect, we have to follow her rules, but our dad's tearing us to get away, so it's kind of hard. blow.
00:31:44(sniffs) BRUSH YOUR TEETH. DAD!
00:31:46 it feels strange to not be involved with what they're doing.
00:31:50You know, some people call it control.
00:31:52I call it being involved in what they're doing I think they actually did a really good job of getting themselves going this morning, where did they have fun? i-i missed the fun part.
00:32:04You have--kids left here four minutes late.
00:32:06You tell me how that's a success story.
00:32:07All right, have a good day at work.
00:32:09 have a great day.
00:32:11You stay here and convince yourself how great is was. whatever, buddy.
00:32:14At the tysons', terri's ruled there'd be no more swearing, including mia's explicit posters, and any violations will result in toilet scrubbing duty.
00:32:23Don't touch my posters!
00:32:24Dad, how can you let her put this kind of stuff she can't-- to me, it's okay.
00:32:30I don't--i don't really have a problem with it.
00:32:31This is her room, and that's the bottom line.
00:32:32IT'S MY (bleep) WALL!
00:32:38 you should've thought about that dad, you need to help me here.
00:32:42 you need to help enforce them. what would you do at your house?
00:32:44I would have my husband come help me if she's well, I guess your hands are tied, so show me what you're gonna do about it.
00:32:48Come with me, and I'll show you exactly what I'm gonna do.
00:32:53Again, there's consequences in life.
00:32:55 I'm not cleaning that up.
00:32:58 dad, what are we gonna do about this?
00:33:01You wouldn't let her do this to your wife.
00:33:02(box thuds) Kick it like that, put it in the closet.
00:33:04Yeah, I'm laughing hysterically.
00:33:08Well, you never said it had to be organized, so there you go.
00:33:10You just said it had to be back in the closet.
00:33:11 I said ..
00:33:14I mean, if she goes around and destroys the whole house-- go ahead, keep doin' it.
00:33:20In ohio, with tom resisting her rules, michelle turns to the tassie kids, persuading them to play a prank on their dad.
00:33:27A little shaving cream never hurt anybody.
00:33:28That's right.
00:33:31At first, it was a really, really bad idea.
00:33:33I was really scared because I was not sure how my dad was gonna react.
00:33:36But then, like, once I started doing it, I was like, hey, you only live once. oh,my god.
00:33:40 we just need to remind your dad just to smile.
00:33:44IT FEELS WEIRD. (Collin) JUST DON'T GET IT On the walls, guys.
00:33:47I'm not used to it, so I guess it was just like-- once my brain proc--after about a half-hour, it was good, and I got ahold of it and I said, sweet!
00:33:54And we went upstairs andtorturizedthe upstairs.
00:33:56We got the streamers. we threw 'em like footballs.
00:33:58We hung chickens from the ceiling and said, " we really got time to know michelle, like, you don't even know what I'm feeling like right now.
00:34:08I feel so good, even though I'm, you know, I'm--i feel like, you know, light-headed and stuff, I feel so-- like probably the best I've felt in a long time.
00:34:15Once my dad does it with us, I think it'll be THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. (Collin and Shanie) SURPRISE!
00:34:22Oh, how did I know?
00:34:25Do you like it? not especially, no.
00:34:27They took a lot of time to write things for you that were really importantto tell you.
00:34:33(Shanie) DAD, IT'S NOT EVERY DAYTHAT YOU Do this, you know? thank god.
00:34:37Any dad wants to see their kids write, "i love you, dad," and so that always makes you feel good.
00:34:43But if they wrote, "i love you" in somebody's blood that they just murdered, it wouldn't make the murder okay.
00:34:50In michigan, upset that she isn't being backed up, terri confronts todd on the family's lack of respect for michelle.
00:34:56All right, todd.
00:34:58 it's obvious that mia isn't gonna clean this up.
00:34:59 if she don't want to clean it, and that's the way she feels about it, I'm gonna have to back her up 100%, once and for all, take responsibility for her actions for your wife's sake, not mine.
00:35:09I-i don't think the underlining issue is about my wife.
00:35:13Don't you want your wife to have respect from your kids at least?
00:35:16I need you to stand up to your daughter once and for all.
00:35:19I don't do that to my kids, and iwon'tdo that to my kids, the best thing for this family would be for todd to help out and enforce the rules.
00:35:28That didn't happen.
00:35:30 it sucks, and you suck.
00:35:34Michelle has so far been frustrated by tom's inability to participate with the rules, and she's on the verge of giving up when she gets support from an unexpected source.
00:35:43I feel like he's thrown a wrench into everything that, you know, just because my dad tells you that you're wrong, like, ..
00:35:52(Shanie) EVERYBODY SIT DOWN.
00:35:54No, this is not time to kick back and relax.
00:35:55This is serious.
00:35:56 what's the rule?
00:35:58What rule am I supposed to be following right now?
00:36:00I told you number one, you had to stop controlling the kids.
00:36:03.. and when did I control 'em?
00:36:04You have controlled the kids every time I've you're gonna point out the rule I didn't follow?
00:36:09 rule 13 says you're a jerk. that's what it says.
00:36:13Okay. okay, well, then that's your rule.
00:36:15I am--i'm done in this house. go have a meltdown.
00:36:18I can learn, you know, anything from people.
00:36:21But what we've learned so far is that when things get tough, we run, and so ensues the meltdown.
00:36:27Next, todd breaks down.
00:36:29Does that sound likea good thing?
00:36:31It's a surprise to him.he doesn't know.
00:36:34And will michelle be ableto continue with the swap?
00:36:38I can't take it anymore.
00:36:44) PRETTY. ( laughs ) There we go.
00:36:50( phone rings, laughter ) ♪♪♪♪
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00:37:14to him.
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00:39:19♪ ♪
00:39:23[ laughter ] ♪ ♪
00:39:28♪ too much talking 'bout the next time, the next time ♪
00:41:20unable to cope with tom, an emotional michelle has moved into a motel.
00:41:24 I am so sick of crying.
00:41:28(sniffles) I DON'T KNOW. IT'S...
00:41:30(voice breaks) BEING THERE IS BREAKING MY Heart.
00:41:32I don't know if I can go there anymore.
00:41:39(voice breaks) FOR ANYTHING THAT WE DID TO You.
00:41:42UM... (clears throat) And I hope you come back.
00:41:46But if you don't, I just wanna thank you for everything.
00:41:49You're a second mom to me, and I'll never forget you.
00:41:52At the tysons', after seeing her rules cause so much conflict, terri has decided to take a different approach with autumn.
00:41:57Prior to today, things were escalating, getting literally out of control.
00:42:02So I just tried to talk to everyone calmly.
00:42:04Can you tell me whyyou were so angry at me?
00:42:08Why do you think that is?
00:42:10See how you could explain yourself without being mean and--and sassy?
00:42:14We had a nice talk, and I wanted her to realize that I'm doing these things to try to teach her something, cleaning my room with terri was not fun because it was boring, but I'm gonna try my best to learn something out of this.
00:42:26After a night of reflection at a motel, michelle has come to some conclusions I'm gonna go back to the house because I don't want to just leave the kids.
00:42:36 we missed you, too.
00:42:38(Michelle) LAST NIGHT, I WAS LAYING IN BED, Thinking about the fact that I might need to work on my independence a little bit.
00:42:44I seem to be very dependent on my kids and my husband.
00:42:48Come on.
00:42:48I need to realize that I can do some more things on my own.
00:42:52In a final attempt to get through to tom, michelle enforces her rule that tom be on the receiving end of a lecture for a change.
00:42:59Tom, it's time for you to zip it up and listen.
00:43:03You are being ridiculous.
00:43:07.. prove anything.
00:43:09And your kids are having no fun, fun, fun.
00:43:12Love the little cue card presentation thing.
00:43:15That took a lot of work.
00:43:16 wasn't that fun?
00:43:18It's another chicken way of dealing with a conversation.
00:43:20"I can't have the conversation 'cause I can't hang in, " but today's moving along, gotten this far without a meltdown, so I'm not sure I wanna create a situation where that becomes possible again.
00:43:33After the success of her gentler approach with autumn, terri next takes on tough guy todd.
00:43:37I think it's important that you take the time to spend some one-on-one quality time with michael today.
00:43:42You and michael and myself will go to the pet store.
00:43:45Does that sound like a good thing?
00:43:47It's a surprise to him. he doesn't know.
00:43:49 I got up and I walked out of the room because it was touching, and I had to leave.
00:43:56Are you okay? yeah.
00:43:57No, I thought that-- that that was touching.
00:43:59I mean, I thought it was nice that you took the time out to think of that.
00:44:02And I'm--i'm actually looking forward to it. good. can I have a hug?
00:44:07Yeah. all right.
00:44:08(Todd) WHAT DO YOU THINK, MIKE?
00:44:10You wanna try and get a couple of those and take 'em home?
00:44:14Yep. all right.
00:44:18(Terri) THERE THEY GO!
00:44:21It was touching because it's something that he wants to do.
00:44:25I'm gonna do the best job that I can and try to spend quality time with michael.
00:44:29Terri brought some positive things.
00:44:32So no matter how evil she is, it looks like she does have a good side to her.
00:44:35So, I mean, some of the things she said was touching.
00:44:37Michelle wants the family to do a final fun activity together, and tom, who has decided he wants to avoid any further upset for michelle, has agreed to participate.
00:44:47Oh, my goodness, is this thing heavy.
00:44:49Okay, now we need to place it up.
00:44:52It has to overlap right there.
00:44:54 tom's getting involved .. way, BUT HE'S HAVING FUN WITH IT. (Tom) UH, WILL You run up and get me a towel?
00:45:02'Cause I'm starting to sweat profusely.
00:45:03(Collin) YEAH.
00:45:04 it was definitely a great experience it's definitely nice to see dad down here actually doing something with us.
00:45:11(Shanie) DAD, ARE YOU LOVING THE FORT? HONEY, I am so in love, your mother should be worried.
00:45:16It gives me a chance to show michelle that icandrop the guard and icanplay.
00:45:20It still doesn't mean that that's how life is going to be tomorrow.
00:45:23But it's important to my children THAT IT GET DONE RIGHT NOW. (Trent) OKAY, Now I'm hungry.
00:45:26(Shanie) LET'S EAT! BE CAREFUL WITH THAT, Buddy, with all that ketchup.
00:45:30I'm excited 'cause dad helped build this, and it looked like everybody had a lot of fun.
00:45:35UH-HUH. (laughs) In michigan, after bonding with michael, todd, on his own terms, has decided to step up with his kids for michelle.
00:45:45'Cause ma's coming home.
00:45:46I think it would be a great idea if we band together tonight to be able to clean the house up in ourownway, not demanding, reprimanding, da-da-da, butourway.
00:45:55Now ma's gonna have the opportunity to enjoyusdoing some work around the house, and she don't always have to do it for herself.
00:46:02(Todd) THERE'S SOME GARBAGE That we could probably get knocked out of here.
00:46:05How you doing, trev? gettin' it done? squeaky-clean.
00:46:08We did the cleanup, and we're happy that we could do it for michelle. good job.
00:46:12With the whole family finally on board, terri enforces her last rule-- that the tysons make over michelle's salon.
00:46:20(Terri) ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET BUSY.
00:46:25(Todd) WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? YOU THINK I think she's gonna love it.
00:46:30It's nice to do something for my mom, considering the fact she does so much for US. (Terri) IT'S AMAZING.
00:46:35You came together as a family, worked hard and got this accomplished for your mom.
00:46:39It's gonna mean the world to her.
00:46:41(laughs) THANKS, TREVOR.
00:46:42Next, the couples are reunited ..
00:46:46You gotta stop havin'the meltdowns and runnin' you know--all right, listen.
00:46:50I don't even wantto get into it with you.
00:46:51I don't care what you want.
00:46:52No, no, listen-- I'm gonna tell ya what I'm gonna tell ya.
00:48:26It's the final day of the swap, and the wives prepare to return to their families.
00:48:30Thank you, guys, for having me.
00:48:31The confidence that I saw in shanie was very inspiring, and I've learned that I need to be a little more independent.
00:48:38Thanks for the fun week.
00:48:39I hope to leave with this family that they will get some respect for themselves-- more importantly, have some more respect for their mom.
00:48:46Can I have a hug? no.
00:48:48The couples are about to be reunited.
00:48:50(Maxine Nightingale) ♪♪ I CAN PUT THAT SMILE ♪♪
00:48:53(crying) ♪♪ Back on your face ♪♪
00:48:56I love you.
00:48:57♪♪ Ooh, and it's all right ♪♪
00:49:00OH! (crying) How are ya?
00:49:02♪♪ To where we started from ♪♪
00:49:04(continues crying) Good to see you.
00:49:07(continues crying) It's judgment time as the couples finally come face-to-face across the table.
00:49:12My first impression when I walked into your house was, I couldn't find anything with anybody's personality, because I don't feel like your kids feel very free to express anything.
00:49:25From the minute you had your first meltdown, those kids weren't gonna express anything to you.
00:49:29You gotta stop havin' the meltdowns and runnin' okay, you know-- all right, listen.
00:49:33 I don't even wanna get into it with you. I don't care what you want.
00:49:36No, no, listen-- I'm gonna tell ya what I'm gonna tell ya.
00:49:38I'm gonna go on to the next subject.
00:49:40The next subject is the dresser incident.
00:49:42When I was told that that's what I was supposed to do, to do what you would do, I feltsoterrible.
00:49:45Oh, so you had a right to go into my room and take-- go intomydresser .. yeah, now you know how your kids feel when you throw their stuff on the floor. parent, child. parent, child.
00:49:52Let's review again.
00:49:55 parent, oh, so your kid can go out and drink beer until midnight if you--if you do? i--you know what?
00:50:01 I don't have to worry about those things with my kids.
00:50:04That's right, 'cause you don't have rules.
00:50:05 no--you know what? my kids are good kids.
00:50:07They don't act like robots and have great personalities. michelle, wait a minute.
00:50:08Your kids are good kids?
00:50:10 I've never seen or heard the "f" word more in my entire life than I did spending the last two weeks with your family.
00:50:17EVEN LITTLE AUTUMN CALLED ME (bleep). AND You smile at that like it's funny.
00:50:21I went to todd, and, of course, in your house, are you kid--are you kidding me right now?
00:50:27You know, the kids were being the kids, and from your standpoint, that was completely wrong.
00:50:31And from me, I was kinda laid-back and lax and I'm, like, I did not feel that todd was a-a good parent at all.
00:50:36 you've gotta step up and make the difficult decision " I mean, that's your lifestyle.
00:50:43 it doesn't work for me, and that--that's personally the way I feel.
00:50:45It came time for rule change, and if they were gonna talk like a sailor, they were gonna clean like a sailor. mm-hmm.
00:50:52So they all got toothbrushes, including todd.
00:50:55Mia--she's not gonna do it. there's a consequence.
00:50:57I took everything out of her closet and threw it in one pile on the floor, and it was truly to prove a point to mia that I meant business.
00:51:04So I think it was a valuable lesson, and I could tell ya, if ever she doesn't behave, throw the stuff out on the floor 'cause she hated it. I don't know if I can do that.
00:51:12It was awesome.
00:51:14 I see where I could be a little firmer you have lost your personal identity, because you live, eat and breathe your family, and you really, really, really need i-i do need to do a litt more for myself.
00:51:29(voice breaks) I DON'T DO VERY MUCH FOR MYSELF Sometimes.
00:51:34You deserve it.
00:51:35You're a good mom, your kids love you, and you deserve it, michelle.
00:51:40After two weeks apart, the wives are about to be reunited with their children.
00:51:46(Collin and Shanie) HI, MOM!
00:51:50Like, we don't have to be so,so, so clean.
00:51:51I'mthe mom. I like a clean house.
00:51:56Oh, my gosh.
00:51:57IT LOOKS AWESOME IN HERE, AUTUMN. (Terri) This is disgusting.
00:52:00I would be embarrassed for you to live like hogs.
00:52:03THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN. (Todd) HOW DOES IT Feel to be the queen?
00:52:06This is awesome. thank you.
00:52:08A few weeks after the swap, the cameras returned to see how the experience had affected the families' lives.
00:52:15What you doing?
00:52:17We should probablyget some plants for you.
00:52:19You wanna try and do that today, me and you since the swap, I'm taking time out to be able to spend that quality time with my son.
00:52:27 what do you think OF THIS? (Michael) THAT'S COOL.
00:52:31We were wondering if there's anything we can do I think just michael's ..
00:52:36I do feel like they appreciate me a little bit more because of some of the things that they're you can't have this hanging off the floor.
00:52:42I try to the best I can to help around the house, pull my weight.
00:52:45As far asindependencygoes, she's working on it.
00:52:47 I'm readin' a magazine.
00:52:49YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA BACK HER UP 100%. (laughs) No, I love you. I love you, too.
00:52:54 we got to see what's going on.
00:52:57You know it's time for drawer check today.
00:52:59Since the swap, nothing around here has really changed.
00:53:03You know better than that!
00:53:04I know that if our house ever looks like the way it was ..
00:53:08Put those neatly in there in twos, please.
00:53:09Two and two.
00:53:11When michelle came here,it was fun for a short time.
00:53:12However, it's you take the childand tell 'em for ten years, ou can't get inthe cookie jar," the first day you say,"get in the cookie jar," they're gonna make themselvesthrow up eatin' cookies.
00:53:24But sincewe all got back together, I think I've been looser with everybody.
00:53:27So mom and I were talking, ..
00:53:31Somebody's gotta get the dogs out and back IN THEIR CAGES. (Terri) COME ON, GIRLS.
00:53:35Trent, the broom has to be put away in the garage.
00:53:38 we have tried to do a few more things that are a little bit more laid-back.
00:53:42 we--we can't sit and dillydally.
00:53:44'Cause this is whatreal quality time is all about-- still with structure, still with rules, but it's still quality time, so that's the best mix.
00:53:58Oh, his handskeep falling off.
00:54:04How long you thinkhe's gonna live?
00:54:06I think we shouldlet him live until he melts.
00:54:08How many daysis he gonna take to melt?
00:54:10I say he ends up deadwithin five minutes.
00:54:15(Todd) HE'S DONE. (laughs) (Trevor laughs) (Tysons laughing) (Mary Alice) PREVIOUSLY ON "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"...
00:54:30 he deserves to have all the facts.
00:54:33She abandoned her husband and her son, and I'll never forgive her.
00:54:39How much do we really wanna know about our neighbors?
00:54:43You're gonna cancel the meeting with that divorce lawyer, and we're gonna find ourselves a marriage counselor.
00:54:47 I live across the street.
00:54:49If you wanna date him, you're gonna have I keep hoping he'll ask me out.
00:54:54 and I really hate that I spent $15,000 on your diamond necklace, but I'm learning to deal with it.
00:55:02Do you love him? I do.
00:55:04 why are we doing this?
00:55:07Because I don't wanna wake up one morning with the sudden urge to blow my brains out.
00:55:16Mary Alice: After I died, I began to surrender the parts of myself that were no longer necessary.
00:55:23My desires, beliefs, ambitions, doubts -- every trace of my humanity was discarded.
00:55:31I discovered when moving through eternity, it helps to travel lightly.
00:55:36In fact, I held on to only one thing -- my memory.
00:55:43It's astonishing to look back on the world I left behind.
00:55:47I remember it all -- every single detail.
00:55:54Like my friend bree van de kamp.
00:56:00I remember the easy confidence of her smile, the gentle elegance of her hands, the refined warmth of her voice.
00:56:17Rex, wasn't that a lovely -- was the look of fear in her eyes.
00:56:22Bree had started to realize her world was unraveling, and for a woman who despised loose ends, that was unacceptable.
00:56:34Rex. you need to get up.
00:56:37It's not even light out.
00:56:38 if the kids see you sleeping down here, they're going to start asking questions.
00:56:42Let 'em ask. I don't care anymore.
00:56:45Well, I care.
00:56:46They don't need to be burdened with our marital problems, and while we're working things out, the least we can do is try to keep up appearances.
00:56:53Oh, yeah. appearances.
00:56:55I keep forgetting about appearances.
00:56:58Oh, rex, you look so tired.
00:57:01I didn't sleep.
00:57:02This damn thing is so uncomfortable.
00:57:05Well, why don't you move back upstairs and sleep in our bed?
00:57:09We're in marriage counseling, bree.
00:57:11I think that would confuse things.
00:57:13It's just -- I miss you.
00:57:16I know you do.
00:57:17Of course, if I don't start getting some sleep pretty soon, I'll be forced to move back upstairs out of sheer exhaustion.
00:57:30Yes, bree was afraid of many things, but if there was one thing she wasn't afraid ..
00:57:41It was a challenge.
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