Three's Company - Strangers in the Night   View more episodes

Aired at 02:00 AM on Wednesday, Oct 06, 2010 (10/6/2010)      View all transcripts from this day


00:00:02Excuse me, arabella, I'm so sorry.
00:00:06There yoare.
00:00:07A seat for the sweet.
00:00:10Jack, you are so gallant.
00:00:13Well, I've always felt that women should be looked up to, put on a pedestal.
00:00:17Treated with the utmost devotion and respect.
00:00:19Hi, jack, missed you at mud wrestling this week.
00:00:23I was trying to get those women out of the mud and back on the pedestal.
00:00:29Hi, lily.
00:00:30Uh, I guess we'll order now.
00:00:34I'm sorry, arabella, you first.
00:00:36Yes, thank you.
00:00:37I'll have a glass of white wine and a dinner salad.
00:00:41Yeah, I'll take a cheeseburger and a beer.
00:00:43Oh, excellent choice.
00:00:45Thank you.
00:00:45You want to hurry that up, lily?
00:00:47All right.
00:00:48I'll be right back.
00:00:49I know how much you miss me.
00:00:52That lily, she's a great kidder.
00:00:55Well, maybe you'd rather be with lily.
00:00:59I saw the way you were looking at her.
00:01:01I may have been looking ather but I was thinking about you.
00:01:07How sweet.
00:01:11Would you excuse me?
00:01:13I've got to make a call.
00:01:14 it's right up there over to your left.
00:01:18You can't miss it.
00:01:19Watch out for the step.
00:01:21I'm sorry.
00:01:26I'll save it for later.
00:01:29Oh, gosh.
00:01:32Boy, what a night.
00:01:33My feet are killing me.
00:01:34Why don't you take a break?
00:01:36Ooh, thanks, I will.
00:01:38Lily, come on, don't do that.
00:01:40I don't have any change.
00:01:43Still thinking about me?
00:01:45I just borrowed his lap for a second.
00:01:48Well, you can just keep his lap and the rest of him, too.
00:01:52Y'all come back now, you hear?
00:02:02Are you still reading that magazine?
00:02:06Terri, this is such trash.
00:02:08Look at this.
00:02:09" I can't believe you could be taken in by ..
00:02:16Move over.
00:02:20" yeah.
00:02:23"Show a man you're interested in him .." (gasping) Hey, I do that.
00:02:33I do, too.
00:02:37But I don't dothat.
00:02:39I don't even know what that is.
00:02:44(gasping) Oh, my. wow.
00:02:46Okay. that's it.
00:02:47I've had quite enough.
00:02:48I don't think we should leave this sort of magazine laying around our house.
00:02:52Janet, this magazine just speaks about things frankly and openly.
00:02:55There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
00:02:58(doorbell rings) There's no sense in embarrassing ourselves, though.
00:03:06Hi, lar.
00:03:07Come on in.
00:03:07Terri and I were just in here hanging around doing nothing.
00:03:11Nothing, nothing. bored, bored.
00:03:13Jack around?
00:03:14Oh. oh, no.
00:03:14No. oh, he's still out with scarlett o'hara.
00:03:23(moaning) Jack?
00:03:28Are you all right?
00:03:31It's over.
00:03:31It's all over between us.
00:03:34Oh, what happened, honey?
00:03:35Arabella caught lily sitting in my lap.
00:03:39Well, lily was just kidding around but arabella thought I was coming on to her.
00:03:47(groaning) Jack, instead of moaning and groaning why don't you just tell her that it was just a little joke?
00:03:55I tried calling her, but she won't even talk to me.
00:03:58Oh. well, okay.
00:03:59You know how you're always saying she's an old-fashioned southern belle?
00:04:04Why don't you use some old-fashioned southern methods?
00:04:06Just keep pouring those mint juleps down her.
00:04:11What are you thinking?
00:04:12Thanks, terri.
00:04:13I had something in mind, like jack would do something gallant, or romantic.
00:04:18Like maybe writing her a beautiful love letter.
00:04:21Oh, serenade her under the window.
00:04:24Oh, that's romantic.
00:04:25Then once she's under your spell you climb up to her window and ask her to dinner.
00:04:29Janet: No, no, no.
00:04:30He doesn't ask her he hands her a very formal invitation.
00:04:34It's got his name up here and his address.
00:04:36That way she'll think he spent a whole lot of time preparing.
00:04:39That's a nice touch, janet.
00:04:41Oh, it's perfect, it's perfect.
00:04:43Serenade her?
00:04:45You know, it just might work.
00:04:47Go for it.
00:04:49(sings off-key): ♪♪ I LOVE YOU TRULY ♪♪
00:04:54 ♪♪
00:05:00maybe you ought to send flowers.
00:05:02Wait a minute.
00:05:02Tell you what I'm going to do for you.
00:05:05I'll sing.
00:05:07You'll sing to my girl?
00:05:08No, no. she won't see me.
00:05:10She'll see you moving your lips.
00:05:11I'll just be a voice in the darkness.
00:05:13Come on, larry, that's nutty.
00:05:15Who cares?
00:05:16Larry, know any romantic songs?
00:05:18Well, sure.
00:05:20 ♪♪
00:05:23I know that one.
00:05:24That's perfect.
00:05:25Pretend you're singing.
00:05:27Pretend I'm singing?
00:05:28♪♪ You are so beautiful to me ♪♪
00:05:31 ♪♪
00:05:37(crickets chirping) Which one is she?
00:05:51.. uh...
00:05:52Top floor, second window on the left.
00:05:55What are you waiting for?
00:05:57Go ahead, call her.
00:05:58Give me those.
00:05:59Okay, I'm going you got it.
00:06:10Throw something.
00:06:17(bangs) Look, there she is.
00:06:24Hit it.
00:06:27(strums chord) ♪♪ You are so beautiful to me ♪♪
00:06:34♪♪ you are so beautiful to me ♪♪
00:06:38 ♪♪
00:06:40(coughing) (coughs loudly) ♪♪ You're everything ♪♪
00:06:56♪♪ I hope for ♪♪
00:06:58♪♪ what's more, you're everything I need ♪♪
00:07:03 ♪♪
00:07:11(dog howling) Climb up there and give her the invitation.
00:07:21That's it.
00:07:22(guitar banging ground) Hello.
00:08:13I got your invitation.
00:09:573Q us.
00:09:59That's why Lysol has started a mission for health.
00:10:02With new mom programs, Lysol healthy habits initiatives in schools and disaster relief efforts.
00:10:14When you useLysol at home, you'll know you're a partof something bigger.
00:10:21For healthy tipsand more, visit
00:10:56play is "the farmer's vegetablepatch," right?
00:10:58There's a full serving of vegetables in every manwich.
00:11:01So you're made of vegetables, yet you're eating vegetables?
00:11:05[ Male Announcer ] EVERY MANWICH HAS A FULL Serving of wholesome vegetables.
00:11:08Manwich. meat your vegetables.
00:12:13.. you got it?
00:12:14Your bouquet hit me in the face.
00:12:19Oh, I'm-i'm-i'm terribly sorry.
00:12:21Don't apologize.
00:12:22I just love this poem you wrote and "you are so beautiful" is my favorite ..
00:12:30Next to the theme fromstar wars.
00:12:34Is that a fact?
00:12:35.. well, I think I better explain.
00:12:40You know, I just could never imagine something that wonderful would ever happen to somebody like me.
00:12:46You know, last night was the most wonderful beautiful night of my entire life.
00:12:53Now, what was it you wanted to say to me?
00:12:57Have a seat.
00:12:59Thank you.
00:13:02I'm just on cloud nine.
00:13:12I don't know how all this happened.
00:13:15Oh, I do.
00:13:16You do?
00:13:17Yes. you-you saw me across a crowded room.
00:13:19You felt that certain something.
00:13:22You had to get to know me so you followed me home and poured out your heart in song.
00:13:28By the way, I'm bernice.
00:13:30I'm stunned.
00:13:31I'm jack.
00:13:33(doorbell rings) Hang on for a second.
00:13:38Oh. okay.
00:13:43Hi, jack.
00:13:44Look, I'm sorry to interrupt but I am justdying to see the girl that my buddy jack would go to the ends of the earth for.
00:13:50I want to feast my eyes ..
00:13:55That golden goddess.
00:13:56Passion's princess.
00:13:59Where is she?
00:14:01Here I am.
00:14:08Let me get this straight-- this is the girl you serenaded?
00:14:11Oh, with such a beautiful voice.
00:14:18Oh, a voice like that should be on records.
00:14:25You really think so?
00:14:29Congratulations, buddy.
00:14:31You have got yourself one special girl.
00:14:36Hold on to her, jack.
00:14:44Lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy.
00:14:51 we don't mean to interrupt ..
00:14:54In the flesh.
00:14:58You're not what I expected at all.
00:15:01My parents said that, too.
00:15:05Introduce us.
00:15:06Right. uh, these are my roommates.
00:15:09This is roommate janet and this is roommate terri.
00:15:13Hi. so nice to meet you.
00:15:14Oh, me, too.
00:15:15We're very close.
00:15:18So, now that you know the truth you'll probably want to cancel out.
00:15:23Oh, no.
00:15:23I don't mind sharing him. do you?
00:15:30You can have my share.
00:15:32Janet, could I speak to you in the kitchen for just a moment?
00:15:37You too, terri.
00:15:38I'll be right back.
00:15:39Can you hang on for a second?
00:15:42Oh, jack. jack.
00:15:48You big lug!
00:15:50I just want to explain about that girl, okay?
00:15:53No need to explain.
00:15:54I think she's very nice.
00:15:55Yeah, and we're proud of you.
00:15:56Arabella's not the kind of girl you usually go for.
00:15:59Yeah, but that's not arabella.
00:16:01That's bernice.
00:16:01(together): BERNICE?
00:16:06I serenaded the wrong girl.
00:16:12Come on!
00:16:13Help me out, will you?
00:16:14Sorry, sorry.
00:16:17Big help here!
00:16:21We hope you have a lovely dinner.
00:16:23We have to run.
00:16:24Bye, bernice.
00:16:25Nice meeting you.
00:16:27Oh, you, too.
00:16:27Sure hope to see you again real soon.
00:16:29Oh, and bernice um, we are going to be out late.
00:16:32Oh, very,verylate.
00:16:40.. we're alone at last.
00:16:43Not really, uh people keep dropping in here all the time.
00:16:47(doorbell rings) !
00:16:48There's someone right now.
00:16:50We're never alone.
00:16:51Excuse me.
00:16:52Hi, sug.
00:16:53Arabella, hi.
00:16:55Darling, I just had to come and see you.
00:16:58It was so unfair of me to suspect you of wanting any other woman.
00:17:07Well! pick my peas.
00:17:12Who's she?
00:17:14I don't know.
00:17:15I mean, no, I mean, uh arabella, this is bernice.
00:17:19Would you excuse us?
00:17:21Uh, we have to talk.
00:17:23Oh,certainement, my love.
00:17:30This is going to sound crazy but, see, I wanted to try to win you back so I went to your place last night to serenade you.
00:17:37To serenade me!
00:17:38Oh, well, how romantic!
00:17:40It would have been, if it were you but it washer so, thinking she was you, I invited her to dinner.
00:17:46I-i-i didn't know how to tell her the truth.
00:17:48You don't believe a word I'm saying, do you?
00:17:51Well, on the contrary, jack.
00:17:53I'm deeply moved.
00:17:56You are?
00:17:56I never knew you were that much of a gentleman.
00:18:04Now, you just get rid of her while I go powder my nose.
00:18:07.. get-get rid of her?
00:18:09I can't do that.
00:18:10Oh, my, what a pity.
00:18:12I was going to show you a game called the burning of atlanta.
00:18:21The burning of atlanta?
00:18:24Yes, and it getsveryhot.
00:18:29She'll be gone in two seconds.
00:18:52Listen, about all this-- I really have to apologize.
00:18:56No! no, no, you don't.
00:18:58Oh, jack, most other men wouldn't think they had to apologize.
00:19:02I guess that's what I love about you.
00:19:05You are so sweet.
00:19:06You're so sensitive.
00:19:10No, I'm not.
00:19:11No, no. that was just a lie.
00:19:13It's just a front I put up to get what i want because inside I'm a seething, throbbing bucket of lust!
00:19:20I'm not good enough to be in the same room with you.
00:19:24I'm filth!
00:19:28Oh, jack!
00:19:35Bernice, didn't you hear me?
00:19:37I'm no good.
00:19:38I know but your honesty really turns me on!
00:19:45What have we here?
00:19:47Arabella, this is not how it looks.
00:19:49Oh, honey, it's exactly how it looks.
00:19:51She threw herself at you.
00:19:54Honey, this whole incident it was just a dreadful mistake.
00:19:58You see, jack just didn't have the heart to tell you.
00:20:04He was just feeling sorry for you.
00:20:11Maybe I'd better just leave.
00:20:14No, wait a minute.
00:20:15Arabella, I think it's time you knew what really happened.
00:20:19I already do.
00:20:20No, you don't.
00:20:22I saw bernice across a crowded room and I felt that certain something.
00:20:30Ihadto know her so I followed her home and I poured out my heart to her in song.
00:20:36He sang "you are so beautiful" to me.
00:20:40You're kidding.
00:20:43Now, if you'll excuse us we have a date.
00:20:58Well, you know, in that case, jack tripper I don't ever want to see you again.
00:21:03Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
00:21:16Oh, jack.
00:21:18Jack, nobody ever made me feel this special before.
00:21:22You make me feel good, too.
00:21:26.. you know what you said about, about seeing me across a crowded room?
00:21:34Thank you for that wonderful lie.
00:22:20Or you can use kmart layaway -with just $5, plus a little down -you spread the payments over eight weekswith no finance charges.
00:22:26You're good!
00:22:26No matter how you do the math -kmart layaway is the easy way to pay.
00:22:30There's smart andthere's kmart smart.
00:24:21Hi, jack.
00:24:22Hi, girls.
00:24:23Where's bernice?
00:24:23She left, you just missed her.
00:24:26Well, what happened?
00:24:27Janet, I'm not the type to kiss and tell.
00:24:31I'll tell you, we had a lovely dinner.
00:24:33We talked, had a few laughs.
00:24:35She's a lot of fun.
00:24:36Oh, that's great.
00:24:37So, how was the movie?
00:24:40Boy, I am so sick of movies with explicit love scenes in them.
00:24:44It's all around us.
00:24:45I an, sex, sex, sex, you can't avoid it.
00:24:48Oh, it's disgusting.
00:24:49I couldn't agree with you more.
00:24:50Why, jack, it's so nice to hear you say that.
00:24:57Night, honey.
00:24:58Oh, girls.
00:24:59Both: Yeah?
00:25:00You forgot your dirty magazine.
00:25:08[Captioning sponsored byMTV NETWORKS Captioned byThe Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation] Three's companywas videotapedin front of a studio audience.
00:27:41Mw@óA;c c ♪♪ Come and knock on our door ♪♪
00:28:34♪♪come and knock on our door♪♪
00:28:35♪♪ we've been waitin' for you ♪♪
00:28:37♪♪we've been waitin' for you♪♪
00:28:38♪♪ where the kisses are hersand hers and his ♪♪
00:28:42♪♪ three's company, too ♪♪
00:28:44♪♪ come and dance on our floor ♪♪
00:28:46♪♪come and dance on our floor♪♪
00:28:48♪♪ take a step that is new ♪♪
00:28:49♪♪take a step that is new♪♪
00:28:51♪♪ we've a lovable spacethat needs you